To be annoyed at my HV?

[newmammyof2]

DS is 6 weeks old and only seen the HV once, 10 days after he was born. She was a stand in as my HV called in sick that day, this was a Friday and she said someone would call to make an appointment to see us the following week.

A full week went by and no phone call, I called them and asked for an appointment and my regular HV asked me to Come to her in the clinic, I explained I had a c section and can't drive, she asked about public transport but the clinics not on my bus route and would be tricky even if it was with a toddler and newborn, and a taxi would cost £14 there and back. She said all home visits were booked up for two weeks so got me into the soonest one.

She called the day before that, cancelled and rearranged for 9am today. It's now 10am and still no visit and not heard from her.

Do I call asking what's going on or is that unreasonable?

I know my baby's gaining weight just by looking at him and he's feeding fine so I'm not concerned about him, my concern is for all she knows he could be ill or underweight. I just think no wonder terrible things happen and go unnoticed when you can't even manage to see anyone?

Plus DS1 is getting cranky as it's nap time and I don't want to put him down and have her turn up just as I'm settling him as it can take half an hour or more to get him down, which isn't helping my mood lol

If you're happy with your kid, just ignore it.
If they cannot get their backsides in gear, they are not concerned about you.

I'd get on with my day tbh. There are many reasons why she might be running over. If she hadn't shown by this afternoon I'd call and leave a message. Mine (the equivalent, I'm not in the UK) did this and I just kept a note of my efforts to contact them and their response after a friend had similar problems and then was told off for not seeing them sooner. Made sure we went to out 3 week and 6 week GP check which was way more useful.

I do know what you mean about being concerned for others. I like to think that our team was rubbish in coming to see me because they were needed elsewhere but then how would they really know. In the other hand I sadly suspect it was because all public services gave been cut to the bone.

If you think your baby is fine then I would leave it. You know better than anyone if there is a problem and you are capable of reaching out. HVs are really there to ensure babies are being looked after properly post delivery (as sadly many are not) but clearly your HV has confidence that you know what you're doing.

I'd be happy for no HV to cross my door ever. I know if my stitches need attention, can check my uterus myself and can tell if my baby is gaining or has jaundice etc. HVs are not really there for people who have experience and support and an ability to flag up problems.

If they have confirmed an appointment with you they should stick to it (of course there are circumstances where they may have to rearrange). Tbh though I have never seen a HV regularly with any of my three children, they have visited once when signed off from the midwife and that is about it. My youngest had a one year check too. They are pretty stretched here and if I need to see them or wanted baby weighing I can pop to the clinic.

Sorry, no real advice but just wanted to say YANBU to be annoyed. But to be fair, I think services are stretched and you don't know what might have happened today to cause her to be late; the visit before you could have been a mum or baby that was really struggling or she could be caught up in traffic. I am sorry to hear that you haven't been given the support you should have been though.
I suppose I was lucky that my health visitor did come regularly (as often as she was supposed to) and she was nice enough, but actually I found her quite useless. Every time I asked her anything she told me to ask the GP, so what I would say is that if you're happy that your DC is healthy then just carry on as you are, if you have any concerns then just arrange to see the GP as the HV probably wouldn't be able to do much for you anyway.
You have my sympathies regarding the c-section scar, our local midwife unit was always making me travel in (from the day after I was discharged, so 2 days after the op) a 15 minute drive down bumpy country roads - I thought my insides were going to fall out

Sounds like the service is under massive pressure, if home visits are booked up for two weeks. Can't you drive to a clinic if the baby is now 6 weeks old? I presume you will be bringing the baby for the vaccinations at 8 weeks anyway, when a further check up will be done anyway

I found in my area second time mums were the ones they would cancel on or delay seeing and prioritize first time mums and mums with other issues already flagged.

They would often cancel or be very late when ds was gaining weight well and breastfeeding was going great. But once I called them about my PND getting bad I saw them weekly always on time roughly and no canceling. I think they get a feel for if things are going well or not and prioritize that way as they just can't see everyone.

Yes problems can get missed this way, but it's the best they can do when so underfunded.

I know what you mean. I'm still waiting for dds two year check and she's nearly three. Ds has been seen once and he's nearly two months old.

I'm not concerned for either of them, and I try to tell myself that they don't bother as there are children they consider to be more in need, but how would they know when we get a different person each time and they have, on several occasions with dd not even known if it was a girl or boy they were coming to see?

I hope I'm just being cynical. I know the services are horrendously over stretched and under staffed, I just worry about the potential consequences

I'm not really annoyed about today's appointment being missed as I do understand things can happen in appointments prior to mine and I'd hate to think she was rushing from one new mum who needed her just to make the next appointment. Just the fact that it's been hard to see anyone and the stand in HV said the guidelines for being weighed had changed and needs to be more often than before, and if I wasn't having him weighed often then they'd be on me wanting to know why. Just felt a bit like catch 22 when you can't drive to them but can't get them to you either.

