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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask, if you had started having sex (consensual) at a very young age, how do you feel about it now?

213 replies

BaDumShh · 03/09/2017 20:06

This is something I've thought about a few times, and the idea for this thread has just been inspired by another thread from a mner who was horrified to hear her 12 year old DD's friends talking about having sex.

Me and my friends didn't start having sex until the ages of around 16-18, but I remember there were quite a few kids in my school who were very open about the fact that they were having sex from year 7/8, so around 12-13 years old.

I've always wondered how those people feel about that now they are in adulthood. Do they regret having sex so young? Did they even enjoy it or want to do it? Or did they feel they had to in order to be popular?

So, anyone on here who was willingly having sex, say, under the age of 15...how do you feel about it now?

OP posts:
donajimena · 03/09/2017 20:08

Not many people I knew did under the age of 16 so no help from me

Binkybix · 03/09/2017 20:08

Feel fine about my choice still.

Llanali · 03/09/2017 20:10

Answering on behalf of my husband, with his permission!

He started age 13 with his 15 year old girlfriend.

He feels fairly ambiguous about it these days, and hasn't ever really regretted it, but also accepts he didn't enjoy it too much- mainly because neither of them had a clue what they were doing and they were usually sneaking around to do it!

He'd be disappointed if our D.C. Started so young because it opens them up to so much risk, but since nothing bad happened to him he can't really regret it as such, but he doesn't recall it with any fondness until a particular long term partner when he was about 16.

Neverknowing · 03/09/2017 20:11

I lost my virginity at 15 so not super young (almost 16) but I sort of wish there was less pressure on women. Everyone said I would feel different after and it was a massive deal so I felt a bit like a failure when I felt exactly the same after.

LEMtheoriginal · 03/09/2017 20:15

My first sexual experience was at 12yo with a much older man. I thought I was so grown up -my dd2 is 12. It makes me sick to my stomach and I'm sure plays not a small part in my delicate mental health.

I can see it now - this man was a paedophile but I was "in love" with him until I was about 19. He stole my childhood

scrabbler3 · 03/09/2017 20:15

My mate was 14 (boyfriend just turned 15) and they're still friends 30 years later. She has no regrets. They loved each other and stayed together until they went to separate universities.

HighwayDragon1 · 03/09/2017 20:15

I was just 14 and don't really feel anything about it. I wanted sex so I had it.

x2boys · 03/09/2017 20:16

Do you think they were having sex though or just saying they were? I was 18 before I had sex and I was 15 before I properly kissed anyone I was probably later then average but not so old.

BillywigSting · 03/09/2017 20:16

I was 13 and don't regret doing it with the boy I lost it too.

I do regret a couple of the other people I slept with underage though. I thought it was consensual at the time but with hindsight it was pretty coercive.

So, ambivalent I suppose.

Pizzaexpressreview · 03/09/2017 20:17

I was 21 !! So have often wondered about this when advising my children in the future.

user1490607838 · 03/09/2017 20:18

I was 19 when I first had sex.

I was still playing with dolls at 12. Blush

I led a sheltered life.

Babyblues14 · 03/09/2017 20:19

I was 14 but I waited 6 months with my bf before we did anything. I wanted to be sure he was the right person to lose it to. Don't regret it, even though he turned out to be a knob in the endGrin

StiginaGrump · 03/09/2017 20:22

I had tons of great uninhibited sex - it was enormous fun but I had a great relationship and was very physically ready/aware of my own wants. No regrets - only that I am no longer living in that great body.

StarkintheSouth · 03/09/2017 20:22

I had a 13 yo friend who got engaged to a 30 yo man. They were together a couple years then split. She was very young looking for her age, petite and childlike. She went off the rails for a long time but has now settled down with a family. We lost touch but are on good terms (occasional comment on FB) and I often wonder the impact that man had. He was a creep.
I lost mine fairly late 16/17 compared to my friends and tbh I'm kind of meh about it. I don't look on it with overt fondness but it wasn't traumatic. I hope for better for my DD though.

Sofabitch · 03/09/2017 20:23

At the time i would have sworn it was 100% consensual and loved the attention. But now i see i had low self esteem and was probably extremely vunerable.

Regret... no it is part of what shaped me.

Winosaurus · 03/09/2017 20:24

I was 14 and was "in love" with my 16 year old bf. We dated for 2 years. No regrets, I'm glad it happened with him and the way it did rather than drunk at a house party like most of my friends did

ForeverLivingMyArse · 03/09/2017 20:24

I had sex at 14 and carried on having sex. Looking back where it was with boys around my age I feel fine about it. In fact the only thing that I look back with concern was from when I was 16. The internet was just in its early days, I had unsupervised access and was, what I know now to be, groomed, by a much older man. He'd persuade me to strip off on cam, send him pictures and arrange to meet up. He'd freak me out by finding out my parents names and address and threaten to tell them. I was obsessed and it was wrong. He was 36.

There was another precarious situation involving a party, too much booze and 2 guys chancing their luck when I was out of it when I was 17.

Nuttynoo · 03/09/2017 20:25

I don't have any regrets.

Spidergirl999 · 03/09/2017 20:27

My BF and I were 14. We'd been together around 6 months.

I honestly don't feel anything. No regrets

Not sure how I'd feel if my daughter lost her virginity at 14!

It would massively depend on the circumstance I suppose. We were in a happy, consensual relationship and are still friends to this day (35 now)

Lethaldrizzle · 03/09/2017 20:27

So all the early sex no regretters , just out of interest, are you comfortable with your own daughters having sex so young?

Original poster
BaDumShh · 03/09/2017 20:30

There was a girl in my class who at 13 was dating a 19 year old, and sleeping with him. At the time we all thought it was pretty cool but looking back it's very grim Hmm

OP posts:
LetDownFedUp · 03/09/2017 20:30

I was 14 when I first had sex with my bf who was a year older. It was fine, we had been together for several month and spoke about it beforehand.

Funny thing is he recently got in touch as his dd is 13 and he was saying how horrified he is thinking back that I was only a year older than her.

LetDownFedUp · 03/09/2017 20:31

My best friend lost her virginity at 12 to the bus driver who took us on a school trip. At the time we thought she was so cool but now I look back I just think wtf, that poor girl.

ForeverLivingMyArse · 03/09/2017 20:32

LetDown that's horrific!

Original poster
BaDumShh · 03/09/2017 20:35

letdown, foreverliving and starkinthesouth those stories make me feel queasy. Definitely some peadophilia going on there.

OP posts:
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