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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU on the Guardians take on Feminism

13 replies

WineSlob · 30/06/2017 21:10

I bloody love this article/comic

I work a lot of hours (more than full time) my OH does does 8-5 and rarely brings work home. We spilt chores 50/50. But I basically have to prompt and manage everything.

I am mentally fatigued (doesn't help I am in a project manager (in a very male dominated environment) type role at work) and I basically come home and do the same...

The dishwasher thing 😡 Oh so when you found his bottle and favourite plate in the clean dishwasher you just Didn't think to empty the rest, I suppose the magic fucking fairies do it...

www.theguardian.com/world/2017/may/26/gender-wars-household-chores-comic?CMP=fb_gu

OP posts:
Covfefe · 30/06/2017 21:16

Yes, I've seen that a couple of times. It's spot on in my experience.

Covfefe · 30/06/2017 21:17

Might print it and frame it and put it in the bog for sh to be reminded every time he sits on the loo.

TitaniasCloset · 30/06/2017 21:22

She says at the end she is going to do an emotional work one too, that I really need to see.

WineSlob · 30/06/2017 21:29

It just really explains everything to a tee, me and my OH got into a bit of a squabble last night about him doing the fair share. And he does do house work, I was trying to tell him however, that just because he does 50% of the physical work I still have to remind him. And that's a burden.

And that's the 50% he sees, our DS. Wouldn't be starting school in September if I hadn't of filled all the forms in, done the research on potential schools and offered it up on a plate to him to "help" me make a decision on preference...

At work I would say that's getting my boss to sign off on my recommendations.

I thought we had things evenly sorted, money, time and effort gets split 50/50 I thought. But actually the reason I am feeling like I can't fit everything into a single day and that I am mentally exhausted is well, because of everything the article says...

OP posts:
Elephant17 · 30/06/2017 21:40

Put into words/pictures so perfectly.

I used to do EVERYTHING (to my regular annoyance). Am now on maternity leave and struggle to keep on top of the demands of the house as well as looking after my baby (who is rather full on). This struggling hasn't brought about a balancing of the chores, but rolling eyes as to why XYZ isn't done.

Of course as well as the household chores, I'm also the one who submits gas/electric meter readings, rings up to cancel the sports channels when the season ends so we don't keep paying double on our tv package, making sure we pay all bills on time etc etc etc etc etc.

I have tried EVERYTHING to get things to change, nothing works. And now I live I fear that my son is going to grow up to be one of these pathetic men because it's all he sees!

Depressing stuff.

Cailleach666 · 30/06/2017 21:45

I have refused to fight the system. It's just far too much effort.

I do the wifework, but I also only work 16 hours a week. My OH works 60 hours a week.
Although I am the one who has to remember to insure the car/buy the cat food/buy stuff for kids I also get loads of time for myself.

OH expects nothing - he will fix his own meal when he gets in, anything I do for him personally like his laundry is a bonus to him.
Keeping myself sane by exercise and being creative allows me to manage the home and wifework without feeling overwhelmed.

Suits me and my family.

Pigface1 · 30/06/2017 22:21

I've never seen this before. Thank you for sharing!!

My DH and I don't even have kids (yet) but yet I can still relate 150%!

WineSlob · 30/06/2017 22:36

I agree Elephant depressing!!!

Wife/woman's work needs to be erased from the dictionary!!!

OP posts:
poweredbybread · 30/06/2017 23:58

I sent this to DH the other day and asked him to please read it and not be arsey. Not a word since so the mental load continues....

TrollTheRespawnJeremy · 01/07/2017 00:07

Ahhhh this is so accurate.

Elephant17 · 01/07/2017 15:56

I thought about asking my partner to read it but he'd turn his nose up and remind me of the one occasion he took it upon himself to wash up a pan. Because obviously that makes things equal and I must never grumble ever again. Or he'd read the first few parts and then get bored.

SaucyJack · 01/07/2017 16:04

This is a pretty funny take on it from the male perspective.

Cailleach666 · 01/07/2017 16:26

Why accept it though?

I wouldn't have this situation in 1000 years. It's all very well complaining about wifework, but women working full time continue to irons their OHs shirts, then complain about the unfairness.

If someone were to iron my shirts- knock yourself out.

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