To think I'm not supposed to be happy? (Also in MH)

[Perfecttimes]

I am utterly miserable.
Utterly utterly, utterly miserable.

I cant even begin to tell you how long I have felt like this.

I feel like the happiness part of the brain that everyone has and that fires up when good things happen or when they achieve something, just doesnt exist in me. I feel like when my brain was made, the happiness bit was just missed out.

Nothing i do, achieve, or experience makes me feel happy.
I have literally tried everything, antidepressants, therapy, NLP counselling and perhaps it does something for a short while, as soon as i'm left to my own devices - any small effects from it all are gone.
The NLP stuff has worked the most but now i cant even face thinking about it and all the 'tools' I have been taught. It all just seems so fake and like im trying to force some sort of happiness on myself when its not there. Its all just so fake. Its like pretending to be happy when your not.
I feel like im just in despair at how hard this life is, i cant see anything in sight which i feel excited about. I can see my future and its a long time of paying bills and rent i cant afford because i cant buy a house and rent is so much higher than most mortgage payments these days.
Life is shit and unfair and all i can see is hardship for the rest of my life.

Hi OP. This is a post that really resonates with me but I find hard to answer. I have really struggled with depression over the years and I feel I'm coming out the other side but can't pinpoint one fix and even if I could, our lives are hugely different.
What support do you have?
Would you benefit from having a text/phone/Skype buddy?
Do you have any children?
Can you think of any quick wins, anything you can do to feel better RIGHT NOW. Never mind later or tomorrow, now?

Do you find you dissociate a lot? It could be that you're not in touch with any of your feelings and this is blocking all the happiness, as well as other feelings?
I couldn't just read and run, but I'm going offline soon. I hope you find some help.

What do you think happiness is?

I think happiness is having a life you dont want to run away from.

Sorry you are going through this OP.

One thing I'll say though, don't have unrealistic ideas about how happy everyone else feels. Everyone's brains are not "firing up" with happiness all the time.

If happiness is having a life you never want to run away from, then no human on earth is happy.

Don't hate me but have you tried huge doses of omega 3?

I felt the same as you for most of my life but the fish oil has really changed things for me - i must be coming up to three years of "recovery".. i'm not ecstatic or anything but I generally feel content unless there is a reason to feel awful.. And i did feel utterly wretched a lot of the time..

If you're willing to consider it I would suggest taking 3 solgar triple strength capsules a day for at least six weeks..