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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for no presents at 2 year old birthday party.

17 replies

Mammylamb · 07/10/2017 12:01

My son has loads of toys, and clothes. We are having a second birthday party for his wee friends in November. As it is near to Christmas everyone needs their money.

Wibu to ask everyone not to buy a present? I don't want them to put money in a card either. Should I mention that on the invite so that folk don't think it's a sneaky ploy for cash?

Ps he will still be getting presents on his birthday from us and family!! He will not be a poor wee soul with no presents!!

OP posts:
brasty · 07/10/2017 12:04

I think YABU sorry. Maybe a note to parents saying you have lots of toys already, so if they want to give a present, please only pocket money toys of no more than a £1. Then he can play with them on the day and maybe day after, and you will feel fine putting them in the bin afterwards.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 07/10/2017 12:04

I think its pointless really. Theres no way I'd turn up empty handed to a child's party even if I only went to the pound shop.

AnnaBegins · 07/10/2017 12:06

Totally understand the feeling, our house is now full of toys following a birthday party. We were given quite a few duplicates so regifting lessens the toys!

PandorasXbox · 07/10/2017 12:06

I think it’s fine. You could explain that he has many toys already and that you’d just like their company and for them to join you in celebrating his birthday.

If I received message I wouldn’t think you were after cash. I’d message you and ask if there was anything else he needed though like new pyjamas etc.

RavingRoo · 07/10/2017 12:08

Why not ask your guests to donate money to a favoured charity instead? I think Macmillan have an event in November.

Orangepear · 07/10/2017 12:08

My DD went to a party recently where the invitation asked for no presents but to take some party food along. I thought it was a great idea!

brasty · 07/10/2017 12:09

And I would never turn up empty handed, which is why you need to give an alternative. You could ask them to bring sweets instead? Then dole them out over a long period of time.

Welshrainbow · 07/10/2017 12:10

I would feel guilty turning up empty handed could you ask for books only to build his library or say instead of a gift he's really like it if each child made him a picture so you could keep them in an album for him.

brasty · 07/10/2017 12:15

Or ask for a picture for his wall? Something. If you simply say no presents or money, most people will ignore you.
Personally I would ask for pocket money presents of no more than a £1. Then when I got annoyed with them, I would bin them.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 07/10/2017 12:16

Or ask for books. Not just reading books coloring books, as well.
A child can not have too many books.
Educational and stimulating

zeebeedee · 07/10/2017 12:21

DS has been invited to a couple of 'no present' parties recently - it did feel a bit strange to turn up empty handed so we took a small token gift that would get used up - bubbles to one and sweets to the other. There were lots of cards (which may or may not have contained money, I don't know) and still lots of presents at both - one set of parents were pretty laid back about it, but the others were almost cross, and it did create a bit of a funny atmosphere.

So however you ask, be graceful at what turns up, and you'll be OK.

YellowMakesMeSmile · 07/10/2017 12:48

A two year old doesn't need a party so you could skip that then presents will only come from family and the odd friend.

It's rude to dictate gifts but if asked you could ask for crafts or books.

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 07/10/2017 12:50

You can do it but expect people to bring presents anyway. I would! I’d never turn up empty handed to a party

Kokeshi123 · 07/10/2017 12:53

We always do this.

It's better to explain (politely) the reasons why, so that people don't think you're just saying "no gifts" out of politeness.

And also, as others have said, give an alternative to people--like bring crisps or a bottle of drink or something.

SaucyJack · 07/10/2017 12:56

Have you got lots of storage?

Maybe hint at people that you'd like presents aimed at a slightly older child (puzzles, craft kits, yadda yadda) and then eke them out on rainy weekends throughout the year.

Original poster
Mammylamb · 07/10/2017 13:43

Thanks everyone. Part of the reason I don't want people buying presents is that it is already a very expensive time of year and I don't want to add to the burden. However it does seem like folk will still bring presents no matter what xx

OP posts:
The3Ls · 07/10/2017 13:48

We went t o e where they asked for toys to take to the children's ward. That or food bank donations are nice ideas

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