Interloper in my happy home....

[Gowgirl]

Ived lived quite happily with this strange woman who rescued me from prison for about 8 years.

She filled the house with small children and apart from avoiding them i didnt complain.
She trapped my in a box and moved my to the city but i adapted.
I occasionally let her brush my hair and let her know when its right by biting her, so far so good.

But now this skinny wretched thing is usurping her affections eating my food, laying around my kitchen that i sleep in when it's really cold (ice on the ground) at least and letting the small squeaky people stroke it!!!!

The house thief has no shame i tell you! Plus it just had the audacity to hiss at me, oh mumsnet what should i do?

AIBU to sulk from the top of the garden shed for the next three days while hunger striking?

LTB

YANBU but could I kindly ask you to shit in your litter tray please, not my garden. Ta.

Call your solicitor for 30mins free advice.

I even went indoors and made nice last night after the squeakies had gone upstairs. I got the left over chicken i assume as a peace offering this is emotional abuse right?

I feel your pain OP.

I was rescued from prison with my brother by a strange couple. They then acquired a hairy smelly barky thing, which I hated. After much sulking I decided it's not that bad. - In fact I luffs it.

But since then they've had a tiny screechy poking thing, which I wasn't allowed near even though it smelled of milk! Now there's a second hairy smelly barky thing, when will it end?

Start pooping in the middle of the kitchen and let the interloper take the blame. After 8 years, she will never believe it was you.

I like that, i always shit in the patch of dirt behind the apple tree because i know she likes to pick it up, it makes her feel useful......

You need to log this outrageous abuse. Call 101 immediately and cancel the cheque.

Log it with 101

Sneak in, claw the curtains then deposit the ragged ends next to the skinny thing so they get the blame. Sidle out and resume your post on the garden shed and pretend to be asleep.

It that fails try a half eaten pigeon as a peace offering

🤣 X post with OstentatiousWanking

Have you any neighbours who could help you out? This is an emergency really.

I mean look at it its got no hair!

Is it my fault i am not a people person?
Theres an older lady of the alley that is generally good for a meal and a sleep when she lets the small screechy things in the garden....

Why don't you get their attention by bringing in a half rottem, maggotty, dead bird or mouse as a sign of your everlasting affection? Put it in one of their shoes as a suprise...

They'll love it and it will remind them how much they love you!

HTH

You poor thing. I'm a crazy cat lady with no cats. I rely on disaffected neighbourhood cats to visit me so that I can pretend they are my cats. Please come and visit me. I have a comfy bed, tuna and opposable thumbs.

? No photo of interloper

Ignore me..... As you were

I think you might need to borrow a tactic from the barky types. Can you find some fox poo to roll in. They won't ignore you then!

I can hear that cooper man playing in the school playground. That means the screechy things will be here all the time. Plenty of time for the scrawny interloper to suck up to them for their affection....

You are clearly a superior cat. Continue as you were and they will soon see who is the boss.

I hope you have support in RL.

The small screechy things will grow bigger and start sneak feeding you with all sorts of goodies. They will hide you under their duvets and offer you sticky hugs and kisses. Sometimes they will cry warm, wet tears and say that you are their bestest most beautiful friend. They will whisper all their secrets into your soft silky ears.

And THEN you can blackmail them.

I managed to bring the strange lady a baby field mousey this morning it was still twitching and only slightly battered she would have loved it!

Then that mangy moggy bit its head off! Just the head i always eat them whole at the back door so the screechies can watch.

What a waste! Just the head!

The mangy moggy has no class.