Is DD or DH being unreasonable? (Snoring in the living room!)

[BearWindow]

DH snores.

DD is home from uni and was watching TV in the living room. DH always comes home from work and takes a nap on the sofa. He was snoring. DD wasn't happy at all and having a moan. DH doesn't like napping in our room.

Who is being unreasonable?

You could get wireless headphones with a bluetooth adapter. We use them all the time when my partner is watching sport that I don't want to hear/I am watching some rubbish he doesn't want to hear. Problem solved.

I'm 36 and have a key to my parents house...We are welcome in and out whenever we like.

As for the idea that it's your role to se to who needs to be told....

Are they both children that need to be told what to do?
Arent they able to reach an agreement together and negociate? You know like adults??

You reaally need to realise that your dd is now an adult and that therefore she needs to be treated with the same respect than any other adult around you.

I must be from another world. Putting aside the argument about whether or not it's her home for a moment, I would just never in a million years wake up my dad who was napping on the sofa even if he was snoring his head off. It would just be inconceivable that that would be allowed in my house. My dad, and presumably her dad, is working hard, paying the bills and to be honest it's just a question of respect for your elders.
I would just bugger off to another room rolling my eyes.

Oh, and on the other question about it being her home; I still have a key to my Mums house, as does my sister. I still think of it as a home. We are both in our 30s.

I'm 51 and my Mum and Dad's is still MY home, and I still call my room, my room.

I'm 35, I have a husband, we have a house in the UK (currently rented out) and a home overseas (rented) that we currently live in.

My Dad's place is still my home too. It's where I grew up, I have furniture i bought that lives there. Since my mum died I own part of it (as does my sister). Sister and her husband lived there between selling their house and getting access to the new place. My dad and his partner live there but it's still 'home' for all of us.

Likewise my husband's parents have a home and a holiday home. Both places have a space for us despite the fact they bought both when their kids were adults. They are considered family homes and I am made to feel so welcome.

Your poor daughter to not be welcome or wanted.

Neither are being unreasonable. It's his home, but at the same time I think it's rude to be snoring asleep disturbing anybody else who wants to use the living room.

My grandmother is always telling my grandfather off for it. He sleeps through programmes that he puts on!

When I was growing up my dad would walk in mid programme and change the channel regardless of what we were watching, as he was the "Head of the House" who paid the bills.

This will not be replicated in this house.

My DD is 20 and home from uni, this house is as much her home as it is mine. It is her main place of residence, where she keeps all of her belongings and most importantly where she feels loved, safe and wanted. It always will be. DH has a job and might be tired when he comes home, he certainly likes control of the lounge TV after 9pm, but that's fine with us as we each have our own space and have learnt how to get along together for years.

I lived at home until my mid 20's never felt like it wasn't my home in fact it still feels like home 20 years later, I am always welcome.

You see, to have a strange relationship.

I honestly do want her here!

I don't think it's her home forever, but until she gets a 'proper' home of her own, not uni temp accomodation, she's not moved out, she's studying away.

If your DD isn't welcome in your home then you/your DH should have the guts to tell her. If she is, then either you view it as her home or she's a guest, but either way, your DH's behaviour is unacceptable.

Get a blanket for your bed and tell him not to be a dick about where he naps.

DD is home from uni and was watching TV in the living room. you state its her home in the OP Post so I assume after Uni she returns to 'her home'

Can someone please explain to me how it is her home?

She's living in some kind of student accommodation whilst she studies for a finite amount of time. As her parents, the amount of cash she can borrow is linked to your earnings. Therefore she is quasi dependant on you and you have already said you pay for her accommodation. Her accommodation isn't her home. That's different. Until she is living independently, I believe your house still her home. As a student, I used to tell my friends I was "going home for the weekend/to see my family/for the holidays" etc

Can someone please explain to me how it is her home?

Can you explain to us how it isn't? It's not as if a university flat or bedsit is a home. Do you want your daughter to feel she has no home at all? It simply would never occur to me that our home is not our children's unless and until they move out permanently - and quite possibly not even then.

Can someone please explain to me how it is her home?

She's lived there all her life. Where did she come back after school every day? Temporary student accommodation isn't home.

If your abode isn't her home where is?

Your DH is VVU and rude and you're not much better.

My grown up children will always be welcome in my home.

I'm with llhj. My dad used to nap on the sofa and snore shockingly. I wouldn't have dreamed of waking him up any more than I would have complained about my Mum watching antiques roadshow or playing country & western. I just turned the telly up a bit & sat closer . . . (didn't help with the C&W)

Can someone please explain to me how it is her home?

You must be a very cold-hearted mother to ask that question.

If I was your DD I wouldn't bother coming back anymore. I'm not saying coming home because you've made it clear it's not her home.

I've got a 20 yo at uni and a 22yo in th army. This is their home. It will be for as long as they need it. If they were watching the TV and DH came in plonked himself in the sofa and started snoring then I'd give him a shove and tell him to be quiet.

DD is home from uni and was watching TV in the living room. you state its her home in the OP Post so I assume after Uni she returns to 'her home'

This^^! You called it her home in your op .

She hasn't moved out! She's gone to uni. Massive difference. She is not a guest during breaks. All my friends went HOME for uni breaks.

He's using a common area in a way that makes the communal area difficult to use.
DH is being unreasonable.

Gosh he's come in from one job and is about to go out and work some more and his DD is moaning about not being able to watch the telly

Can't see record what she wants to watch and watch it later on? I expect he's only napping for a shortish time?

I find it a bit odd that middle aged people in their 40s and 50s regard their parents' home as THEIR home too. Surely you have a home of your own once you leave, marry/cohabit, have a family etc. Yes, I can understand a sentimental attachment to the place where you grew up, but unless you're contributing financially then it's not your home and I'm sure you wouldn't expect to have a say in matters relating to that house.