To ask, if you had started having sex (consensual) at a very young age, how do you feel about it now?

[BaDumShh]

This is something I've thought about a few times, and the idea for this thread has just been inspired by another thread from a mner who was horrified to hear her 12 year old DD's friends talking about having sex.

Me and my friends didn't start having sex until the ages of around 16-18, but I remember there were quite a few kids in my school who were very open about the fact that they were having sex from year 7/8, so around 12-13 years old.

I've always wondered how those people feel about that now they are in adulthood. Do they regret having sex so young? Did they even enjoy it or want to do it? Or did they feel they had to in order to be popular?

So, anyone on here who was willingly having sex, say, under the age of 15...how do you feel about it now?

I wasn't 'very' young but was the first in my group of friends at age 14 (not something worth bragging about). He was a nice lad but we rushed it and were very much just going through the "pretending to be in a grown up relationship" phase.

I only regret it because shortly after we broke up he started dating someone else in our friendship group and they are still together now and married with 3 kids. I knew she liked him when I got with him. If I hadn't gotten involved, they would have been the only person the other had been with.

I then had another boyfriend from age 15 to 16 who I was sleeping with. Fuck knows why and I massively regret it and we were just kids. After we split up I made a conscious decision to abstain from sex for as long as possible...lasted 3 years which was pretty good going for a student.

I was 14, I don't regret having sex at that age but regret losing my virginity to the person I did. But then I was with my husband who I'm still with now at 32.

I was absolutely ancient - at university! - but the boy who I first slept with had lost his virginity at 12 to someone much older. He was very open about regretting it afterwards and feeling like he'd only done it to be big amongst his mates.

I was fourteen when I had sex with a family friend. I can see now that he was a paedophile but at the time my home life was dreadful and I thought that he loved me. I felt so grown up and even though I did not enjoy it, it felt nice to be wanted. I have since found out that I was not the only one and have realised that I was abused both physically and mentally. After blaming myself for years I came to understand that it does not take much to manipulate a vulnerable fourteen-year-old. This man is married to my friend now and is also a friend of my husband. I play the game of pretending that it didnt happen. But in the back of my mind I know that he knows that I could ruin his life if I wanted too. I wouldnt do that as it was a long time ago and would hurt too many people. However, it is nice to know that his happiness is in my hands. Quite a turn around. Just as a side note, my mental health suffered in the past as a result of what I can now see was abuse. I wish my firat time had been with my first husband who I met when I was seventeen, I have always felt tainted.

I had sex at 13 I don't think anything about it really I certainly don't regret it.

I was 14 and drunk, very much regret it, but i wanted attention, didn't care where from. Was having a horrible time at home and would hate any child of mine to be feeling that way, getting drunk and having sex at 14. I was even allowed to go to nightclubs

I was very law abiding and waited til my slightly younger boyfriend turned 16.

I remember a first year (would be year 7 now so 11 or 12) who boasted about giving blowjobs to lots of older boys on the school ski trip. I was pretty appalled at the time, even more so now as I think she was probably coerced.

I was 15 with my 21 year old boyfriend.

He wanted to wait until I was 16 but I didn't want to.

I definitely don't regret it and we had an on/off relationship for the next few years and remained very good friends.

I didn't really enjoy sex much for quite a few years until it just seemed to 'click' with one boyfriend and I do wonder if it was because I started quite young.

I was 12 and it was rape by older kids who supplied drugs. Unsurprisingly I was a pretty fucked up teenager especially as four of the crowd died from AIDS/HIV-triggered suicide and I couldn't get tested until five years later.

However at 18 I acquired a lovely boyfriend who didn't freak out when I had panic attacks in bed with him, and eventually created much better, clearer memories. He let me be totally in control, on top of him. Have had an excellent sex life with various people with no regrets since. The fact that it was a one-off attack - we moved soon after so never had to see any of them again - helped me recover, I think. And that most of them were dead.

A friend of mine was having consensual sex from 12, with boys aged 13-15 mainly, and it was her doing most of the chasing. She's always had an incredibly high sex drive - three times a day would be ideal for her - until calming down somewhat now she's in her 40s. She's convinced in her case it was just a hormonal urge for sex and feels she treated a few lads a bit like objects but probably on the whole not badly.

I was 13 and he was 21. We were 'together' for 6 months before full intercourse, 'relationship' lasted 2 years.

The reason I was with him was because he had a flat and always had cigerettes/alcohol. I had a fucking dreadful home life, constantly being beaten the fuck out of by my brother (not normal sibling stuff - pretty extreme violence) and his flat was somewhere to escape to. I had my own keys so if my brother kicked off in the middle of the night I could leg it over to the flat barefoot (which I done on several occasions).

I don't regret it, it is what it is and I needed him at the time. In some ways I feel I used my body to help me survive which I do not feel ashamed of at all ... I do think that my then boyfriend should feel ashamed though. I was young and very vulnerable.

