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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School trips and parents

62 replies

Anotherdaynotasingledollar · 26/06/2017 20:27

Today there was a school trip and many parents volunteered to go.
The school told some parents that they would pick those parents that hadn't been before
However there are 2 parents who always go
Their children are not special needs but one parent in particular is always chosen for everything and they have an older child in the school already whom they have gone from n these trips with and will probably continue to do so.
Part of the problem I think is that a. She is very pally with some of the staff and b. It is the deputy head who picks the parents who chooses the parents and gets a n with this particular parent
AIBU and What would you do if anything

OP posts:
Happyhappyveggie · 26/06/2017 20:33

I've got to be honest here- I never go on school trips because I am in work. And also- I can't think of anything worse than spending a day with 30 kids!! In our school the same parents go and quite frankly, good for them because I don't want to!! I am helping out at the school fete though!

EduCated · 26/06/2017 20:35

I can see that it's reassuring for the school to have a parent on board that they know and trust, and don't blame them for that.

However they should be honest about how they pick people, even if that is that there's no particular criteria.

lalalalyra · 26/06/2017 20:36

Or it could be c) the school know she's checked, she's experienced and follows the rules.

At the playscheme there's one parent we always pick when we (rarely) have a glut of parent helpers. She's an ex teacher. She's a great help, and she doesn't think any of our rules are only applicable to some kids or can be ignored.

Justmadeperfectflapjacks · 26/06/2017 20:40

Maybe she has a crb /similar certificate?

Mumzypopz · 26/06/2017 20:44

Such is life. You aren't going to be able to change it. Perhaps she has proved that she is very capable and helpful, and that's what they need parent helpers for..to be helpful. It isn't a jolly.

StillDrivingMeBonkers · 26/06/2017 20:47

What is your problem in all this?

Aren't you picked ? Or are you picked and you don't like the other mother? or are you just stirring the pot?

GlacindaTheTroll · 26/06/2017 20:52

Did all the parents who hadn't been before get to go?

If so, the school appears to have said nothing about who would be chosen next.

If it matters to you a great deal, perhaps you could ask the teacher in charge of the trip?

DramaInPyjamas · 26/06/2017 20:52

Are you jealous? Or is the chosen parent unsuitable in some way? I don't see the problem, it's a SCHOOL outing - for the kids - not the mums to go have a jolly for the day

UserX · 26/06/2017 20:55

I think they always want at least one "safe hand" that most of the children know by sight.

YesMilk · 26/06/2017 20:55

She's probably known to the school and a 'good' helper.

You never know what you'll get with an unknown parent and trips are stressful enough!

Toysaurus · 26/06/2017 20:56

Maybe it's the way you describe chilsren as Their Children are not special needs. It's not a nice turn of phrase.

ThornyBird · 26/06/2017 20:58

I used to get picked a lot when I was a sahm - but they knew I had worked as a teacher before children and went in to the school once a week to help anyway so had a CRB/DBS check done. Can't say I particularly miss the school trips now I'm back at work.

PurpleDaisies · 26/06/2017 21:00

No children "are special needs*. Hmm

arethereanyleftatall · 26/06/2017 21:03

I think the parent who helps the school the most - i.e. PTA etc - should get first dibs.

sunnyday1976 · 26/06/2017 21:04

Pretty similar to pp. I get asked to go on all the school trips (and do sometimes feel bad for other parents) but they ask me because I've been DRB checked and go into school to read twice a week, so know all the pupils pretty well.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 26/06/2017 21:05

Going on trips is not a treat! Shock

I made the fatal mistake of getting a PVG with the school, so now I am called in all the time for trips. They are stressful and noisy and definitely not something any sane parent would want to do...

HipsterHunter · 26/06/2017 21:06

Maybe she is useful.
Maybe she does the 'shit work' as well as the fun trips.
Maybe she has DRB check.
Maybe they are just mates.

Can't get upset about this.

ladyvimes · 26/06/2017 21:07

We rarely take parents on school trips but when I do I always approach the parents I know are good at supervising and are good at assessing risk. I would never put out an open invite as, in the nicest possible way, I have had a lot of useless helpers in the past.
It's not as easy as it looks!

PurpleDaisies · 26/06/2017 21:08

I would never put out an open invite as, in the nicest possible way, I have had a lot of useless helpers in the past.

Me too. Some are like having another (naughty) child.

HoneyDragon · 26/06/2017 21:12

Same here I'm always asked. I help regularly at the school, with all year groups, help with the pta. Used to work at the school nursery so the majority of children have known me since they were toddlers. Also I'm DRB checked making me useful for trips to the toilet.

I've offered to give up my place for the trips that are popular with other parents have grumbled about not been selected when volunteers on top are asked for, but school say no as they need someone who can take the children to toilet and who know them and their behaviours on hand. It's not spite that school will pick a familiar face, it's practicality.

Rockhopper81 · 26/06/2017 21:12

What ladyvimes and PurpleDaisies said - I've never put out an open invite either, I've asked parents I knew (from experience) would be helpful and cope with excited children outside school.

It's quite possible the 'always chosen' parents have DBS checks through the school, so they're always going to be given priority. Adults the children know will generally be given priority too. It's just about making the day run smoothly for all involved - trips are stressful enough as it is!

HoneyDragon · 26/06/2017 21:14

*DBS

YouTheCat · 26/06/2017 21:14

Maybe she's got a first aid cert and is really good with the children?

Crispmonster1 · 26/06/2017 21:15

As a parent I'm glad they take some who have helped before as it means they will know the score and actually help. I'm lucky that I have lots of excuses not to help out at school trips yet. My day will come though.....Confused

bimbobaggins · 26/06/2017 21:18

Do people actually want to go on school trips and get upset when not picked?
This would be my idea of a nightmare and it would have been my ds's too having his mum on a trip!