Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sit separately to DD and her friends

29 replies

Fidoandacupoftea · 30/05/2017 14:09

My DD 12, is having friends for a sleepover and I am taking them out for a pub meal. I would like to sit in a nearby table. I feel really awkward and don't know what to say after the initial niceties. They are nice kids but new friends from senior school. I feel they would love to sit by themselves AIBU

OP posts:
Squishedstrawberry4 · 30/05/2017 14:11

Yes let them have a laugh together. You can do general chit chat, then sit seperatly for peace. Take the paper with you

Huskylover1 · 30/05/2017 14:12

Yeah, that's what I always did. Sit on a table on the other side of the room. Eat separately and then you pay for the two tables. This will only work if you have someone to eat your meal with though.

Original poster
Fidoandacupoftea · 30/05/2017 14:16

I am on my own Husky, I will take the paper with me squishedstrawberry. They are giggling all the time and I feel like I am intruding with my silly questions on the weather and school Blush

OP posts:
harderandharder2breathe · 30/05/2017 14:17

Totally fine, make sure they know where you are, I would want to be able to see them but I'm a Guide leader so in a different position when I take girls out to a parent taking their own child and friends

SoupDragon · 30/05/2017 14:18

This will only work if you have someone to eat your meal with though.

Why?

I would absolutely sit in a table by myself and eat my own meal with only my kindle fro company :)

metalmum15 · 30/05/2017 14:22

Absolutely, let them sit on their own. It makes them feel grown up. And you can eat your meal in peace without listening to a bunch of giggling twelve year olds Smile

LadySalmakia · 30/05/2017 14:25

Gosh I would think they would adore that idea! You could play it as a 'growing up' thing and never admit that it's you that feels awks about it and be the favourite mum. And you get a blissful lunch with the paper.

AliCat36 · 30/05/2017 14:28

Definitely sit separately! Close enough to keep an eye and make sure there are no problems, but leave them to their chat & giggling. Relax, read the paper & have something nice to eat.

wigglesrock · 30/05/2017 14:28

Tbh I sit as far away as possible in the same building - well that's my plan for my dds 12th birthday soon. I'll have a book/phone to faff about on - I'm sort of hoping to get away with sitting outside whilst they're inside.

MissBax · 30/05/2017 14:30

Could you invite a few of your friends and the adults sit separately so you're not completely alone? I guess it depends whether it would bother you or not

Kokusai · 30/05/2017 14:35

This will only work if you have someone to eat your meal with though.

Why? Can't adults eat on their own?

Liiinoo · 30/05/2017 14:36

Absolutely fine to do that. They will feel grown up and you will get some peace and quiet. Just make sure you sit somewhere you can see and hear them so you can send a death stare or intervene if they start getting too silly or too loud.

Original poster
Fidoandacupoftea · 30/05/2017 14:40

Miss Bax friends have kids and it complicates things. Glad I am not the only one and not dreading dinner now😀

OP posts:
blankface · 30/05/2017 14:40

I'd be happy to eat on my own with a kindle or real book for company. I'd be able to keep an eye or ear out for silly loudness and ask them to tone it down, but apart from that I'd be fine.

Before they get seated. make sure everyone knows the 'rules' about what they can and cannot order per person and how it's going to be paid for, then leave them to it.

Original poster
Fidoandacupoftea · 30/05/2017 14:43

Good one blankface 🙏 I don't want to end up with an enormous bill

OP posts:
GrumpyMcGrumpFace · 30/05/2017 14:44

agree with what blankface says, also tell the pub what you're doing. TBH it's almost better you're on your own, because then you are clearly keeping an eye. Hopefully they'll behave well and you'll have a nice evening with the paper!

And don't worry about feeling awkward. I spend a lot of time trying to get teens able to talk to adults like civilised human beings. If they can't, they just need more practice!

MacarenaFerreiro · 30/05/2017 14:46

Yes, leave them to it. My daughter is the same age and me merely breathing is excruciatingly embarrassing for her, so if I suggested actually sitting and eating with her friends she'd pass out in shock.

Sitting in peace in a pub with scampi and chips and a good book sounds like heaven!

RestlessTravellerTheSequel · 30/05/2017 14:51

If I was in a pub and there was a gaggle
of 12 year old girls at a table without an adult I probably would leave. I think this would be fine in a restaurant but not a pub.

BorisTrumpsHair · 30/05/2017 14:51

I've recently got into audio books. Get yourself a great audio book and some noise reducing headphones. Wear them while you eat your dinner at the other table and enjoy your book for company..

BarbaraofSeville · 30/05/2017 14:55

Check that they're allowed to sit at a table without an adult. Children are allowed in some pubs, but it might be a requirement of the licence that they are accompanied by an adult, and you sitting at the other side of the pub on a separate table might not count.

Fresta · 30/05/2017 14:58

Why are you taking them out for a pub meal? They can do that when they are old enough to eat in a pub by themselves. Plus, no-one else in the pub will want to listen to a group of 12 yer olds giggling away at a table near them. Just stay home and order them a take-away, take them to pizza hut, or macdonalds or Frankie and Benny's or somewhere else more suitable for 12 year olds.

diddl · 30/05/2017 15:02

"This will only work if you have someone to eat your meal with though."

Also curious as to why!

Sounds a good idea to check if they can be seated alone.

Original poster
Fidoandacupoftea · 30/05/2017 15:07

Restlesstraveller it is our local village pub, absolutely quiet over the week and lovely food. It is just 3 girls and we are going for early dinner. They are not very loud just giggle after watching the millionth funny video. Fresca I am a vegetarian and only thing that works for all three is margarita pizza which I have done last couple of times.

OP posts:
Original poster
Fidoandacupoftea · 30/05/2017 15:09

Just called up and they said I can sit at the end of the long table, and it is very quiet today

OP posts:
BarbaraofSeville · 30/05/2017 15:11

Excellent, sounds like a great plan. Nice food at a local village pubs sounds much better than chain rubbish like Frankie and Benny's or Pizza Hut.