To judge this parenting choice

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www.cbc.ca/listen/shows/the-current/segment/13661865

We have friends who have 2 kids in contact sports - ice hockey (we live in Canada). The older one is a brillliant player but has received 2 hits to the heads in the past while - both leading to concussions. She now has problems with sleeping, attention, etc.

I feel really judgy of the parents, especially seeing how the child's life has been effected. AIBU?

*hits to the head. not heads. ahem.

*affected, not effected. ahem

I think it's no different to many other childhood activities. They all come with a risk. Hockey requires well-designed safety gear to be worn.

Yes you're unreasonable.

In some areas, though, hockey seems unavoidable. However I'm old enough to find the idea of girls playing (ice) hockey very odd (dodging pucks).

However I'm old enough to find the idea of girls playing (ice) hockey very odd (dodging pucks)

Surely the danger is the same for both sexes.

I wouldn't judge the parents. There are so many dangers for our children growing up and if they don't have a passion, they end up taking drugs.

No way on earth will I let my kid play hockey (or American football). Maybe there isn't an equivalently popular sport with such high brain injury risk in the U.K. and so maybe the risk doesn't translate as well on this forum. But these head injuries are not normal childhood risks, they're well beyond that. Safety gear won't cover it. They could completely change the rules of play and that might help (in hockey anyway), but that's not happening yet.

It's all tied up in identity stuff in Canada, as is football in the US, and I think that makes it hard to acknowledge the dangers, but they're real and we're all just going to have to adjust.

Oh and if they follow this passion, they're pretty likely to end up taking drugs anyway - take a look at the rates of drug addiction in former NHL and NFL players.

Maybe. The doctor who found the whole brain injury link to contact sports says rugby, martial arts, football (US style not soccer), hockey, wrestling and boxing are all too dangerous for kids to play under the age of 18. Here's a quote from the transcript and this is what upset me:

For example, if your child plays any of these high impact, high contact coalition sports and receives repeated blows to the head, with or without concussions, your child is more likely to die before the age of 42, through violent means. Your child has about two to four times increased risk of committing suicide. Your child has about two to four times increased risk of suffering from a major psychiatric illness, including major depression."

that's a really shitty thing for a kid.

and this kid's brain is damaged. right now. in real life. because of contact sport.

yeah beach you're probably right. The sheer speed/force of some of these hits on ice is probably hard to understand if you're not familiar with teh sport. Same with football.

Op YANBU. I'm not from Canada but if I had a friend whose dc was repeatedly suffering head injuries while Eventing I would question their motive for allowing their dc to pursue dangerous riding. I would consider it irresponsible yes. But that's just me.

Sorry - I mention the Eventing just to put it into 'my' relatable context.

Rugby

horseriding

Similar things happen in them.

I think many do not realise the dangers really, I've seen posts from many people on MN that don't make their DC wear bicycle helmets even though many lives are saved by them every year.

Rugby
Horse riding
Skiing / snow sports in general
Surfing
Running

All of these sports can be dangerous (and more). What do you suggest we do instead? Not do any sport at all?

Mosy sports and hobbies carry risks. So does playing out.

A lot of work has gone into preventing head injuries in rugby. It is evidence based with schools around the world involved in the research. The current head injury protocol in rugby where they are sent off to be checked whether they think they're ok or not comes from schools rugby. Levels of 'contact' and what is allowed also varies at age level. They don't do line outs or contested scrums to start with. At our school we generally get most injuries from soccer and skiiing.
By all means judge the decision that's what we do as people, but I'd like to think ice hockey as similarly moderated rules at junior level.

I have the exact same reaction to "children's boxing " and so can see your point. YANBU