To ask, if you had started having sex (consensual) at a very young age, how do you feel about it now?

[BaDumShh]

This is something I've thought about a few times, and the idea for this thread has just been inspired by another thread from a mner who was horrified to hear her 12 year old DD's friends talking about having sex.

Me and my friends didn't start having sex until the ages of around 16-18, but I remember there were quite a few kids in my school who were very open about the fact that they were having sex from year 7/8, so around 12-13 years old.

I've always wondered how those people feel about that now they are in adulthood. Do they regret having sex so young? Did they even enjoy it or want to do it? Or did they feel they had to in order to be popular?

So, anyone on here who was willingly having sex, say, under the age of 15...how do you feel about it now?

I was a month off being 16, recently broken up with my first long term bf. Started seeing this guy who I was infatuated with, he was 19/20 with a car. He was on the edges of the group of friends I used to hang out with, sometimes he'd be there and sometimes not.

We dtd in his car in a car park, it was quick and horrible. And hurt. Then he dumped me, well as this was before the age of phones, just never contacted me again. I saw him 2 weeks later with someone else.
I found out afterwards from a mutual 'friend' that his 'hobby' was going out with young girls and taking their virginity. Bastard.
Then he told the friendship group and the local ones who went to my school took the piss for the next 3 years.

Wow that feels good to get that out. It was over 30 years ago.

My DD is just 15 and very sensible. We have a totally different relationship to the one I had with my own DM at that age. She talks to me about everything. I'd like to think she would talk to me about sex before actually doing anything.

I'd just turned 14. It was fun. No regrets.

13, did it to be liked and because I was lonely. Also had very weird relationship with my father which didn't help. Totally regret it all, regret not saying something earlier, not being stronger, not being someone who was able to make friends, for not being able to fit in, regret all of it really.

I was 16, doing my GCSEs, he was 32. It took me years to realise that I was groomed.

I was 15, long term boyfriend. No regrets but later on at 17/18 there are definitely times I regret (not with long term bf)

I was 14, he was a year older. We weren't really boyfriend and girlfriend, we were just good friends. And we are still friends over 30 years later. I would not have been that worried if my daughter was sexually active if it was in similar circumstances. We respected each other and were kind and caring.

I made it to 16 so not at all young and I thought I was wise. Looking back it was messed up. I was groomed from being about 13. He'd waited until I was "legal and ready to make a mature decision" to sleep with him.

The sex was crap as you'd expect but I don't regret that. I do regret the other people who were hurt by his game and the part I played. The whole thing still makes me sad now when I think about it.

I don't think it's about age, it's about choice and understanding the implications of the choices we're making. Made freely there is no real reason for regret.

I was young and whilst it was sex, it was more, you've got that, I've got this, what's the fuss. You could say it's better to save yourself for the one, I don't feel overly bad about it.

I remember not knowing boys ejaculated and me thinking I'd done some kind of damage to the lad. That was rather embarrassing, I'm sure he laughs about it like I do. Oh the naivety.

I look at things I would have done differently as lessons because you learn from them. Possibly even say to DC I want you to be open with me about sex, as I'd rather them not risk unwanted pregnancy or diseases.

In my era, condoms & the pill were all about not getting pregnant. That seemed to be the emphasis. Not that some guy/girl could have infected bits which leads to the clinic of shame.

It's not just in your youth you sleep with people & think why after. Isn't that the basis for most reality tv shows?

I was one of the last in my friendship group to lose it. My best friend was the only girl who lost hers after me but some of our male friends still have their v card at 25 (fair play to them). I was 17. I did it to get it over with as there was a lot of pressure in our group. I'd endured two years of grief because I hadn't slept with any one yet. Quite a few of my friends had started around the age of 11 or 12 which horrified me then and horrifies me even more now.
As for my children, I hope they are old enough to understand what they are doing and are doing it because they want to not because they feel they have to. I hope it's totally consensual and with a peer. Although I'd prefer not to think about it at all 😂

A girl in my class at school had a baby when she was 15, by a 21 year old. She brought the baby back to our class for a visit after it was born and the boyfriend came too. That was the early 90s. I hope that, today, if a grown man wanted to visit a school classroom with the underage pupil he'd knocked up, the school authorities would have barred him on the grounds he was clearly a paedophile!

DP was 14 and doesn't regret it. I was in my 20s and wish I hadn't waited so long, I regret the way I lost it though because it was just a "FFS let's get this over with" experience but at the same time I'm glad I didn't wait even longer.

There is no such thing as consensual sex for a 12 year old.

Children are below the age of consent.

All child sex is rape is assault.

I had sex at 14 I slightly regret it but it doesn't keep me awake at night . I didn't have much confidence as a teenager and I think it was a way for me to get attention although now I know that wasn't the way to get it .

