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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect the woman in front of me at a classical concert to allow my seven year old one whisper before she starts hissing at him?

21 replies

Mamalennon · 08/04/2007 20:17

I need to rant. My older son joined a choir recently and before you know it he's singing in a prestigious concert, alongside an adult choir and full orchestra. Lots of rehearsals etc. Tonight was the concert. I settled down with my 7 year old son who whispered to me just after the start 'what seat number is your?' and the woman in front turned and literally hissed at him! It ruined the concert for me as I was on such tenterhooks about keeping him quiet..
I had a speech prepared for her but she got up and marched out at the interval without looking in my direction, DESPITE the fact that he sat like an angel throughout. I am SO ANGRY !!!!!

OP posts:
wheresthevalium · 08/04/2007 20:19

Oh my god! I would be furious too, so for you that you didn't get to give her a piece of your mind

derlor · 08/04/2007 20:20

no you are NOT being unreasonable - she is - you should have sneezed in her hair!!!

FrannyandZooey · 08/04/2007 20:22

Oh dear

silly woman

Well done your eldest though

Original poster
Mamalennon · 08/04/2007 20:57

Thank you for your support. So basically I sat through my son's stage debut a) fantasising about punching the woman in front of me and b)desperately hoping my other child would sit quietly.

And to top it all my DH kept nodding off during the quiet bits so he was no use to man nor beast!!

I'm off to drink some wine.

OP posts:
FairyEdwards · 08/04/2007 20:59

well she had paid for her ticket and probably thought your son would whisper through the whole thing when he did it at the very start. I think she was just making sure she was able to enjoy the music - and it worked.

You overreacted. Classical concerts are only appropiate for children if they don't spoil it for everyone else.

harpsichordcarrier · 08/04/2007 20:59

she sounds like a bitch

Gobbledigook · 08/04/2007 21:00

ROFL - please. One whisper. Miserable old bitch.

harpsichordcarrier · 08/04/2007 21:02

as if a small whispering boy could be heard over a full choir and orchestra
she needs to get a grip

children are v welcome at all my concerts, in fact they get in free

2cheekymonkeys · 08/04/2007 21:21

FairyEdward, i don't see how one little whisper is 'spoiling it for everyone else'. As it turned out that hissing old witch spoiled it for mamalennon and she had as much right to enjoy it as anyone else. it's sad that children aren't welcomed at 'grown-up' events in this country.

Nightynight · 08/04/2007 21:35

she was over reacting, I would not complain until a child started pulling my hair or similar!
he's a child for goodness sake, and I bet he wasnt the only one in the audience if there was a childrens choir singing.

elasticbandstand · 08/04/2007 22:19

perhaps she was at the concert i went to when mine was about 2 .. we had to leave after she wanted to dance to th e music..

pointydog · 08/04/2007 22:31

you've got to watch with the sort of clientele you get at classical concerts

RosaLuxembourg · 08/04/2007 22:37

I took my 9 and 7 year old to a classical concert recently. As far as I could see we were the only people in the audience aged under 70. We got plenty of suspicious looks from people near us before the lights went down but they sat like angels throughout the entire concert and did not contribute in any way to the symphony of sweet unwrapping and not so sotto voce whispering that came from the OAPS all around. And while I am on the subject, if my seven year old can manage to sit through a concert without requiring sustenance in the form of boiled sweets, what is it with the rest of the audience? Do they come to concerts specifically to tuck into Fox's Glacier Fruits or what? Are they not allowed them at home do you think?

Original poster
Mamalennon · 09/04/2007 09:27

FairyEdwards - you are absolutely right that she had paid for her ticket. I had also paid for my family's tickets. You could also say that her approached worked - he did sit quietly. What I really objected to though was the fact that because it was a CHILD who whispered, she felt immediately entitled to hiss at him. It was unpleasant and unnecessary.

OP posts:
groovygranny · 09/04/2007 09:44

How are children expected to learn how to enjoy live music and how we, here in the UK, expect people to behave at classical concerts unless we take them with us. I hate the way we Brits as a nation treat children as a 'nuisance' and indeed expect that they will behave badly.
My husband is a classical pianist (well, a jazz one too as it happens) and he is really happy if he can hear a buzz of children in the audience. Now, of course, if we were in, say, Indonesia, we would all be having meals and converstaions during a classical gamelan concert.
Now, don't get me started about people (adults)'quietly' opening sweet wrappers at concerts/plays/the cinema!

islandofsodor · 11/04/2007 22:35

I used to steward at CBSO concerts. It was expected that you would be absolutely SILENT throughout. Subscribers (my oh my are they a breed apart) would glare daggers at anyone who dared to breathe noisily.
No-one was allowed to enter the auditorium after the concert had started and as for clapping between movements eeek!

Seriously, it is expected at classical concerts (unless they are designated family conerts that there is absolute silence and regulars would expect any children attending to have been told this. The acoustics in the particular concert hall I worked in were such that you could hear a pin drop on stage from the highest balcony, a child whispering would certainly be heard by several patrons surrounding him. I have sung there myself in a choir and you can distictly hear individual voices, if the hall had similar acoustics they had a point.

I have seen far worse in my time so just chalk it up to experience.

islandofsodor · 11/04/2007 22:37

Rosa, all sweets (except one brand of cough sweet with special rustle free paper wrapping are banned in the hall I worked at. (Yes I was the one standing at the door telling people they could not take their sweets/ice creams/drinks in!!!!!)

handlemecarefully · 11/04/2007 22:38

I'd have lamped her one...

well perhaps only in my fevered imagination

What a rancid cow!

fionap19 · 22/04/2007 02:19

She over reacted. If people don't take their kids to concerts, theatre, opera and so on how on earth will they ever learn the ettiquette of it all? Eg that you need to stay pretty quiet and not spoil it for others....you only learn that by example!
One whisper is certainly forgiveable. I could understand more if he was going on and on all through but from what you say that is not the case!
I am a trained teacher, I have three sons...I think more kids should go to these things, we need to be tolerant and allow them to be educated! I take mine, they are 13, 10 and 5....

You keep taking him.....Forget about one silly person trying to put you off...
Oh yes congrats to your other son! How exciting! I was at a concert recently with my 13 year old (In Bristol) and I actually got excitied because the people round me obviously had family and or friends in the choirs! We got chatting before the concert and I enjoyed "almost knowing" someone on stage! LOL

Good luck for again and dont be put off! you're doing all the right things...

Fiona

newgirl · 22/04/2007 13:16

i would have seethed too! i think you did really well not to take it further and upset your younger one - very grown up of you - i might have tripped her over later in the ladies though!!

singingmum · 22/04/2007 13:21

Classical concerts are for all no matter what age.The older watchers often have phones ringing and papers rustling.She should have kept her mouth shut and just been glad that you were there encouraging your child to enjoy something that these days not a lot of children are exposed to.
It's better than only pop music etc.Have recently been encouraging my cousin to expose her DC's to something other than rap etc. about 'booty' or their'woman'amngst other colourful sayings
I don't blame you for being angry

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