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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To hate having to choose food before the event?

46 replies

AtHomeDadGlos · 05/10/2017 12:43

Event coming up - not massive (about 16 of us) and there will be other various diners at the restaurant ordering their own food.

It’s been suggested we all choose our food before the day - bare in mind orders will be decided this week and the event isn’t until the end of August!

I can’t stand ordering food this far in advance. I have no idea what I’d like for dinner tomorrow let alone in over a month’s time.

AIBU?

OP posts:

TheEmmaDilemma · 05/10/2017 12:44

It annoys me, but a big group it makes it a lot easier.

treeofhearts · 05/10/2017 12:48

August? It's October.

Original poster

AtHomeDadGlos · 05/10/2017 12:50

Sorry, I meant November! Don’t know where August came from! D’oh.

OP posts:

Wishingandwaiting · 05/10/2017 12:52

If you go to a dinner party / conference or similar, you don’t have any choice, you get what you’re given.

So think of it a bit like that

amusedbush · 05/10/2017 13:05

I look at the menu and choose what I'm having ahead of time whenever I eat out, even if it's just DH and I having dinner. I like to plan ahead

ShutUpBaz · 05/10/2017 13:15

As a chef in a large pub that asks exactly this of my guests with large bookings, I can assure you its to make sure we have exactly what you want and your whole group gets their food hot and together. There is nothing worse than having guests waiting for food to come out in dribs and drabs and it getting cold while waiting for others. We aren't trying to be awkward, just give you the best and most efficient experience.

Sparklingbrook · 05/10/2017 13:20

Sounds fine to me. 16 is quite a large party and it's sensible to make sure you can eat what you want.

Subtlecheese · 05/10/2017 13:21

I love it. It's a surprise on the day as I will have entirely forgotten such a tiny detail

Sparklingbrook · 05/10/2017 13:23

YY always a good idea to make a note.

One place we went to for a Christmas meal there were placecards with our name on and what we were eating on the back. Genius.

Somerville · 05/10/2017 13:24

I understand the practical reasons for this happening. But it makes me seethe. Firstly when I have to try to decide what I may feel like eating in a month's time. Then when we get to the restaurant and half the other people in the group have forgotten what they ordered, or claim what's put in front of them is wrong, until they're shown their order email. And finally, when someone else has had the foresight to order the fucking thing I now want.

ShutUpBaz · 05/10/2017 13:29

If you decide to order seperately i.e between the various other diners, then you will get your food seperately. Again, not to be awkward, but to ensure the other guests get their food hot and in a reasonable time. Its the risk you take if you choose not to pre-order in the type of set up you describe.

Danceswithwarthogs · 05/10/2017 13:30

At least ordering in advance should mean they have the dish you want.... rather than making a decision on the night and then finding there's only one of those, they've sold out of that, and nothing is gluten free etc.

Sparklingbrook · 05/10/2017 13:32

I have to add though it's generally around Christmas that this has happened to me.

Really not a big deal.

pisacake · 05/10/2017 13:33

16 is a big group. for six fair enough,m but for 16 yabu

Majormanner · 05/10/2017 13:36

just look at the menu and pick something fairly unoffensive

Hippee · 05/10/2017 13:39

The worst thing is when they ask for your preferences but aren't organised enough to make sure that everyone sticks to what they ordered. I have been to things where people like the look of the vegetarian or gluten free option on the day and the people who really need those, are left without.

CoughLaughFart · 05/10/2017 13:42

its to make sure we have exactly what you want and your whole group gets their food hot and together.

I must admit I'd never considered it from a coordination point of view. I always thought a table of 16 would be no more difficult to handle than four tables of four, but this makes sense.

I still hate doing it though Although not as much as I hate being asked to 'choose' my meal for the Christmas lunch and then discovering there's only one veggie option. Don't get me started on that!

mindutopia · 05/10/2017 13:42

It doesn't bother me. I think in these situations, you're going to participate in the event, the food is secondary. I would be more annoyed if I had to choose food for a nice dinner out with my husband on date night because in those situations I truly am going out for the food (the rare experience of being able to eat something I didn't cook) rather than for the company (I see my husband every day). But for events, you are going for the event. The food isn't the main reason, so it really doesn't matter and it means they know in advance if you have any specific allergies or dietary needs so that can plan for them, which is courtesy to you really. I think as long as you aren't allergic to it or absolutely hate it, just pick something and enjoy the company. You can eat something you really love the next day.

The only thing I would say really bothers me is commiting to expensive events well in advance and I mean WELL in advance (not so much the food). We got invited to a family wedding last year in Italy with a demand to rsvp and choose our menu a YEAR in advance. I truly had no way of even knowing if we would be able to get the time off work or have the money to afford it a full year in advance of the date. We had to say no, because that's just ridiculous. But I think a month in advance, you can know you're able to go or not, so just pick something as long as you don't totally hate it.

Mitzimaybe · 05/10/2017 13:43

It's not an unreasonable request, for the reasons given by ShutUpBaz.

It always happens that people can't remember what they ordered - someone needs to have a list! At my wedding reception I put everyone's choice on the back of the place setting card.

Crimblewick · 05/10/2017 13:45

Firstly when I have to try to decide what I may feel like eating in a month's time

I find that easier than ordering breakfast the night before in a B&B.
Some mornings I'm ravenous and others don't really feel hungry till mid morning. Dinner, I'm always a bit peckish.

By ordering ahead, at least you know you'll have something you like.
The meal preparation can begin before you even get there. Otherwise, starting from scratch and preparing ingredients for 16 unknown yet meals is a right proper nightmare.
I don't mind at all choosing ahead of time.

ilovekitkats · 05/10/2017 13:49

It's fairly standard in the pubs/restaurants around here. It means that they can make sure that they have enough produce in for the meals. What if they only keep 10 steaks in the fridge at any one time and 16 people walk in and want steak?

It also helps them to prep stuff in advance that can be prepped, veg etc, rather than having to do it all at a moments notice.

RhiannonOHara · 05/10/2017 13:49

Just pick something you know you like. By the time it comes round it'll feel like a nice surprise.

People get a bit neurotic about 'Ooh but what if I don't fancy it then?' IMO. If it's something you like then you'll just eat it and like it.

onlyindreams · 05/10/2017 13:50

Yes i hate it. Last year we were going out for Bil's bday, ordered food two weeks in advance. On the night when the food was brought to the table someone had obviously forgotten what he'd ordered and took my dh's meal rather than whatever he was having. I can't remember what it was but my dh didn't want it, he wanted what he'd ordered.

In the end he got what he wanted but everyone else had finished theirs by the time he got it. Apart from that you don't know what you'll want till the actual night.

Ishouldbedoingsomething · 05/10/2017 13:50

I get the planning ahead from the restaurant - what annoys me is when they give you a choice of say three mains - surely with advance notice you should be able to choose from the whole of the main menu?

ShutUpBaz · 05/10/2017 13:52

In my pub you get the choice of the whole menu. I just want to make sure my guests get what they want and their event isn't ruined by food waits, unavaliability etc. I do understand how frustrating it is though.

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