I was 15, he was 17. He was an utter shit and clearly enjoyed 'popping my cherry' as he called it. There was a lot of pain and blood but I thought it was normal. He showed a complete lack of regard for my wellbeing - it was all about him and his needs. For the next three years we had an on/off relationship where he would manipulate me into trying sexually adventurous acts which I was not comfortable with, but I was co-erced and wanted to please him. It makes me feel very sad for my younger self.

I thought he was very cool and sophisticated, but looking back he was a very odd person who had no friends his own age. He always hung out with those who were younger than him.

My mum and I did not get on when I was in my teens. Looking back, we were both struggling with the adjustment, she had never parented a teenager before and wanted to protect me, but I saw it as overbearing and controlling. Therefore we had no discussions about sex or relationships. We are very close now and I love her dearly, but the experience has made me determined to be open with my future children and communicate with them about healthy relationships, what is normal and what isn't.

For what it's worth, I have a wonderful partner of eight and a half years who is my best friend and my rock. I have had mental health issues in the recent past - some of which have stirred up memories from my teenage years that I had purposefully buried - and he has been a wonderful support.

It makes me feel so sad reading this thread, it seems a lot of people were manipulated at a very young age

I was 14. It was planned, he was 14 too. I have fond memories of it, it was terrible and cringy but also sweet. I never regretted it, he turned into a bit of a twat but no more so than the next rampant teen. I didn't bother again until I was about 17/18 so it didn't turn me into a raging sex machine. I was quite promiscuous in my 20s but reasonably happy about it, always searching for 'the one' and probably not very respectful of myself but I guess that's what you do at that age. Now I'm married with small kids we hardly ever get the chance for a shag so I'm quite glad I got some action in when I could.

I was 14, he was 15. We had been together for 5 months and waited for the right time. We were together for a year in the end. He was very sweet. We were young, sure, but I don't regret it.

I had seed at 14, I have no feelings about it now. I wanted to do it, I did and here we are 22 years later and it never enters my thoughts

Whilst it is sad and rather worrying to hear how many were co-erced into it, it is also interesting to hear that a lot of people did it to find out what it was like or did it because they really wanted to and they enjoyed it and some stayed with their partners.

I had quite a lot of non-penetrative sex at 16 - and was definitely pressurized. I would have loved it if the boy had been nicer but he wasn't. I thought any boyfriend was better than none and my self esteem was very low so I thought I had to make do with what I could get. Had full PIV sex late at 18 with the same man, ( who had left me at 16 but we got back together two years later). I was desperate to get it out of the way. I felt it was late, felt it was something I needed to know about, was worried that I never would if I didn't get on with it.

It does leave a slightly grimy feeling but I don't regret it. Had good sex at 23 with a lovely man and I was on my way!!!

I was 14, drunk at a party with a boy I never saw again. I don't regret it but nor would I advise it. I think your attitudes towards sex are shaped far earlier than when you actually have sex. For me, I was a year younger than everyone at school and I just wanted rid of my virginity, like it was holding me back in some way. I never equated the act with being in love but rather as an outward show that at least someone wanted me for something. I thought I was a horrid person so having sex showed be that I couldn't be that bad. Fucked up? Probably.

I don't regret it because the person who made that drunken decision was a very sad and lost girl and who am I to judge her.

I was fairly promiscuous until my mid-20's, I had lots of fun and lots of heartbreak. It wasn't until my late 20's that I finally made peace with myself.

Blimey, quite surprised at this thread. Of my social group (mixed sex) of around 16 that hung around together a helluva lot both at school and after school and were still regularly meeting up during the uni years, only one girl and one boy had sex under the age of 16. We're all 42-43 now. Most of us lost our virginity between 18-19 but some of the guys not until their early 20s.

14. No regrets at all. He was 16, was a nice lad, I was very much in love and while the sex wasn't that great it was fun. We're still very vaguely in touch via FB 20 years later, and have only good feelings.

I think I actually have more complicated feelings about the twenty something I dated at 16. Teenagers experimenting together is normal, though, I think.

I also think there's a very big difference between 12, 13, 14, 15 and 16, and it's so variable between different people. You change and grow up so much in those years.

I was 18 but I wouldn't have it any other way.

I always wanted to wait to do it with someone that I loved. DP was the same age and also hadn't done it, so to me, it was special and I definitely have no regrets.

Although, you can lose it at a later age and still be lax about contraception. I say this at 20 feeding my DD. I kid

I was 14 and it was with a boyfriend who I'd been with for 6ish months I think. I'm now 30 odd and don't regret it as it was right for both of us and we really did care for each other.