To think it's always men that do this? How do you handle it?

[Horriblehistories]

Has anyone ever noticed when you're in a queue, and you get a man come up behind you and stand so close he's breathing down your neck? Then every time you shuffle forward he gets even closer?

Yesterday I was at my sons football practice, I was sitting on the end of the bench when one of the parents/grandparents came to collect his child. He came and stood right behind me, he was so close that his crotch was nearly touching my head, in fact if I moved my head my pony tail was brushing against his trousers.

There was loads of space and loads of other places to stand so why did he stand so close? I wanted to move but why should I? I couldn't exactly cause a scene and tell him to move.

Oh and then there's the ones who brush past you and 'accidentally' brush their hand across your bum.

How do you all handle these type of situations.

Hi could you back up pls your bit close

How is "Excuse me, can you stand back a bit please" 'causing a scene'?

I find women, usually elderly ones, bad for this!

You can either use the direct approach "back off a bit you are very close" as rudely or politely as you think will work.
Or you can try the indirect approach.
Sharp elbows, stepping back suddenly onto his toes (best when wearing killer heals) an aggresive handbag swung into his balls.
Which you use depends on how confrontational you want to be.
Personally I find this sort of male space hogging very annoying and often threatening.

I find it's older people do this. I hate it when I'm trying to pack at the checkout and they come and stand right up next to me. They get the death stare and this usually makes them step back a bit.

step back hard on his toes, ideally when wearing heels. DO NOT APOLOGISE. Then say I had no idea that anyone would need to stand so close with all this empty space around. Practice a bit.

YY Pandora, always old women!

I had this in a queue. Every time I moved forward, he moved forward until his clothing was brushing my clothing. Eventually, I turned around and said firmly "Could you not stand so close to me, please?" He looked shocked ("The woman! It is speaking to me!") but he took a step back. Problem solved.

The thing is, we are conditioned not to speak up and just to sort of hope the other person intuits our discomfort and changes their behaviour. This pressure operates on women at home, at work, in relationships, in public spaces - basically EVERYWHERE.

So we need to stop hoping people will magically notice how we're feeling and care about it and start sorting it out.

Women have done this to me too. I just ask them to move!

If they don't, then there's sometimes an unscheduled swish of the hair that might accidentally go in their face, or even hitching my handbag back onto my shoulder that might possibly result in a bit of a flying elbow.

This is the sad reality that all women have faced this. I was telling my husband recently when we saw a video of a woman on a bus with spikes on her shorts. It was funny but tainted with a deep sadness that this is the length one woman had gone to. He didn't believe that this is so common for women. Now I'm tougher, I turn and stare at them. In the bench situation I would have reached behind me to adjust my ponytail and given his crotch a shove at the same time, to let him know that I did not want him rubbing it against my head, if that didn't work i would have turned my head and asked him to kindly get his crotch out of my face.

I usually find it's women. People get so fixated on moving forwards in a queue that they lose all sense of personal space.

I usually passive-aggressively glare or mutter, or take a big step away (if room)

I swing my bag round because I usually carry a rucksack! they make a satisfactory "ooof" when it hits them. I turn round with a big smile and say "sorree"

In that situation OP, I would have turned around and asked, 'why are you standing so close to me?'

I'm not particularly 'bold' but I'm far less tolerant of this kind of thing as I get older. Don't apologise for the fact that he made you feel uncomfortable.

I agree it's both genders - and not just old people! And I think it's due to impatience and trying to hurry you up. The same way people tailgate in cars. I hate it but haven't been brave enough to actually say anything yet. Although I tend to put my bag behind me to act as a buffer if they get really close.

The last time happened to me it was a youngish woman. Obviously I was not moving fast enough in the queue - or maybe she thought I would let her go in front of me.

I tend to use my elbows or handbag and then when they bang into either and look at me as if I’ve done something wrong I ignore them but I’m now wondering why I don’t just say something to them.

I step back into them! If it's on the tube and they're pressing against me unnecessarily, I lean back with my full weight so they have to step away. I think of it as guarding my personal space. Same with men who spread their legs on the train, I put my leg firmly on the boundary of my space and they usually move theirs, to save the awkwardness of our legs being pressed together.

If seated in the situation you describe, I would keep tilting my head back and flick my hair until he got irritated and moved back.

I don't think crowding is always sexual, more territorial or thoughtless.

I do the same winter.
Same with people (often men) that take up the whole space/armrest in the train.

Wortha saying that I was sat next to a lovely man on the train yesterday who was clearly careful not to encroach on my space (hard to do for him too as had very broad shoulders). So I was also extra careful too.

I do think that people continue BECAUSE no one is saying anything.
I also suspect that none of them (man or woman)do that to a man....

Well timed fart
But yes I've noticed this, bus queues, men and women actually. I usually hang back and get on last so as not to have some randomer peering over my shoulder and standing on my heels!

YY Pandora, always old women!

I find it's younger women and men, usually staring at phones, oblivious to all around them!

I hate supermarkets for this reason. I usually get someone pushing their trolley into my bum at the checkout, as if to push me forward faster, when actually there's someone in front of me so I can't move. I just shove their trolley back with my bum, and, if necessary lean over my trolley handle with my bum quite far back as a buffer. Bastards.

I once was paying in a supermarket when a youngish very tall, very broad man was right up at my shoulder when I was about to put my pin in, no idea if he was trying to see it or just oblivious so I asked him to move back. He looked blank, I realised he must not speak English so I pointed back. He looked behind him, but didn't move, so I kind of waved my arms/clapped in a way that you would if you were trying to move unruly sheep off a road. Poor thing went bright red, apologised and scuttled all the way to the other end of the conveyor belt where his friends pissed themselves laughing at him. Stil not sure whether I foiled a scam or humiliated a daydreaming foreigner