To not want my ds subjected to this at school

[requestingsunshine]

We don't swear at home, well I might have uttered the odd word, but generally speaking we don't swear. I am under no illusion that my children know swear words. However AIBU to expect that during a school lesson my ds (yr 6) shouldn't have to listen to the foul language coming out of a fellow pupil with the teacher doing nothing about it except telling the child 'not to swear'. Yesterday this child told the teacher and other pupils to fuck off 20 times in the space of one hour.

This is an everyday thing, but yesterday there were more fucks than usual apparently.

I don't understand why the school allow it to go on.

slkk
You sound very reasonable and like most of the parents I work with who have children with additional needs.

There comes a point when if removed too much they wont be having an education though, and are being failed.

Inclusion will always involve a bit of accommodation from all sides if its to work for EVERYONE.

The ideal classroom full of quiet well behaved kids can't always happen without others being failed.

Otherwise its not inclusion.

It is really hard to know what the answer is in situations like this. You have to really feel for kids who have this behaviour as it is usually either to do with some condition they have or to do with a pretty rubbish home environment. However, as parents, it is also ok to want our kids to be able to learn in a safe and undisrupted environment. We had a couple of kids moved to our primary school who had been excluded from another. They had a lot of behavioural problems but the older boy seemed to settle after a few months but his younger sister was difficult all the way through school, attacking kids/teachers, throwing chairs etc. I remember parents really struggling with the safety of their child versus the need for this other child to try and stay within mainstream. I recently discovered , when my now 14 year old DD was having some counselling for something else, that she hated the last few years of primary, mainly because for a whole year, this boy punched her in the stomach. He used to hunt her down and do this daily and when she told the teacher, she was told that it was because he liked her and it was his way of getting her attention and she nneded to be kind to him. No-one told us there was a problem and I wrongly assumed her mood swings were just hormonal etc. Feel cross and sad now that she was made to feel she had to accept it and we were not told it was happening. If his sister managed a morning without hurting anyone or throwing anything, she got to spend some time in the afternoon having squash and cake with the headteacher. As adults we were continually having to explain to our confused children why she was getting so=uch preferential treatment when she had such bad behaviour. I do not envy schools/teachers trying to manage these things.

It depends what happens when they get removed.At the end of the day, the child isn't learning when they're IN class if they are being disruptive so isolating them isn't actually hindering them any more than their in class behaviour is (and removing them from that situation means the other 31 children can learn).

I remove students from other lessons if they are stopping the class learning.
They work in my room (pr a colleagues room) supervised by a qualified and experienced teacher. They get their work done and then the class teacher can praise the work they have done and we can discuss how to make it better next time. Depending on the behaviour/situation a sanction is also issued.

I think there's a lot of people who have little experience hear 'removed from class/isolated' and decide on the worst possible idea. Do I think there's some ineffective procedures out there? Yes. But I don't think that's a reason to keep disruptive children in class hindering everyone's progress.

My 11 year old, Y6 son regularly complains to me that a disruptive child in his class just gets away with everything he does and is never punished. It really upsets my son when he gets shoved over, hit or sworn at by this child and nothing appears to happen as a result. However, I know the child's parents well and am aware that a lot is being done to try and deal with this - both by the school and at home (also various agencies involved to help). I obviously can't divulge all of that to my son, but do reassure him that it is being dealt with in an appropriate way. Still frustrates him though.

I cannot imagine any primary school is just ignoring a child swearing 20 times an hour in class. I received a phone call when my 4yo said 'fuck' in class - he heard another boy saying it, had no idea it was a swear word and repeated it. School were very quick to make it clear to me and my 4yo that this was completely unacceptable (he was so upset as he'd not realised it was rude and never said it again!). I imagine most primaries would be the same. There's clearly a lot more going on with this boy than the other 11 year olds in the class can see.

If a child is disturbing other children it should not be in the class, full stop. There are rights for the other 29 chldren to get an education too and those non disruptive children deserve a peaceful classroom and ability to work in it.