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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this person is not a good friend?

9 replies

Iris65 · 08/10/2017 22:15

Twice now I have been let down by a relatively new friend. They have my mobile number but never contact me on it to let me know they are not coming. Instead they post a facebook message. They know I don't use FB much as I am hardly on there and because after the first time I told them I don't use facebook much so gave them my mobile.
Both times they cancelled an hour before, but I didn't get the message and was left waiting in the restaurant for an hour. Both times they knew that I am going through a really hard time. Both times they have cancelled because they went out the night before and were hungover and tired.
They want to meet up again and I am just thinking I don't want to be let down again.

OP posts:
BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 08/10/2017 22:19

I wouldn't bother with them.
Letting someone down is bad.
Letting them down at very short notice is very bad.
"Telling" them via a medium that they don't use is bloody rude

YouDancin · 08/10/2017 22:20

Oh Dear - not good. I'd dump them. No more contact. Just don't reply. They have shown you twice how much you mean to them (less than a phone call) so believe thwm. Sorry - it probably hurts but save yourself from them.

SenoritaViva · 08/10/2017 22:20

Rude. Not worth keeping.

Sorry you're having a hard time Flowers

YouCantCallMeBetty · 08/10/2017 22:21

No, I don't think you are being U. I'd be tempted to explain the reason why you don't want to when 'friend' asks to meet again.

NancyDonahue · 08/10/2017 22:21

Very rude to cancel by facebook message. They should make phone call or at least send a text with a follow up to make sure you got the message. Not sure I'd want to bother carrying on with such a flaky friendship but maybe give them one last chance, if they cancel again - forget it

Nocabbageinmyeye · 08/10/2017 22:23

Nah don't bother, they are very rude, nobody needs that in their lives

zippydoodaar · 08/10/2017 22:23

I wouldn't reply and I certainly wouldn't be planning another night out with them.

troodiedoo · 08/10/2017 22:25

Cancel on the day - definitely by phone call to convey apology and be sure other person has the message. Bin them.

Rudedog · 08/10/2017 23:41

Being stood up is my limit.

I actually lost my best friend over it after 20+ years of friendship

I recently had a mum friend who stood me up and stood DD up several times - she would make plans, get up decide she couldn't be bothered. Ignore your messages and then hours later would message going 'I wasn't in the mood'

She's moved away, she expects me to go visit....no chance, as I said to one friend, how can I guarantee she would be there.

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