Is DD or DH being unreasonable? (Snoring in the living room!)

[BearWindow]

DH snores.

DD is home from uni and was watching TV in the living room. DH always comes home from work and takes a nap on the sofa. He was snoring. DD wasn't happy at all and having a moan. DH doesn't like napping in our room.

Who is being unreasonable?

He's being unreasonable. The living room is a room for everyone to be sociable - if he's snoring it affects everyone in the room.

She's being unreasonable, if it's his home full-time and hers part-time.

Why doesn't he like napping in his bed?

It's rude to take over the living room in a way that makes it impossible for others to use it.

Yes, I agree with that side of the argument completely. However, she no longer lives here and I don't have a problem with the snoring... That's why I'm on the fence.

Well, how would he like it if he was watching TV and she was snoring?

Horrible to say it's not her home. I'd never say that to my children.

@Sirzy because he has just got in from work and won't get in the bed until after a shower but he can't have a shower until just before bed as he has garden work to do in the evenings!

Well between the two of you she's quite likely to realise that it isn't her home and she'd best clear off and find somewhere else.
Problem solved.

He could lie on the bed, though, Bear. Better for everyone.

@cardibach he wouldn't lay on the bed dirty either. He has always been like that.

After a hard days work where he presumably pays the bills, I'd think if he's comfier on the sofa he should nap on the sofa.

Does she have a tv in her room?

Could she turn up the tv?

She has a TV in her room but not Sky. Yes, she could turn up the TV, but declares that it doesn't make a difference!

I think if the main option for TV watching is the living room - a shared space - then it is selfish for someone to ruin that when there are alternative venues for sleeping. Your daughter will only be home for a little while, surely it isn't too much to ask for her dad to accommodate. So my view, he is being unreasonable.

Surely it is her home, though? She might be away for university but she hasn't permanently moved out yet, from what I can see?

I think it's rude to take over the family room like that, especially when he can just go to his room if he wants a nap.

I can't stand when people take over the living room/sofa - especially when they fall asleep in front of the TV and start snoring, but wake up/moan as soon as you change the channel!

My son is home from uni, and this is absolutely his home for as long as he wants it to be. He lives here, he is registered to vote here - he just lives somewhere else during term time as his Uni is several hundred miles away and there is no way he could commute.

When you say she no longer lives there - is she back for a visit, or is she there until her next semester starts?

If the latter, it absolutely is still her home too, and I am perplexed that you don't see it that way.

Snoring when someone is trying to watch tv is VVU.

And if he's that mucky I wouldn't want him lying on the sofa either.

At least you can wash bedding.

Your DH is being unreasonable as are you for saying it's no longer your DD's home though!!
Although if she's a guest, which is what you're saying. He's much ruder to be falling asleep and snoring when you have a guest!

I hate napping on the bed - a sofa is the place for a nap! He's been at work all day, will be working later in the garden and your DD hasn't; DH wins the high ground

@Nanny0gg you can wipe a leather sofa very easily! He isn't grubby, I couldn't care about him being on or in the bed but he is.

No, I don't really see it as her house although I do see both sides of the argument.

Well if it isn't her house and she is in that case a guest, then it's definitely him that is being unreasonable.

That's a poor way to treat a guest.

She has a TV in her room but not Sky.

Sky Go

HIBU. My dad used to do this ALL the time and it wound me up no end (especially when he picked the fucking film and then fell asleep )

I don't think either are being U tbh, but, if there is somewhere else for him to nap, but isn't anywhere else for her to watch the program she wants to see, then the obvious answer is for him to temporarily change napping venue, just while she's home.

You sound like you resent your DD coming home - am I off?

I don't have an issue with her being at home at all, but I don't think it should disrupt our day to day routine. Her accommodation is still being paid for until August.