I can officially drive in 2 days according to my insurance and do have my GP 8 week check up soon. Like I said it's more the lack of support offered, not that I feel I need it.

I suppose I'm just annoyed as the routines gone out of the window for the morning

I haven't seen a Hv since my baby was 10 days old. She's now 3 months. I do think yabu though. Mine expect you to come to the clinic even if you've had a csection and mine is out the way also (and I had a csection) I just don't think they can be expected to home visit everyone as they wouldn't have the time.

Are you still in so much pain uou can't drive after six weeks? I was able to easily. I'd maybe think of seeing a doctor.

Sorry who are you insured with, most insurers don't care.

I saw my HV when LO was brand new and then again at 15 weeks, and then at 10 months. personally I wasn't bothered about seeing her in between as I didn't need to.
The service is hugely over stretched as is most of the NHS. I had needed to see someone I would have docs rather than ring her (appreciate you've had a c section).

I think the service is a good idea for those who really need / want it and for everyone else it's an added bonus

I think HV do get an idea of who to prioritise. My HV has been very dilligent calling me and making house calls (much to my embarassment). DS had a few health issues from birth and it's been a struggle to get this far. She always encourages me to text or call her if I need anything. I'm the only one of my friends who seems to have this level of input

Are you sure it's down to your insurer?

Only Drs can decide if someone is medically fit to drive. If a dr deems you unfit, then you would not be covered by your insurance if you were in an accident.

If your dr said check with your insurers, I'm surprised your insurer said you couldn't. Mine practically laughed me off the phone when I rang and explained the above. They were very kind though and said they get asked all the time. Unless a dr has specifically said you cannot drive for x long, the insurer won't care.

Whether you feel ready or not is another matter entirely. I chose not to drive until the 6 week period for best recovery was up, but ended up driving when Dh was taken ill at 5
Weeks post section.

Anyway, I have found that hv vary greatly, even within the same clinic. Unless you are very concerned then I would wait until you are able to get to the clinic yourself. In the meantime your gp will see your baby if they are unwell and you will be going for jabs soon as well as baby/postpartum checks.

The hv service is, as most services are, stretched to breaking point and I'd sooner they were late to me having been sorting a problem with another mother/baby than missing the opportunity. I appreciate they don't know that similar is going on with you, but the fact you have been in touch and are willing to engage in their services will be reassuring to them. If you continuously rebuff their contact then I am sure they will be beating a path to your door as a concern.

I had an infection after the c section and the wound healed badly, my GP said not to drive until he'd seen me at the 8 week check but my insurance do actually state that after surgery such as a c section if I were to be in an accident before 6 weeks I wouldn't be covered? I suppose all policies vary

I'll just call the HV this afternoon and tell her there's no need to rearrange an appointment that I'll wait and drive to clinic instead. I remember there being at least 3 home visits when DS1 was born so was thinking it would be the same now I didn't realise it was different for second time mums!

Don't let your routine go - carry on with it and deal with it if she does arrive. I would prob phone around 11 if it were a 9 oclock and just to confirm whats happening rather than moan etc.

I had a v prem baby by c section followed 10 days later by gallbladder removal so two major abdominal surgeries I had one visit form HV and that was that - everything else was into clinic which was about a 1.5m walk uphill too and into surgery which was a bus ride and me not able to even lift baby onto bus - really helpful.

Hospital advice after abdominal surgery (hysterectomy) was no driving for 6 weeks -- this has to do with strain on abdominal muscles and stitches etc. Maybe different with an automatic car?
It appears that the HV service should be more transparent on what it can offer and what patients can expect. When services are under such pressure and HVs just do what they can manage cases are bound to slip through the net and the results can be devastating for both babies and mothers.

*Update
Just called clinic and spoke to another HV. Told her who I was expecting this morning but that if I didn't need the appointment then I'd wait to see them myself that I didn't mind and wasn't worried. She firstly said my HV wasn't in today! And I should have been called as my names definitely in the diary, she also said I needed the follow up appointment as last time I was seen I hadn't been discharged from the midwives, hence being told I'd be called to make another appointment. I told her I didn't mind waiting until I was driving but she insisted on making a new appointment for a home visit

I don't drive though so surely if someone can't drive for 6 weeks they should just get the bus like everyone else

@newmammyof2, that's fair enough as that is advice you have been given.

Hopefully you will be seen soon and can carry on!

Home visits aren't routinely offered to 2nd+ mums in my area anymore, but if your name is in the diary someone should have called.

Unfortunately their time is taken up with families with additional needs, or attending case conferences.