Is DD or DH being unreasonable? (Snoring in the living room!)

[BearWindow]

DH snores.

DD is home from uni and was watching TV in the living room. DH always comes home from work and takes a nap on the sofa. He was snoring. DD wasn't happy at all and having a moan. DH doesn't like napping in our room.

Who is being unreasonable?

Tell your DD to shake or gently prod him when he snores. Quite often people get into an odd position and start snoring. If they move around a little the snoring stops.

Then he can nap and she can watch TV in peace.

When my DP starts snoring on the sofa, which he does pretty much every evening, he gets nudged and told to go to bed.
My standpoint is if he's that tired he's falling asleep on the sofa, he needs to go to bed. It's anti-social to be asleep on the sofa, let alone sleeping and snoring on the sofa. Sofas are for sitting on, chatting, reading, watching tv; beds and bedrooms are for sleeping on and in.

There is never a situation in which the snorer is the reasonable one.

Is it her house, or her parents' house? Get a grip. A man can snore on his own sofa. So can a woman. Stroppy up themselves dds can move off to another room.

There is never a situation in which the snorer is the reasonable one

Unless they've been awake for months with a non-sleeping baby... God help the person who pokes them awake

If he's falling asleep so easily during the day and snoring especially at his age he should see a gp to rule out sleep aponea or other possible health issues.

@honeyrider sorry? "Falls asleep so easily" he is up very early and works a long shift! He has snored all his life.

If he's too dirty to sleep on the bed, he's too dirty to sleep on the sofa. But realistically the dirt problem could be solved by chucking a sheet over the bed that can be washed easily.

If he has always done this then I dont see why he should stop just because his daughter is present.

But I dont see why it is anything to do with you . they are both adults and can surely work something out between them. Either one of them goes off to the bedroom for a short time or neither of them does but comes to some arrangement about times or days.

But it doesnt have to include you. Leave them to it.

Wow that's so harsh you don't consider it her home. You even say she has a room there, so how can it not be her home? I have my own home and family, but my parents have always made sure that my siblings and I can consider their house our home too. I bet your daughter would be shocked and dismayed to hear that you think the way you do. And I agree with the pp who said 'there is never a situation in which the snorer is the reasonable one'.

I still have my key to my childhood home and go in as and when I please.

It's sad that you don't see it as your DD's home.

But I did have my share of responsibility for the house (housework, and rent when I worked full time).

My home will always be my children's home too. Nevertheless I reservehe right to snooze on my own sofa if I want to. He's not banning her from the front room and she's got a damn cheek trying to evict him.

I couldn't stand someone sleeping, let alone snoring on the sofa - I have no tolerance for that sort of thing. It's just so old - a slippery slope.

Everyone in the house would shout and wake dh up if he did this - including the uni student.

He's being unreasonable.

Snoring is a horrible sound, and people in a common area shouldn't be subjected to it. Why doesn't he go to bed if he's tired?

Depends on how loud the snoring is, to be honest.
YABU about it not being her home though, that's cold. I know I'd always be welcome with my mum and that it's my home too. I haven't lived there for years.

Also I'm 32, married, four children and a home of my own and I still consider my mum's home my home too, as does she. That's normal. Your attitude is not.

if the main option for TV watching is the living room - a shared space - then it is selfish for someone to ruin that when there are alternative venues for sleeping

I agree with this.

If I were the DD in this situation I'd be in my room a lot, and probably coming home as little as possible.

If it was the OP falling asleep on the sofa after work, I wonder how many of you would be OK with her student son moving her on?

Just put another sheet over the bedding that's already on and make her feel welcome

Does she pay for the Sky? Does she pay rent?

I am all for kids being welcomed at home but this is a level of entitlement that is misplaced.

When I left home to go to Uni my bedroom was reclassified as a guest room and redecorated the weekend after I left. Didnt bother me as I was leaving home.

No wonder young people today are so unable to cope with the world around them when a parent, in their own home, in their own living room, snoozing and snoring is causing angst. Get a grip and grow up. The world will not bow to you like you think your parents should.

It's sad that you don't think of it as your DDs home. I'm 33; DH and I own our home. But I still call my parents home as "home" and they're lucky enough to have the space to keep my room as is for me whenever I visit.

That said though I'd never dream of waking my dad up if he was snoring in the living room. He works hard, if he's snoring in the middle of the day it means he's exhausted. My desire to watch a TV programme wouldn't trump that, regardless of whose home it is etc.

Sorry, OP, but it is either your dd's home, too, or she is a guest in your home and either way, he is being rude. Would you let him snore in front of other guests?

I feel bad for your dd I've grown up, left home and have my own children and DP but still consider my parents house home and am welcome to go in, sleep in the bed, eat their food etc. All of us (my siblings and I) have always felt that it's our home and my parents wouldn't have it any other way