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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be fucking furious with dh

217 replies

NapQueen · 24/05/2017 07:40

Over a fidget spinner of all things!

Dd (5) wanted a fidget spinner. We started giving her pocket money so she could save for one. After three weeks she had enough. Dh ordered her one from ebay (dunno why he didnt just take her to a shop to buy one but hey ho). It took the best part of a week to arrive.

Arrived yesterday. She had a play with it before bed. This morning she got up and after breakfast and getting dressed went to get her fidget spinner. It wasnt where we left it so had a scout round - no sign. I text dh (he had left for work 10 mins prior to her asking) and he had taken it.

He works in a school for sen kids and wanted to show oneof the kids. Im fucking furious! Its her toy, which she saved for and waited a bloody week on top of that for and day one he has taken it to work with him. Without asking her. Im all for these things being used as a concentration tool etc buy ffs!! Its not his!

I rang him and he said "I didnt ask her as I thought she would winge" of course she would and for good reason! So im the one left to console her. I mean, its a fidget spinner, so she will get over it, but at the moment this is a big deal.

How fucking selfish

OP posts:
Supersoaryflappypigeon · 24/05/2017 07:45

She bought it with her own money so he's essentially stolen from a child. What a dickhead.

SayNoToCarrots · 24/05/2017 07:45

That is pretty selfish, why didn't he buy two if he wanted one? Your daughter has saved up for it, her reward is to play with it!

Nocabbageinmyeye · 24/05/2017 07:47

Yanbu, that's shitty, why didn't he but one himself? To be honest he has missed the boat as a teacher showing them off too at this stage

Bettyspants · 24/05/2017 07:47

Your DH is being a complete dick .

Original poster
NapQueen · 24/05/2017 07:47

He could have bought one for himself if he was that bothered. Or waited a month or so til she got bored with it. Its literally her newest toy and the first thing shes saved for and day one he does this.

OP posts:
CoffeeWithMyOxygen · 24/05/2017 07:48

It makes it worse that he's basically admitted that he didn't ask her because he knew he'd be upset. I'd be making it very clear that he's acted like a selfish dick and he'd better spend the day thinking of how best to apologise to his DD for putting his own wants above hers. What a bellend.

youwouldthink · 24/05/2017 07:51

Honestly, I would stop on way to school and buy your DD a new one! Your DH was out of order

HallowedMimic · 24/05/2017 07:51

I'd buy her another one before school if you have a shop nearby.

EdmundCleverClogs · 24/05/2017 07:53

It's not the biggest problem in the world, but it absolutely is a dick move. I'd be reading my partner the riot act as well for doing such a stupid, childish thing. This is the sort of things siblings do to each other, not a parent to a child. He needs to realise how bloody immature and meanly he's behave.

I suggest he gives her the pocket money back (or at least some) as an apology. Or perhaps she should start taking his stuff to show off at school without asking?

Peaceandl0ve · 24/05/2017 07:56

Is it only me, it is one of those silly fad things? The father was swrong but does the action really warrant the comments above, there is worse going on in the world.

Mermaidinthesea123 · 24/05/2017 07:58

It works the other way too - I remember getting saddled with my son's wretched tamagotchi at work for weeks on end in the 90's!!!!

Original poster
NapQueen · 24/05/2017 07:59

Peace which is why Im keeping perspecive on the whole thing. But the atrocities which have happened, and to which this is absoloutley uncomparable, doesnt change what he did and that it was selfish.

No option to rebuy her one, have just dropped her at CMs abd dh will be collecting her at 4.30. Hopefully with his tail between his legs

OP posts:
AnathemaPulsifer · 24/05/2017 07:59

Peace it doesn't matter what stupid toy it is, it's a cruel thing to do to a child who has saved up and waited a week for delivery. Not thoughtless, because he knew she'd be upset. Very, very selfish.

MummyMuppet2x2 · 24/05/2017 08:02

He acted thoughtlessly. YANBU

AyeAmarok · 24/05/2017 08:06

That was really quite a mean thing to do.

Neutrogena · 24/05/2017 08:08

Supersoaryflappypigeon - 'stolen from a child' makes it sounds like he has just snatched it out of a random child's hand in the park.
Hyperbole much?

This is minor - move on OP and let it go.
Yes, OH is a fool, but let it go or the resentment will build. You have shared it, now accept it and move on.

diddl · 24/05/2017 08:08

He was thoughtless, but it's not as if she could take it to school.

She'll have to wait until he gets in for it is all.

You're fucking furious, she needs consoling-bit ott!

user1491572121 · 24/05/2017 08:11

Aren't they like...a couple of pounds or something? Why make her save for three weeks!? I just got my DD to do some jobs around the house and gave her enough to buy one that evening.

Mistressiggi · 24/05/2017 08:14

it's not as if she could take it to school
hahahahahah
They are everywhere in schools at the moment.

Peaceandl0ve · 24/05/2017 08:15

I agreed that it was wrong but did it really warrant a sweary reaction? I reseve the sweary stuff for more serious issues. At five years old my children would have been upset but they would equally have been distractable!

gamerchick · 24/05/2017 08:15

Is it only me, it is one of those silly fad things? The father was swrong but does the action really warrant the comments above, there is worse going on in the world

Yes there is always shit going on in the world but you tell me. If you saved for something you really wanted and the day after it arrived you found someone else had taken it without asking and hadn't asked you because you're would have said no. Would you serenely just let it go because bad things were happening in the world?

No you wouldn't, you would be fucking annoyed.

AyeAmarok · 24/05/2017 08:17

It wasn't "thoughtless" though, he thought about it long enough to know that she would be upset if he did it, but he'd do it anyway but not tell her beforehand so someone else could deal with her whinging.

diddl · 24/05/2017 08:19

If there are so many about, why would he needto take it into school to show the kids?

icelollycraving · 24/05/2017 08:20

You are overreacting. Your child was disappointed obviously but don't things ever just get mislaid in your house mine feels chaotic,one more toy I wouldn't register.
Make sure he brings it home tonight. Maybe pick another up in case he forgets.
I am a. It precious over ds but I couldn't het up over this.

RJnomore1 · 24/05/2017 08:20

I'd make him give her back the money for it.

She's had delayed gratification enough saving waiting for the post (although TBH saving for something you can buy for about £2 on amazon and what a month waitcin total is already a bit excessive, I'd have set a chore to do then ordered on completion)

Yes there's worse things happening in the works but that should make us more careful we treat our children well and teach them to treat others well by modelling, not wrap us in little bubbles of - what is the word I want?