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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Rude passive aggressive man at swimming today. Wibu?

24 replies

GingerBiscuitsTea · 13/09/2017 18:24

Today at swimming once again I saw bags and coats spread out over tables and chairs with the swimming bag straps wrapped around them so no one took them. You may wait 10-20 mins with no one appearing to claim them.

Often I've had to sit on the floor with my dd(3), but today I moved the coats over and grabbed two empty seats over to table and left the chairs with bags on them there. As I was sitting a couple came and asked me if they could take the chairs, I told them I don't know who was sitting there, so they just took them anyway (rightly so imo)

About 15 mins later a man comes and plonks his son on the table and starts huffing and puffing:

"doesn't take long does it. Doesn't take long does it?" to his son. Then he starts saying to me loudly "it doesn't take long does it?! We were sitting here, I only went to get him!". I told him the seats weren't reserved and if there's no place to sit people will sit wherever is available. He kept going on at me saying it's all about manners and that I had none, so I told him to go and take it up with the receptionist if he's that bothered and that the seats weren't reserved so I can sit wherever I want. Then he started telling his kid loudly:
"We'll have to sit on the floor now, cos apparently these seats aren't reserved, sad isn't it?!"
To which I replied "stop being so passive aggressive and using your child like that, if yoU have a problem talk to the receptionist". And then I don't know why I started laughing at his pettiness and rudeness.

I hate it when people take seats like this. Surely you use the seats once you're ready to sit down, not hog them. I'd never leave my things on a chair to claim it. It's such a pathetic childish thing to do.

OP posts:
ChoudeBruxelles · 13/09/2017 18:26

Good for you

EEandEmakes3 · 13/09/2017 18:26

Well done!

GingerBiscuitsTea · 13/09/2017 18:29

Thanks!

OP posts:
Fekko · 13/09/2017 18:31

I'm glad you had a chuckle!

Slartybartfast · 13/09/2017 18:31

Very well said

HerOtherHalf · 13/09/2017 18:33

Of vourse you weren't. He's a tosser and i bet if you had been a bloke he'd have said absolutely nothing.

onalongsabbatical · 13/09/2017 18:33

Love it that you laughed! You handled it perfectly, IMHO. Star

CaptainHammer · 13/09/2017 18:35

Well done OP!

SpottedGingham · 13/09/2017 18:41

Hmm yes that's exactly what happened.

Maryof1993 · 13/09/2017 18:42

Hahahaha! Laughing at people winds them up even more!

GingerBiscuitsTea · 13/09/2017 18:43

Thank you everyone! What I found funny was that he was telling me I had no manners, when he was going on and on like a twat.

I also had a massive smile on my face when I got up and left to get my kids. He was standing behind me telling people how he hates going there because it's busy, hot, with rude people. I just sat there doing some loud parenting with dd whilst she did drawings.

OP posts:
WinditupSlowitdown · 13/09/2017 18:51

I don't know... depends how long you know for certain he wasn't there.

KERALA1 · 13/09/2017 18:52

Well done op.

Thicko has a weird definition of what manners are.

McButtonwillow · 13/09/2017 18:55

Oh this drives me mad at our pool, loads of people claim tables and chairs by draping their stuff over them, disappearing and leaving the rest of us polite people standing around like lemons.

Sounds like you handled him perfectly op.

ChelleDawg2020 · 13/09/2017 19:02

Good for you. I hate people like that. If you want to reserve seats, go somewhere where you are allowed to reserve them!

It reminds me of when I used to have to use the launderette. People would often wash their clothes at home but bring them in to use the dryers, meaning there was always a queue to dry your clothes. But people would just put their drying in, then wander off home / to the pub while the machine spun round. If you "dared" to take the drying out once the cycle had finished, you often got abuse when the person deigned to come back because "their washing was in the machine and they were going to come back to put another 50p in."

GingerBiscuitsTea · 14/09/2017 10:16

Tbh I would never have said anything back to him or even sat on the table 4/5 years ago. Maybe a mixture of being older now and MN has really given me the confidence to be assertive but calm in these situations.

I don't know... depends how long you know for certain he wasn't there
Well we came in at 16:20ish and he wasn't at the table. I sat down at 16:30ish and he came along at about 16:45, so he was gone more than 25mins. You can't hog a table for that long if you're not even using it.

OP posts:
5rivers7hills · 14/09/2017 10:59

You were perfect. He was a twat.

SusannahL · 14/09/2017 12:39

Well done op! You were quite right.

On holiday once there was a notice in the ship's theatre saying that the only way to reserve a seat was to sit on it!

Good for you for speaking up!

shirtyQwerty · 14/09/2017 13:09

Why are you so pleased that you annoyed someone and then laughed in their face and smirked?

Do you want a pat on the head, a gold star or a Biscuit?

From the sound of it, MN has done nothing other than teach you how to be rude to other people but the problem is is that the anonymity and race to the bottom of AIBU has genuine repercussions in real life.

Fekko · 14/09/2017 16:25

He was being an arse though. It's not like the op went out of her way to piss him off intentionally (unlike some people around here).

alltouchedout · 14/09/2017 16:28

You laughed at him? That was unnecessary.
But ywnbu to take the seats.

KarateKitten · 14/09/2017 16:36

I think 5mins is the max you can leave a coat to hold a seat. Long enough to leg it and change a dirty nappy or go to the loo or drop a towel down to a child. So OP, you were dead right.

ShakeShakeTheMuffin · 14/09/2017 16:37

OP laughed at the way he reacted. Think I'd have done the same. Once on holiday I saw some towels laid out on sunloungers at 2am and chucked them in the pool.

ForalltheSaints · 14/09/2017 16:41

Chairs are for sitting on, not for bags. I agree with the OP. Sad that the child has a dad like his.

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