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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be driven so crackers by the same question being asked over and over?

34 replies

CruCru · 19/08/2017 16:16

I have a three year old daughter who is being quite hard work at the moment. She's going through a phase of asking "Please can I go home?" This is a benign enough question but she asks it 50 or 60 times a day and asks even when we are on our way home / are actually at home.

I've started off by saying "You're already at home", moved on to "Shall we talk about something else?" to "Please stop asking nonsense questions" to "I've asked you repeatedly not to say that any more. I'm going to get cross if you carry on".

I now have a terrible headache and have put the telly on for the kids.

Does anyone else also get this?

I used to have a boss who would ask the same question repeatedly (if he didn't like the answer the first time) and that drove me mad too. It was a different situation though.

OP posts:

Nuttynoo · 19/08/2017 16:18

What happens when you ignore the question?

Original poster

CruCru · 19/08/2017 16:26

She says "mummy", "Mummy", "mummy", "Mummy", until I respond.

OP posts:

Parmaviolets13 · 19/08/2017 16:26

Sounds weird but have you dug any further? Like, what does she mean or where does she mean when she says she wants to go home?

Is there more to it or is it just like the 'why' phase?

Original poster

CruCru · 19/08/2017 16:28

I think it is just like the "Why" phase. I think she wants to make conversation (non stop) but can't always think of something to say.

I must make it clear that I do talk with her and do stuff with her. I just can't bear the same set of nonsense over and over again.

OP posts:

ItchyFoot · 19/08/2017 16:31

Oh God we're in the middle of the why phase with 3yo dd. I can handle the first couple of why's but 3 whys deep I start to wobble.

toomuchtooold · 19/08/2017 16:33

Oh mine did that. My way of dealing with it was to give the explanation once and then end with a one word conclusion - like in your example say "we're already at home, so yes". Then, every time the question is repeated I'd just say yes. It's less exhausting that way. My one who did it seemed to want the reassurance - at 5 she still does something similar - asks me 4 or 5 times at night whether she'll get black teeth after brushing her teeth. At least it's now 4 or 5 times and not 20 times.

toomuchtooold · 19/08/2017 16:34

Oh and she's just started going "what" every 3 seconds while I try to explain anything. There's been a lot of under the breath references to a certain scene in Pulp Fiction this week...

ButtHoleinOne · 19/08/2017 16:35

Yanbu.

Haudyerwheesht · 19/08/2017 16:36

Dd still does this and she's 6. I mostly tune her out.

SpottedGingham · 19/08/2017 16:37

Someone will be along shortly with a woo suggestion.

Gizlotsmum · 19/08/2017 16:39

We get this. Mostly when he is tired/ insecure.. especially if we are at home. I just tell him yes or you are which works eventually. Sometimes asking where he means by home ( if the above doesn't work) stops him

Mummaofboys · 19/08/2017 16:47

I'd ask her the same question back 'please can I go home' I'd answer it every time the same way so she gets bored with the same old boring answer 'please can Mummy go home' if you answer with that every time even if your at home or not planning to go home, the monotony of the answer will bore her soon enough.

fleshmarketclose · 19/08/2017 16:52

Get her to repeat your answer back to you. So she asks "Please can I go home?" and you answer "yes we can go home after shopping etc" Then immediately ask her "When can we go home?" and prompt her to give you the answer that you have just given her. Hopefully that will help the answer to stick in her head and stop her repeating the question but if she asks again just say " What did I say? We can go home ......" and allow her to give the answer.

SleightOfHand · 19/08/2017 17:21

"This is where we have to be right now", "I love you", then give her a hug.

plantsitter · 19/08/2017 17:22

DD2 used to ask 'where's mummy?' To ME, when I was RIGHT THERE. Drove me nuts. But yes, she was just trying to interact/make conversation.

I found a tickle helped after the 6th/7th time.

EnglishGirlApproximately · 19/08/2017 17:24

My five year old still does this, I don't even hear it sometimes - it's so continuous and repetitive it's almost become background noise. I don't have the answer sorry, just sympathy. It drives me mad when I'm driving I can't concentrate unless I tune him out then he gets stroppy that I've been ignoring him!

YouTheCat · 19/08/2017 17:24

I look after a little girl who asks this question and also does 'why' repeatedly. Unless it's a valid question (say if we've been somewhere for a while and she's getting a bit bored), I always answer her 'why' with another question. It stops her if she's just saying it for the sake of it.

IAmBreakmasterCylinder · 19/08/2017 17:29

I'm not sure if she's too young for this but I read on MN a while ago about something like 'asked and answered'.

You answer their question properly first time and possibly again to emphasise then every time they ask the same questions you say 'you've already asked me and I've already answered' then sya nothing else.

It has been hugely helpful with my much older DS who constantly asks for snacks out of boredem even when I've already said no. Once he cottoned on that he was always going to get that response he stopped asking so much. Still tries it on now and again

NuffSaidSam · 19/08/2017 21:06

'Someone will be along shortly with a woo suggestion'

What like she's really an alien? . It did make me think of ET.

It's a really annoying phase this one. I agree with everyone else just answer once properly (particularly if you're out) and then just answer very briefly yes or no.

Or make a joke of it and say 'no, unfortunately we're stuck here on the moon because the rocket is broken' or any other random thing that she might find funny/amusing/entertaining.

SleightOfHand · 19/08/2017 21:11

I think the woo meant the place of being before birth and after death.

TenForward82 · 19/08/2017 21:31

@toomuchtooold

user1492970817 · 19/08/2017 21:45

I remember my Mother whenever we kept on with the "why" question,we got because I bloody said so. That was many moons ago.

Yerroblemom1923 · 20/08/2017 05:49

I used to all why a lot as a child and my mother's response (usually when it was attire obvious what she was doing eg peeling potatoes)was "playing marbles "!

Shadow666 · 20/08/2017 05:53

Change the subject. She just wants to talk but can't think of anything to say.

Mummy, can we go home?

Sure. What do you want for dinner?

steff13 · 20/08/2017 05:57

Someone will be along shortly with a woo suggestion.

Well, obviously she is remembering a past life and wants to go to that home.

My daughter went through a phase where she was constantly asking if we were "there yet," when we were in the car, when we clearly weren't there. For a while, I'd say, "we'll be there in 15 minutes," or whatever. Finally I got fed up one day and said, "yup, we're here, get out," even though we were still driving. It cracked her up. Of course, it kind of backfired on me, because now she asks so I'll tell her yes, get out.

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