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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to ask my NDN to move their child's cot?

33 replies

SpareChangeDownTheSofa · 05/07/2017 08:20

My NDN have a child about 1.5 who is still in a cot and due to this she is unable to get out of her bed, however it seems she has toys in her cot (the heavy plastic kind).

Since her cot is pushed up against the shared wall and her room is next to mine, WIBU to ask my neighbours to move her cot away from the shared wall until she has grown out of the phase she is currently in, which is banging these toys against the shared wall in the early hours?

It happens every morning from about half 5 and keeps waking me up and has recently started in the past couple of weeks. The walls are thin and I've always been able to hear normal noise from NDN like conversations/baby crying that is reasonable in my eyes but this banging seems a little excessive to me.

OP posts:
AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered · 05/07/2017 08:22

YANBU, totally reasonable request.

Supersoaryflappypigeon · 05/07/2017 08:26

Yabu-i don't see why you should be woken up so early just because they're child is up (and I say this as the parent of a 15 month old with a penchant for throwing teddies about in the early hours Grin). I would move a cot (space permitting) given the same circumstances.

Supersoaryflappypigeon · 05/07/2017 08:27

Yanbu I mean!

SailAwayWithMeHoney · 05/07/2017 08:28

Yanbu but they wouldn't entirely bu to say no either.

vikingprincess81 · 05/07/2017 08:28

Nah, not U - keep it light and breezy tinkly laugh if you must but we will judge you and I'm site it'll be fine Grin

HerBluebiro · 05/07/2017 08:31

Not unreasonable to ask. But might not be possible either depending upon size of room. My daughter's room can have one arrangement only. Nothing else fits. Fortunately not an adjoining wall.

Can you move your room around? Wardrobe on that wall etc

doaweewee · 05/07/2017 08:31

I'd probably approach it by telling them the impact it's having on you and asking if they think there's anything they can do about it, rather than asking for the cot to be moved.

It's likely to make them more amenable - as you're asking for them to help solve a problem. They may not have space to move the cot, for example, but might be happy to stop giving hard plastic toys in the night, or go through when baby wakes to settle her.

BlahBlahBlahEtc · 05/07/2017 08:32

From the thread title I thought it was going to be some thread about a kid crying or something, but banging toys against a wall?! No yanbu. The parents must know the kid does this also? I mean I'd certainly notice mine banging on a wall at 5 in the morning.

Sparklingbrook · 05/07/2017 08:33

How well do you know the neighbour? Friendly terms? You know the layout of their baby's room so assume you are pretty friendly?

if so just ask.

Original poster
SpareChangeDownTheSofa · 05/07/2017 08:40

They're relatively new, been there about 8 months?

I know the cot is against the wall just through the noise really. When the baby cries/bangs on the wall you can just sort of tell.

I don't think the parents hear it as their room is diagonally across from the baby's if you know what I mean? They're also quite slow to go to her when she wakes up through crying etc. Its an ex-council house so I know the lay out from visiting old NDN and from looking nosing at the online ad.

Can't move my room around, its L shaped so can only get my things in one way.

OP posts:
PetalsOnPearls · 05/07/2017 08:41

Have you moved your bed from against that wall?

YANBU to ask, are they aware that it's happening?

Or maybe ask that only soft toys are in the cot at night (which baby wants to sleep on hard toys anyway?!)

PetalsOnPearls · 05/07/2017 08:41

"When the baby cries"

YABVU about this though; the baby is going to cry - that's what babies do.

alltouchedout · 05/07/2017 08:42

Yanbu to ask, but they may not be able to rearrange their furniture in a way that suits you, so if that's that case they wnbu to say so.

Original poster
SpareChangeDownTheSofa · 05/07/2017 08:47

petals I can completely understand that, hence why I have never (and would never) mention it to them. Its not this I am asking for, its due to the banging of toys on the wall Confused

OP posts:
NotAPuffin · 05/07/2017 08:48

YANBU to mention it. If they can't move the cot, they could probably put softer toys in there for the child to bash with.

Yayne · 05/07/2017 08:50

As a neighbour I definitely wouldn't mind if you asked - would be a bit embarrassed probably that it hadn't occurred to me myself

grasspigeons · 05/07/2017 08:57

Just bear in mind the parents may be tired and sensitive. It's a very reasonable request but they may suggest you change the layout of your house too.
We had next doors cot against our bedroom wall. The parents used to tell people their baby slept through and I used to think er no it doesn't! We had our own baby at the time so I was very sympathetic.

PetalsOnPearls · 05/07/2017 08:57

Spare Yeah, ask about the toys - definitely. And if they get difficult compromise by asking for soft toys only in the cot?

Hopefully they are unaware of it and more than happy to move the cot (could they even move it to another room?) You may totally luck out if that happens with both the wall banging and the crying!

moggle · 05/07/2017 09:02

YANBU. It might only need to be pulled a few inches away from the wall so that there's nothing actually banging on the wall. If you phrase it that way rather than 'can you move the cot' (to which the answer may be no, that's the only room it can go in and the only place it can go in in that room) you might get a better response.

moggle · 05/07/2017 09:03

Also taking the hard toys away is a good suggestion but she might just be kicking the bars... My DD does this and you can hear it on the other side of the house, downstairs... Luckily we are in a detached house...

Original poster
SpareChangeDownTheSofa · 05/07/2017 09:05

I would never expect them to move her to a totally different room as they have probably decorated her room nicely and the only other room is a box room that the baby's mum is in. The master bedroom room is for the baby's grandmother. To be fair they are both lovely and will always come and knock on the rare occasions they've had a party e.g a 40th birthday party so probably just a quiet word when I next see them will do, I just wanted to make sure it was a reasonable request.

I think the toy is in the cot because its the baby's comfort toy, its a little weird that she prefers the plastic-y kind but my little brother's was a tennis ball. There are tons of pictures of him as a baby and toddler sleeping with or just holding a tennis ball that he loved Grin

OP posts:
GreeboIsACutePussPuss · 05/07/2017 09:11

YANBU.

When DD was small she had a toy in her cot that I couldn't hear from my room, but that the neighbours eventually came round and told me was driving them mad because it made an annoying clicky noise and tapped on the wall. So I moved her cot to the wall next to my room instead. They were right, it was fucking annoying at 3am. Point is your neighbours might not even realise she's doing it/that you can hear it.

pictish · 05/07/2017 09:11

You sound totally reasonable to me. I'd pop round for a chat all friendly-like. Just say what you've said here. You're not bothered by baby noise...but that the banging on the wall is waking you up and could be resolved easily.
I'd be cool with that and I'm sure they will be too.

paxillin · 05/07/2017 09:14

Mine had a metal Thomas the tank engine for a cuddly toy. He'd have gone through the wall with it. YANBU, just ask.

Seniorcitizen1 · 05/07/2017 09:19

Move your bed away from the wall?

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