To ask, if you had started having sex (consensual) at a very young age, how do you feel about it now?

[BaDumShh]

This is something I've thought about a few times, and the idea for this thread has just been inspired by another thread from a mner who was horrified to hear her 12 year old DD's friends talking about having sex.

Me and my friends didn't start having sex until the ages of around 16-18, but I remember there were quite a few kids in my school who were very open about the fact that they were having sex from year 7/8, so around 12-13 years old.

I've always wondered how those people feel about that now they are in adulthood. Do they regret having sex so young? Did they even enjoy it or want to do it? Or did they feel they had to in order to be popular?

So, anyone on here who was willingly having sex, say, under the age of 15...how do you feel about it now?

Theycalledmethewildrose - so how exactly do you plan on stopping your children having any kind of sexual experience before the age of 18? Keep them locked in the house and ensure they are only allowed out for school?

I'm not exactly pro-teen sex, but I think it's basically inevitable and it's far far better to make sure they have the tools to ensure that experimentation is safe, consensual and positive, and they don't end up pregnant, or catching an STD, or being abused because they have no understanding of how desire, and consent and healthy boundaries work.

In much the same way I don't think it's exactly sensible to put a lock on your fridge and only let your teens eat quinoa and carrots, spooned out carefully onto their plate once a day by mum, or it's a good idea to pick their GCSE and A level choices for them and make them do their homework under adult supervision every night. At some point you have to accept that parenting teens involves the parent not being entirely in control anymore.

I was 13 and that upsets me greatly. Things at home were unhappy, I was left to my own devices. I lived in a sleepy village surrounded by corn fields and all my peers smoked, got served alcohol in the off licence and had sex.

Very, very sad.

Of course I can't prevent it but I can maybe teach them it isn't okay to do whatever they want whenever they want especially when they are emotionally immature and it is my job to do my best to teach them to wait until they are at least no longer in school.

I was 14 with boyfriend of same age, 35 years later, still friends, still love each other, no regrets.

Well, I'd be upset and horrified to discover my 14 year old was having sex (very little chance - she looks 11, hasn't started her periods and appears to have 0 interest in relationships, sexual or otherwise).

BUT - I didn't lose my virginity till my 19th birthday - the 'relationship' lasted for a week and I was pregnant by the end of it. My daughter was born at the end of my 4th term at university and her sister was born 4.5 years later as a result of an aborted attempt to reconnect with their father in his home country where he raped me. I've never had a long term relationship and don't even know who the father of my youngest is (drunken one night stand).

So not having sex for almost all my teen years didn't exactly lead me into a healthy and mature adult sex life!!

Therefore, I try to avoid any instinctive assumptions about those who have sex at 13 or 14.

its just there is a lot of condemnation of men having sex with underage girls in general, as it is illegal, and they go to prison for it, yet on here everyone seems to be doing it without any regrets! i find it hard to marry the two sides together - i'm not judging, just confused - no wonder men get confused

Reading this, there seem to be fewer regrets from posters whose boyfriends were the same age as them. The problems seem to arise when the other party was 18+.

I would very much agree. I think I said this in my first post. I have zero regrets about having loving sex with another teen aged 14. I have significantly more regrets and complex feelings about having sex with someone much older at the age of 16, even if that was legal.

Personally I'd like to see a system similar to some other countries where the age of consent is maybe 14, as long as your partner is less than 4 years older than you, and then 17 or 18 otherwise. So we are realistic about teen romance happening but reject more predatory older men.

lower the age of consent, god no! then 12 and 13 year olds would be nearly legal!

I was 13 and the boy (who still lives three doors down from my parents! Now with his wife and child) was 14. I don't regret it at all but I didn't enjoy it. It was very mechanical and... quiet.

I didn't have good sex until I was 17.

lost at 19 /20 to my partner , still with now married with one DC. Only had one partner.

Had fun when was younger but mainly kissing and feeling, was quite inocent. i got called a whore/slag at school for being a virgin,. who knew aye. All the popluar kids had sex from age 12 onwards, I dated someone who i later found out was all for a bet to see if he could take my virginity. Men like it when you are a virgin it would seem. I met someone who made me realise sex is a decision you both make and consent is important. Have no regrets glad i had my own morals and didnt give into sociol pressure, I will try to be open with my daughter and teach her about GOOD sex and Consent. nothing wrong with having sex even if she is young teen however she needs to enjoy it/consent i worry that amount of porn readily available there are a lot of young girls havig horrid sex and being pressured to do horrible acts to please the man, its all about the man isnt it,., I also learnt from my friends expereinces which made me cling on to my V card and make sure it was wasted on some idiot.!!!!!!!!!