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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To report assault by 10year old?

53 replies

NotTodayBillyRay · 04/08/2017 13:37

My son was just hit in the face by two bullies whilst playing football, am I unreasonable to report to police??

Bit of background..

10 year old ds has been getting bullied on and off for over a year, escalated at Easter to harassing us at home and ds threatening suicide and was self harming. I reported to police and nothing was done, but a pc did say if it carries on he would personally visit the boys. (Forgotten his name). Bullying had stopped as far as I knew and ds was friends with them.

And now today, I want to go out and scare them but they're just children. I'm scared ds is going to go downhill again.

What do I do..?? DH is working and not answering his phone, I've text one of the mums (her number was on ds' phone after her son called her)

OP posts:
Namechangetempissue · 04/08/2017 13:43

Your poor DS. Has he got any marks or bruising? Take photos of these if he has. If you have previously spoken to the police about this boy/boys and have been advised to contact them again if anything else happens then do so. I hope the parents are helpful in sorting things out.

justkeepswimmingg · 04/08/2017 13:43

Please do report this OP. Your poor DS.
Also I'd be concerned that your DS was telling you they were 'friends' to hide the fact that he has still been bullied this whole time. Your DS is threatening suicide, and self harming, please do not take this lightly. This needs to be dealt with, so please see your GP too.

What were the reactions from the parents the last time the bullying was reported?

Floggingmolly · 04/08/2017 13:44

They're just children. So is your child. Why are you not prepared to stand up for him?

DPotter · 04/08/2017 13:48

OP is prepared to stand up to them - through the Police.
I'm only small and there are certainly some 10 year olds bigger than me so I don't blame someone for not confronting them in person.

A chap in the next village was cautioned for chasing and catching hold of a lad, who was in a group of teenagers shouting abuse and generally being a nuisance, so I think it's better to call in the Police.

Don't delay OP - call the Police now

Original poster
NotTodayBillyRay · 04/08/2017 13:49

I am standing up for him!

I can't just go storming out I have other children to think of. When I do see these boys I will say something to them, not scream or shout.

The parents last time were not informed and I was advised not to. Load of good that's done!

We have seen our gp, we have seen a mental health counsellor and he has a course of counselling starting in 2 weeks.

OP posts:
malmi · 04/08/2017 13:51

Floggingmolly

OP is prepared to stand up for him. "They're just children" was about her reluctance to "go out and scare them", which is what many of us would instinctively want to do even though we know it's not the right way to tackle bullying...

A bit more support for OP please!

LuLuuuuuuu · 04/08/2017 13:52

With your latest post I think Yes OP , you should call the police.

They will probably only get a caution but it will hopefully be enough to scare them .. Are they all 10 ?

Original poster
NotTodayBillyRay · 04/08/2017 13:54

So I've taken pictures of his face, nothing there really. And he now says they slapped his face not hit. But still they shouldn't be touching him and it was bad enough for him to ring me crying.

He has an older brother and he will be looking after him if they decide to go out again.

Yes they are 10, they start year 6 in September

OP posts:
justkeepswimmingg · 04/08/2017 13:58

Glad to hear you've already seen the GP Flowers.
Agree you can't approach these children, and I'm completely shocked that the parents weren't informed last time! 100% call the police, and push for this to be taken further. The parents need to be made aware by the police, at the very least.

Original poster
NotTodayBillyRay · 04/08/2017 13:58

What really pisses me off is a couple of weeks ago ds was playing with one of them and the boys bike went missing so DH took him home and then they went looking for the bike, found it and took it back to him.

