To ask for advice.

[PraiseTheSun]

NC as I feel so guilty.
I need some tips for how I can stay awake BFing baby at night. I keep falling asleep with baby in bed with me and I feel so wretched because it is so dangerous. It's only during the night feed, I take her to bed to breastfeed her and then lay down as that's how she feeds best. I never go to sleep intentionally. I just sort of drift off and then wake up hours later. I feel so terrible that I'm putting her at risk. Any tips will be gratefully received! thank you.

I remember those days...ghastly. I used to do that too and DC is now a boisterous 5 year old!

Do you have a DP around who can help?

DP is with us but he works very long hours and often has to drive several hours a day. I worry that he will be overtired and crash his van so I try to be as discreet as possible feeding her at night. I think I'm gonna have to ask him to wake up with me to makes sure I don't fall back to sleep

If you don't want to co sleep then I would advise getting out of bed and sitting up in a chair to feed her. You are far less likely to fall asleep if you aren't in bed.

Oh Praise, I feel your pain.

How old is your baby? How often does s/he feed at night? Could it be time to maybe formula feed at night - I found that formula kept DC fuller for longer. Also that way perhaps your DP could do a night feed once in a while so you can get more of a solid sleep?

I would research how to bed-share safely. Excluding drink, drugs & unplanned co-sleeping, there's no compelling research to suggest well planned bed sharing is dangerous.

We did so for 3yrs. Bf'ing lying down at night saved my sanity.

www.nct.org.uk/parenting/co-sleeping-safely-your-baby

She is 7 weeks files. She is on formula for most of the day. I BF her once during the afternoon and then she has a bottle before bed and then she goes to sleep on the breast. She then wakes up once in the night and then I breast feed her till she falls back to sleep. This is when I normally fall asleep

Can you bottle feed her during that pesky night feed instead of BF? i.e. let your DP do every other night?

Having a broken sleep every night is a killer. If your DP could chip in that might help?

Agree with peaface, your only sensible option is to cosleep safely learning to feed lying down. I did it with both of my dc - DC1 took 6 weeks agonising over risks, but was beyond exhaustion. DC2, just cracked on from day 1 .

Enormously safer to follow safe co sleeping guidance than to fall asleep with DC on your chest/in your lap.

And of course it's not your fault. BF releases hormones that cause drowsiness for you - great for getting back to sleep, near impossible to fight when exhausted.

Co sleeping safely is an ideal solution for you. It was impossible for me not to co sleep with my little one!

Having a broken sleep every night is a killer

Erm... Most mums don't get unbroken sleep for the first few weeks / months / years (in my case).

Waking for feeds in the night is really normal for humans OP and you're doing a cracking job. Breastmilk confers some benefits against SIDS, and your milk at night contains a greater proportion of fats and other goodies to help your baby sleep x

Aw the sleep deprivation is horrible isn't it, mixed with the happy / sleepy hormones that bf releases and it's no wonder you can't stay awake.

Your best options are to either get out of bed to feed or look into safe co sleeping.

PeaFaceMcgee - I'm sorry if I got this wrong, your post came across as very patronising towards me.

I am only trying to help / sympathise

I have been where the OP is and of course I know every other mother has.

Absolutely cosleep and bf! As others have said, just research how to do it safely. I did it with both of mine.

Bed share with baby safely.
You're meant to fall asleep after BF at night all those clever hormones are making sure you dont waste any precious sleep!
Even if you dont want to start the night together set it up so you can do so after first BF.

I would avoid dropping the night BF as it's so important for establishing your supply.

Files - I wasn't intending to be patronising towards you. I know you were sympathising, but the original post wasn't seeking tips on having an unbroken night's sleep - quite the opposite.

Night feeding is normal for a breastfed baby. OP is wanting tips for how she can safely BF her baby at night.

I have tried many things in the past to avoid drifting off whilst breastfeeding, it really is difficult.

I've now been breastfeeding for 2.5 years, and these are the ones that work best for me:

Make a flask/thermos mug of coffee before you go to bed and put it by your bed and sip on it whilst feeding.

Same as above, but a bottle of water.

Put your phone screen light on one of the lower settings so it doesn't disturb your dp and baby, and Mumsnet.

I remember having a big panic when I fell asleep BFing DS2 and woke up to find he'd fallen off my lap...fortunately bed side and not floor side.

From that moment on I researched safe co-sleeping and actually DH moved into another room and I had the whole double bed with DS2. It was much much better. I was shattered after 3 years of sleep deprivation (DS1 was still not sleeping through) and just couldn't stay awake during night feeds.

May I second Waddle?
It took me 3 DC to get to grips with BF. So we'll done for doing so well.
Mine were born a while ago and I regularly fell asleep whilst BF. It's natural. I would say just look at current advice and adapt accordingly.
Don't for one minute think that you need to be completely awake for BF night feeds. Just research recent safety guidelines and adapt to those.

Get your earphones in and listen to podcasts or watch Iplayer etc and/or mumsnet. Many interesting bun fights happen at 3am. Good luck.

Have you thought about a side sleeping cot? Then you don't have to get up just plop them i and and go to sleep. We had a snuz pod.

I always feed lying down (while snoozing) and then co-sleep. Win win. But just do it safely. I always keep a wool baby blanket for my shoulders and keep the duvet low on my body. I sleep face to face with baby so they don't end up lower than me in the bed. Baby gets baby blanket, not duvet.

This used to happen to me and I would just plan for it to happen safely. So when you lie down with baby move away duvet, pillows. Make sure no gaps between bed and wall etc...research safe bed sharing. If it's planned you will feel less anxious.