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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To not want my ds subjected to this at school

233 replies

requestingsunshine · 21/06/2017 14:11

We don't swear at home, well I might have uttered the odd word, but generally speaking we don't swear. I am under no illusion that my children know swear words. However AIBU to expect that during a school lesson my ds (yr 6) shouldn't have to listen to the foul language coming out of a fellow pupil with the teacher doing nothing about it except telling the child 'not to swear'. Yesterday this child told the teacher and other pupils to fuck off 20 times in the space of one hour.

This is an everyday thing, but yesterday there were more fucks than usual apparently.

I don't understand why the school allow it to go on.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 21/06/2017 14:14

I would be amazed if the school are just allowing it to go on.

More likely there is work going on in the background that your DS rightly isn't aware of.

TheSkyisBlueToday · 21/06/2017 14:17

The child is probably swearing in order to get attention, the best thing to do is ignore it. Your DS is old enough to understand not to repeat what he hears. It's not really an issue.

HappyLabrador · 21/06/2017 14:17

The sweary child probably comes from a 'troubled home' which means he/she is allowed to get away with murder...

Yanbu to be annoyed. I would be too.

KoalaDownUnder · 21/06/2017 14:18

YANBU.

He should be removed from the classroom if he's swearing that much. Ridiculous.

CorbynsBumFlannel · 21/06/2017 14:18

It wouldn't overly concern me tbh. Maybe the child has Tourettes (I know most ppl with TS don't have the swearing tic but maybe they do?). I'm glad schools are inclusive.
It's up to parents to make sure their kids aren't copying the behaviour. I don't swear around my children either btw.

Pinkheart5912 · 21/06/2017 14:19

I doubt the school are just standing there and letting the children speak that way

These are year 6 children they know it's naughty and they shouldn't be doing it so I don't think a teacher telling them to stop is going to magically work tbh, and I imagine the school are discussing ways to deal with it but obviously your ds wouldn't be aware of that.

What do you suggest the school does?

Squishedstrawberry4 · 21/06/2017 14:19

Contact the head of year.

edwinbear · 21/06/2017 14:21

I imagine the sweary child is dealing with far worse life problems than your DS hearing a bit of bad language.

KoalaDownUnder · 21/06/2017 14:21

What do you suggest the school does?

Something that involves not letting him sit there and swear at everyone?

scatterolight · 21/06/2017 14:22

Lol at Corbyn's comment. Did you get a progressive comment bot to draft that for you?

OP yanbu. Is this one troublesome individual? In which case complain to the school. If it's a wider problem of a shit sink school consider moving for the sake of your son.

KoalaDownUnder · 21/06/2017 14:22

I imagine the sweary child is dealing with far worse life problems than your DS hearing a bit of bad language.

Oh God. No wonder discipline in schools is so pathetic.

JacquesHammer · 21/06/2017 14:23

We have a very troubled child in one of our groups. They're going through an appalling time.

They appear to get away with far more than other children. In reality they're being disciplined in a different way and in a way that doesn't cause massive stress to the child.

All the children in the class know and understand.

HateSummer · 21/06/2017 14:24

Are you sure it was 20 times in a space of an hour? I'm sure if it was repeated like that the teacher would've sent him outside. I agree it's unacceptable and I wouldn't stand for it either, but you don't know the full details?

honeysucklejasmine · 21/06/2017 14:25

I'm sure the school would love to deal with it, but they've probably had to cut their pastoral support to the bone to afford the teachers.

Unfortunately we can't really just pop a kid out in the corridor and get on. They are likely to wonder off, and are still the responsibility of the class teacher.

CoarseConcepts · 21/06/2017 14:27

"this child told the teacher and other pupils to fuck off 20 times in the space of one hour."

Was your son keeping count?

Floggingmolly · 21/06/2017 14:27

I don't think "it should be ignored, he's only doing it for attention" really works in a classroom context Shock. Of course he should be removed from the room. And then some.

Floggingmolly · 21/06/2017 14:28

Doesn't the being sent to the Head work anymore??

TheSparrowhawk · 21/06/2017 14:29

How awful. Your child must be in an environment completely tailored to his need not to hear swearing and that other child must be thrown out on the street forth with! Who gives a shit about such scum. How dare that teacher not magically solve whatever problem is causing that child to swear! Lazy good for nothing!

missyB1 · 21/06/2017 14:29

Talk to the teacher, explain how you feel and ask how they plan to resolve the issue.
I wouldn't want to listen to foul language all day at work so I don't see why children should have to be subjected to it in school.

honeysucklejasmine · 21/06/2017 14:31

Just as an insight. In my previous school, there was an "on call" rota made up of senior leadership, subject heads, heads of year and pastoral workers. If I needed someone removed I had to send another student to the prep room (science teacher) to phone for on call support, who would collect them from my room.

This doesn't exist any more. There's no senior leadership team any more (just a head and deputy), head of year and subject head are too busy teaching as they can't recruit enough staff, and the pastoral team were all cut to save money.

So, options are limited. I can send them out to another teachers room (where they might district that class too), I can issue sanctions and hope that stops them, I can speak to them in corridor whilst class get on with task, or I can ignore them and try to teach everyone else. Rock, hard place. Picking the least worst option.

honeysucklejasmine · 21/06/2017 14:32

disrupt not district.

TheSkyisBlueToday · 21/06/2017 14:37

I don't think "it should be ignored, he's only doing it for attention" really works in a classroom context shock. Of course he should be removed from the room. And then some

Do you work in schools? If the child is swearing 20 times a day, the school obviously notice it and it's likely they're taking steps to manage their behaviour, one of those tactics may well be ignoring him when he has an 'episode'.

The teacher is under no obligation to tell other parents what steps are being taken just that they are taking action.

2014newme · 21/06/2017 14:39

Straight to the HT at our school and parents are notified. There don't seen to be many second incidents.

Floggingmolly · 21/06/2017 14:39

No, I don't. It just sounded like a bizarre response, when there are 29 other pupil's needs to be considered as well as the problem child's.
Fair enough, though.

TheSeaTheSkyTheSeaTheSkyyyyyy · 21/06/2017 14:40

Yeah, I can't imagine any situation where a child "told the teacher and other pupils to fuck off 20 times in the space of one hour" and nothing was done about it. Sorry.