OP posts:
Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 04/08/2017 13:58

OP

Not much advice

But can i just say that ds was hit in the face by a football at about the same age

He is now 18 and has just needed an operation on his nose as it turns out it was broken

No bruise or blood so we had no idea

Thanks
poppythetroll · 04/08/2017 13:58

Above the age of 10 years old is above the age of criminal responsibility if you think you can resolve this without the police then that should be your first action, however as the suspects are over the age of criminal responsibility the police therefore have a responsibility to protect you and your child and if reported they will/SHOULD investigate the incident. A local solution would be most likely outcome IE. no arrests but the parents and children spoken to and invited in for a voluntary interview where they would be interviewed under caution and then probably leave with a verbal warning to stay away from your son and family or outcome of restorative justice where you maybe invited to sit in with the parents and for the suspects to apologise either face to face or by letter and then again a warning from the police to stay away. HTH. Hope you and your son are ok I hate bullying incidents Angry

poppythetroll · 04/08/2017 13:59

Should 10 and over is the age of criminal responsibility xxx

Allthebestnamesareused · 04/08/2017 13:59

I think you should contact the parents. Remain calm and say what happened but say you would like them them to deal with it how they feel fit.

If a parent told me my child had done that I would (after getting his version) be issuing a punishment and expecting my child to apologise.

If they are going to be at school together get it nipped in the bud now and hopefully it won't happen when they are back at school.

PhDPepper · 04/08/2017 14:03

10 is the age of criminal responsibility, I would call the police, they clearly know what they're doing. Even if it's just a stern word from a police officer it might be enough for them to realise that this is not acceptable

poppythetroll · 04/08/2017 14:03

Sorry me again, just read your post about the police being involved at Easter... straight to the police get it nipped in the bud. Do not be bullied by police officers either who can't be arsed to investigate a 10 year old being assaulted - that's. it me. Ring disrespectful I work for the police and I know for every 10 excellent PC's there's one who can't be arsed and will try to get out of criming and dealing with such incident. Good luck xxx

ExConstance · 04/08/2017 14:03

Yes, call the police. Assault is a criminal offence and they are over 10.

poppythetroll · 04/08/2017 14:05

Crikey I need to learn to proof read!!! Above should read "that's not me being disrespectful" Grin

ChelleDawg2020 · 04/08/2017 14:06

Yes, call the police. These thugs need to learn that crime has consequences.

HalfShellHero · 04/08/2017 14:06

I second trying to deal through the parents first.im so sorry your ds is going through this.

Mittens1969 · 04/08/2017 14:24

Having been bullied, I know that there's nothing more soul destroying for a child than to go through that trauma and then see that nothing ever changes. In my case, because I was no shrinking violet I used to lash out in response and I would be the one that got into trouble.

Your DS has been brave in telling you what he's been going through. The fact that he's feeling suicidal suggests strongly that the boys didn't stop bullying him at all, but your DS was hiding it from you.

I would concur with previous pps, you should definitely call the police again.

Goodluckjonathan76 · 04/08/2017 14:35

OP, we had a situation in our local park last week where a gang of boys aged 10/11 starting being very aggressive with my DSs, aged 9 and 7 and their friends. They hit DS's friend and had my DS2 on the ground strangling him! Even more worrying was that they didn't stop when confronted by my nanny and other adults. Complete thugs, kids or otherwise. I reported to the police and they came to take my statement last night. Had it been a one off I would have been less inclined.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 04/08/2017 14:38

Your poor ds. I fuckin hate cunting bullies, and I'll use that word about 10 year olds because they are cunts.
Evil cunts.
Your poor boy has suffered enough and it seems the authorities have done nothing.
Well this is where you demand something is done. Yes report them.
YWBU not to. If he's threatened suicide. Fingers need to be pulled out.
I bet you feel like getting hold of them don't you and saying. " How fuckin hard are you with me. You fuckin pair of shits. You wouldn't be a mother if you didn't.

GreenTulips · 04/08/2017 14:39

Report them! Get it on record!

I'd have no qualms about it - your son sound like he needs you to believe him and stick up for him - show him how grown ups do it

If someone slapped you in the street you wouldn't think twice about reporting them

Littlechocola · 04/08/2017 14:42

The police told you that they would visit the boys if it carried on. The police aren't psychic. At least log it.
You're poor son shouldn't be feeling like this at such a young age, he's just a baby

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