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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DS 7 not sitting in a booster seat

36 replies

greentomatoesatthewhistlestop · 12/08/2017 13:18

My DS who has just turned 7, was picked up by his father this morning to go on holiday. Despite him owning a high-backed booster seat, he has decided that at 132 cm (135 cm being the new legal limit) he is old enough and tall enough not to have a booster seat. He was also sitting in the front seat of a car with an airbag (def not disabled). When DS is in the car with me and DH he has a full backed booster and occasionally on emergency school pickups has used a bottom seat booster (IYKWIM?). I can't stand my ex husband and I was furious when DH told me - my question is how would you feel? (by the way, it is entirely possible I am over reacting!)

OP posts:
NorthumbrianGirl · 12/08/2017 13:20

It woukd be unacceptable to me.

Alexandra87 · 12/08/2017 13:25

The airbag thing is only relevant to a rear facing car seat.
But yanbu about the booster.

Allthebestnamesareused · 12/08/2017 13:26

The law has been passed for safety reasons after research so it is not for him to decide otherwise.

NannyR · 12/08/2017 13:27

I don't think you are overreacting, I can't understand why he wouldn't use one if there is one available. 135cm is the minimum - I've had taller children sitting in them, because they are safer and more comfortable. In other European countries the minimum height for not using a booster is higher, around 150cm.

geekone · 12/08/2017 13:28

My DS is 7 but is 145cm (at least) and he has been in a high backed seat until very recently.

LittleOwl153 · 12/08/2017 13:35

The law requires him to have a booster seat until a he is 135cm or 12yrs old. (A high backed booster is required till 125cm. Therefore he legally requires a booster (base) seat - although a high back booster is perfectly acceptable (And some say safer).

Air bag is fine as only a problem with rear facing seats - and is a safety advantage given no seat!

Question is what can you do. You could send the police after him on his registration. They probably wouldn't bother as I think without seat is ok 'as an emergency' such as in a taxi. Annoying I know.but short of getting a solicitor/court involved I am not sure there is anything you can do.

FlandersRocks · 12/08/2017 13:37

Geekone 145cm is massively tall for a 7 year old - are you sure? It's nearly the 98th percentile for my ds1 who is 9 and a half (and was measured yesterday at 145cm)

PaintingByNumbers · 12/08/2017 13:42

Its pretty much the minimum height required so I cant see the police taking any interest at all. Yes, I'd hate it, but this is the kind of crap that seems to go hand in hand with irresponsible parenting by the less involved parent.

Firesuit · 12/08/2017 13:42

In percentage terms, not using a car seat for a 132cm child is equivalent to driving at 71.6 mph where the speed limit is 70.

Firesuit · 12/08/2017 13:44

Or 0.7 mph over the limit in a 30 zone.

TheMasterNotMargarita · 12/08/2017 13:47

The airbag thing is not only relevant to rear facing seats.
Airbags are designed with adult paasengers in mind and as such can cause serious injury to a child sitting in the front seat.
Im sure I read it here. It was to do with the powder that is packed into the airbag coming out at speed and causing eye damage to a child iirc. Driver got bollocked by the doctor as it could have caused blindness.

Original poster
greentomatoesatthewhistlestop · 12/08/2017 13:54

Many thanks for your replies. Yes, my concern for the airbag was to do with the powder but also regarding the skin burns that adults can get from them - for younger children I had thought (heard/read) that it could rip the skin off (DH has had skin grafts on forearms after a bad crash in 2009. We are about to go to court in connection with breaches of the child arrangement order and I will mention it to my solicitor - it makes me feel sick that he could put him in danger without a thought.

OP posts:
TopBitchoftheWitches · 12/08/2017 13:57

Air bags cause massive injuries to adults but they can save lives.

The issue with booster seats and the height issue I won't explain but yes your ds should still be in one.

Increasinglymiddleaged · 12/08/2017 14:02

In percentage terms, not using a car seat for a 132cm child is equivalent to driving at 71.6 mph where the speed limit is 70.

Nothing like some simplistic analysis

Yanbu at all, my DD is 135 just about but I wouldn't let her in a car without a booster unless it was a quick lift/ emergency. In mine she's in a hbb let alone nothing at all! Why wouldn't he just use one - it makes no sense to me.

LouBlue1507 · 12/08/2017 14:47

How do you know ExDH has decided DC is old enough? How are you not sure he simply forgot in the business of getting ready for a holiday?

Original poster
greentomatoesatthewhistlestop · 12/08/2017 14:52

LouBlue DS has mentioned when they last saw each other that daddy says he is getting too tall for a seat and won't need one soon. It is not a case of simply forgetting, he really doesn't think he needs one to be safe! I know he's only 3 cm under but he is only 7 and that his father has one that fits him (its the same as mine).

OP posts:
LouBlue1507 · 12/08/2017 14:55

Sorry I don't want to be a cow but ExDH isn't lying, he won't need one soon. That isn't implying he doesn't need one now. Could it have been a genuine mistake?

Why didn't you give him your to use?

Original poster
greentomatoesatthewhistlestop · 12/08/2017 14:59

LouBlue this is nothing to do with lying. DS needs one now and is traveling without one. ExH wouldn't have listened even if DH had offered the one in the car. Def not a genuine mistake.

OP posts:
mikeyssister · 12/08/2017 15:02

In Ireland the law is 150cm and in my opinion it's a much better idea than 135cm. The belt does not sit properly on a child who is smaller than this, friend of mine is a fireman and he says he's seen some horrific injuries to kids where the belt has been on their necks instead of down lower.

HipsterHunter · 12/08/2017 15:14

I'm not sure I could get that upset over it at just 3cm under.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 12/08/2017 15:44

Have you checked his height? If he's definitely under legal limit you should ask ex-H to carry on using a booster cushion at least. Once he is 135cm I do think you have back off as it's something that reasonable parents can differ about.

LouBlue1507 · 12/08/2017 16:40

Hmm seems odd to me. You should be angry with your DP for letting DC go.

Feckitall · 12/08/2017 16:54

I would keep them in seats/boosters as long as appropriate. Unfortunately some idiots people think its a sign of how 'grown up' DC are.
DS has had this argument with his ex...she thinks seats/belts are optional but when he threatens to report her she responds that she will stop contact Angry

Raver84 · 12/08/2017 16:56

Airbag is a huge issue for children on the front their neck is not strong enough to support the impact from the airbag which often causes more injury than the crash itself . If the airbag pops in a minor collision it can injure a child's neck badly. Im sure I read an article on this recommended age is 12 to be able to use front seat airbag. My car seat disables the front airbag when placed in front passanger seat automatically when fitted (merc car seat merc car) for this reason.

PurpleDragon76 · 12/08/2017 17:02

My son is 7 and 132cms tall, I do not let him travel without a full back seat. When he doses off he flops all over so like the support the seat offers. Also that you can adjust it with the seat belt at the right position for his shoulder.

YANBU - I think if you can offer a child extra protection in a car then why wouldn't you? Also plan on using it when he is taller than 135cms