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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

To not want my ds subjected to this at school

233 replies

requestingsunshine · 21/06/2017 14:11

We don't swear at home, well I might have uttered the odd word, but generally speaking we don't swear. I am under no illusion that my children know swear words. However AIBU to expect that during a school lesson my ds (yr 6) shouldn't have to listen to the foul language coming out of a fellow pupil with the teacher doing nothing about it except telling the child 'not to swear'. Yesterday this child told the teacher and other pupils to fuck off 20 times in the space of one hour.

This is an everyday thing, but yesterday there were more fucks than usual apparently.

I don't understand why the school allow it to go on.

OP posts:
Misswiggy · 21/06/2017 16:42

viques - dramatic much?

If this child had Tourette's/ problem at home then that is sad and needs addressing. No-one is suggesting the child needs punishing. However it doesn't mean the rest of the kids and the teacher should have to suffer. Presumably this behaviour is disrupting everyone else's ability to learn and that's not fair.
The kid needs a specialist school or separation.

GahBuggerit · 21/06/2017 16:44

Poor kid sounds really troubled.

IIWM I'd speak to the school in a formal setting, request a meeting, ask them what they are doing to ensure your DS isn't being affected by this - they may well tell you there are things they cant discuss but they may assure you that your DS's work isnt being affected by it (probably the case as your DS isnt bothered by it)

Is it an otherwise good school?

NannyRed · 21/06/2017 16:46

I'd definitely be booking an appointment to have a word with the head teacher about this.
Not only are the implications so bad (if one child can get away with it the whole class will follow suit) but as you said, you do not swear in front of your children, I don't think it's being unreasonable to expect the same common courtesy from your child's fellow pupils.
Book yourself an appointment with the head and nip this in the bud.

missyB1 · 21/06/2017 16:47

I wonder if all those saying it's not an issue would be happy to sit at a desk next to a colleague at work who kept shouting out swear words or telling people to F off? Personally I would find it distracting and stressful to say the least! It's hardly conducive to being able to work - or learn - is it?

FinallyThroughTheRoof · 21/06/2017 16:48

Having tourettes doesnt automatically mean you need a specialist school.

Plus is it somehow ok to swear in front of kids who have SN?

Hate all these "ship em.out" suggestions that always come up.

JacquesHammer · 21/06/2017 16:48

missyb I worked for a rugby club then in the games industry. It was de rigueur 😂

requestingsunshine · 21/06/2017 16:55

Hate all these "ship em.out" suggestions that always come up.
no one has suggested to 'ship him out'

And he does not have tourettes.

The school is otherwise mediocre. Has a reputation for bad behaviour though. I didn't know about this reputation when ds joined it recently as we were new to the area.

OP posts:
FinallyThroughTheRoof · 21/06/2017 16:57

Someone said "if he has Tourettes he should be in a specialist school".

Hth

GahBuggerit · 21/06/2017 16:58

I actually have worked with someone who often swore, it was fairly obvious it was linked to something else.

As a grown up and non-dickhead it was pretty easy to just ignore it and crack on with work. Only like working in an office where people are talking.

FinallyThroughTheRoof · 21/06/2017 16:59

Oh plus you dont actually know what issue he has. Wink

FinallyThroughTheRoof · 21/06/2017 16:59

Are you privy to his records?

GahBuggerit · 21/06/2017 17:01

New to the area and know he doesnt have TS/anything similar?

Can I have the link to the database where you sourced this information please? May come in useful. TIA

chanel19 · 21/06/2017 17:01

Last year l was regularly called a " little cunt"
"Fucker"
This child was five at the time.
There is a clue in his insults as to where he got it from.
It wasnt ignored.

FinallyThroughTheRoof · 21/06/2017 17:01

Yea its all very strange

Kleinzeit · 21/06/2017 17:03

Well yes Macarena, if you have a child who doesn't have diagnosed SN, and who goes along quietly with the TA and doesn't become a lot more disruptive on the way out, and whose parents are happy to collect him for what might even be an illegal exclusion given the way you have described it ... then yes, you can do that.

Oh, and if you don't mind teaching a kid that all it takes is a few fucks and a bit of bother and he's off school.

requestingsunshine · 21/06/2017 17:04

I do know it isn't tourettes finally Wink

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 21/06/2017 17:05

I would say that this child most likely has some kind of SNs. That level of swearing is unusual for even the most badly behaved child.

AnnetteCurtains · 21/06/2017 17:07

what happened when he threw furniture then ?

FinallyThroughTheRoof · 21/06/2017 17:07

How do you know it?

Did you see his records?

Or a TV programme about it?

GahBuggerit · 21/06/2017 17:18

I suggest there is FA chance that OP knows for definite that he doesnt have TS or any other associated additional or MH needs.

VintagePerfumista · 21/06/2017 17:19

What's with the wink? Do you mean school gate gossip says he hasn't?

How unpleasant.

Saucery · 21/06/2017 17:24

viques Grin

CorbynsBumFlannel · 21/06/2017 17:25

Lol at your post as well scatterolight did you cut and paste it from the Daily Mail comments?
Op since the school will not be sharing this other child's medical history with you or the strategies they are using to manage his behaviour you have no idea whether or not he has TS or that they are doing nothing.
His behaviour sounds very severe and as much as some people on.here might think a trip to the head would stop it I think that's unlikely and it is probably something where sophisticated management with the input of a number of professionals is involved.
Explain to your son that some people have hidden disabilities and some people have poor home lives that can cause them to behave like this. If it's been going on for 2 years as you say and your son hasn't started swearing and his ears haven't melted I'm sure he can survive the next few weeks.
May I also advise that you NEVER take him to a football match. You'd clutch your pearls so tightly you'd need surgery to remove them from your hands.

FinallyThroughTheRoof · 21/06/2017 17:26

I second Gah

GahBuggerit · 21/06/2017 17:30

And I'll just leave this here:

"this has been going on for the best part of 2 years"
"ds joined it recently as we were new to the area."

Hmm
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