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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Liars

9 replies

Trontrouble · 24/09/2017 18:31

Why do people feel the need to lie?

I hate nothing more than being lied to, and one friend seems to be a compulsive liar and I can't understand why.
You see instances of people lying all the time, from white lies to great big whoppers and it seems more often than not the truth will come out anyway. So why do it?

OP posts:
MrsMHasIt · 24/09/2017 18:33

Aibu?

Angelicinnocent · 24/09/2017 18:55

Some white lies are necessary for society to work, we always say how lovely to see you, not oh god I thought I'd avoided you etc but proper lies are different and pointless. It's people trying to make themselves look better probably or the centre of attention. Have to agree though that they get found out.

Flossy1978 · 24/09/2017 19:00

Go to Finland. They will happily tell you the truth in all cases. Of course thrre are liars there, but their culture is well known for honesty, even if it hurts your feelings. It can be quite hard to take if younare a sensitive soul.

Phosphorus · 24/09/2017 19:05

You can't think why anyone would lie?

Are all of your interactions and relationships desperately shallow?

Do you have no empathy or understanding at all?

Userlavender · 24/09/2017 19:06

Google the human condition. Or something along those lines, to help you understand.

Aderyn17 · 24/09/2017 19:15

I think some people do it because they can't be bothered to deal with anything awkward, that makes their lives harder. It is a sign of arrogance and entitlement - that they are more important and therefore don't have to be respectful to you.

Little white lies are different though, if they are to spare feelings and maintain social niceties.

Trontrouble · 24/09/2017 19:23

I understand emphatic lies. I don't understand completely pointless lies like saying the shop ran out of something when actually you forgot it or like, yes I paid the gas bill, then a letter comes through saying it wasn't paid.
Then there is the whopping lies where people lie about things such a pregnacy, deaths etc.
I do not think I'm desperately shallow to find lies,in the context of being deceptive and possibly hurtful, wrong. It seems like a rather pointless endeavor that leads to trouble once found out

OP posts:
Aderyn17 · 24/09/2017 19:29

It's basically because they couldn't be arsed to pay the bill and don't want to get any grief for it. They intend to get around to it in their own good time, before you find out they lied, but because they don't intrinsically value the task (hence not doing it the first place), they forget about it and then you get a letter saying the gas bill wasn't paid.

Aderyn17 · 24/09/2017 19:30

Big lies are about manipulating people. They think the lie will get them something and wouldn't otherwise get by being truthful.

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