Oh and just to add I didn't enjoy it, I thought (and still do) sex was very boring and I felt very 'meh' bout it. I've always felt very disconnected during sex.

I was 15. I was head over heels in love with a foreign exchange student and we started dating. He came back and visited his exchange family again a couple of months later and that's when we dtd. Idk what happened but he professes not to have received my letters (this was in the 80's so no phone calls) and when I finally phoned him he said he thought we were over and he'd gone off me. I thought he was going to take me away from the awfulness of my family, I very much had the notion he was a knight in shining armour or something. It didn't happen. I was so alone. It deeply affected my mental health and I spent hours motionless just sitting at the end of my bed. My mother found out I'd had sex and didn't talk to me for days. Almost a year later and my dad died. The nastiness thing she said to me shortly after he'd died was that she didn't tell him what happened as it "would have destroyed him". Vindictive bitch. She tried the same thing on me again a month ago when my stepdad died because stepdad "never forgave" my reaction when they told us he was dying (I asked questions like what would happen, how long did he have as it was a rare illness I'd never heard of ). Never once did the cow comfort me from being dumped or after my dad died.

My dd will never go through what I've been through. Idk how to explain to her what happened to me. The only advice I received from mother was not to do it till I was married.

I was 14, He was 17. no regrets. we're still friends.

I remember clearly that age. When having a BF or having sex was something to be proud about.
I also remember clearly all the angst and the struggles some of friends had re bfs and sex. Loads of them struggled with the whole thing and I know some of them regretted it. They rarely said anything about it. Because having sex was cool but saying it wasnt great wasn't....

Not great tbh. It wasn't as consensual as I thought, and my then boyfriend was a bit of a shit. He was legal, I wasn't. The act itself was fine, it was the emotions surrounding it that had the effect.

A perfect example of why there should be an age of consent really.

mummy Ive seen that often with friends.
Girls loosing their virginity and seeing that as something important. And a sign that it was a relationhsip that somehow would last.
To then be devastated when it (unsurprisingly?) didn't happen like this.
Ive seen a good friend getting serious MH issues because of that.

I was 14. I was curious and wanted to be cool. I found a 17 year old and we did it the once. I don't really regret it, but I don't see the point in it now! I was rubbish, frigid sex and neither of us had a clue. I didn't do it again until I was 16 when I was in a relationship.

I was just 15 when I lost my virginity, not ridiculously young. He is still the only man I have had sex with, and we are now married. I don't particularly have any feelings about how old I was except we definitely got better with age

I was 16 and he was 15 when I had sex for the first time. No regrets. He was my first love and was a really nice lad.
Most of friends had boyfriends/sex earlier than me. They were about 13/14. 13 does seem very young now I think about it as an adult, but at the time I/they didn't see it that way. I'd be a bit now if I found out one of my children was having sex at 13.

I was old, 21, but I do remember when we were 12 a girl in school telling us she'd been having sex for ages with her grown up boyfriend who was in his 20s - if that was true (and she definitely had a shitty home life and was much more mature than the rest of us) all I can think now is what a horrible pervy creep he must have been. I remember at the time thinking that I wasn't impressed at all and that she was a saddo for boasting about it, I wasn't sympathetic at all - don't think I realised the implications.

I had sex with my bf (who I'd been with for a year already) when I was 13.

I can honestly say I'm really glad I did. It was a positive experience through and through (my bf was lovely) and meant I had no hangups about sex throughout my teenage years.

Still had my share of very negative experiences later on, including grooming by a much older man, but they didn't mark me that badly I think because they didn't form how I felt about sex, as that had already been formed by the early positive experience, iykwim.

I think circumstances are much more important than age.

I had sex with my bf (who I'd been with for a year already) when I was 13.

I can honestly say I'm really glad I did. It was a positive experience through and through (my bf was lovely) and meant I had no hangups about sex throughout my teenage years.

Still had my share of very negative experiences later on, including grooming by a much older man, but they didn't mark me that badly I think because they didn't form how I felt about sex, as that had already been formed by the early positive experience, iykwim.

I think circumstances are much more important than age.

It's horrifying how many people on this thread were coerced by a much older and manipulative man.

14, a few weeks before I turned 15. I was ready, he was my boyfriend and one year older, and despite a very dramatic teenage relationship we did love each other and it was totally the right decision. I have no regrets although 14 does sound very young to me now. I remember talking to my DNeice at that age and feeling shocked when I thought that when I was that age I was having sex. I definitely saw myself as more mature, who knows if I actually was or not. Many of my friends were older but had an awful experience their first time, usually drunk at a party.

Eternal. It doesn't surprise me. I already had poor mental health from an abusive mother and brother. 30 years later I'm still affected by what happened despite years of counselling and currently having some very good therapy.