To be fucking furious with dh

[NapQueen]

Over a fidget spinner of all things!

Dd (5) wanted a fidget spinner. We started giving her pocket money so she could save for one. After three weeks she had enough. Dh ordered her one from ebay (dunno why he didnt just take her to a shop to buy one but hey ho). It took the best part of a week to arrive.

Arrived yesterday. She had a play with it before bed. This morning she got up and after breakfast and getting dressed went to get her fidget spinner. It wasnt where we left it so had a scout round - no sign. I text dh (he had left for work 10 mins prior to her asking) and he had taken it.

He works in a school for sen kids and wanted to show oneof the kids. Im fucking furious! Its her toy, which she saved for and waited a bloody week on top of that for and day one he has taken it to work with him. Without asking her. Im all for these things being used as a concentration tool etc buy ffs!! Its not his!

I rang him and he said "I didnt ask her as I thought she would winge" of course she would and for good reason! So im the one left to console her. I mean, its a fidget spinner, so she will get over it, but at the moment this is a big deal.

How fucking selfish

Justdontgetitatall

How is saying £10 is literally pennies, me trying to imply that I am rich?

Oh please, the only time I have seen someone grateful of receiving £10 is when I've given it to a homeless person on the street.

Good gracious, as he works in an SEN school wouldn't it have been in order to say, dads taken this to show some child who isn't as lucky as you are, he will be bringing it home later OR, I will get you another, what a load of fuss , it's how you explain to kids.

Banned from most schools. I would make him grovel to apologise to DD.

Oh please, the only time I have seen someone grateful of receiving £10 is when I've given it to a homeless person on the street

Oh you not for real, are you...

Yes, the OP could have tried to 'spin' it to her dd - but wouldn't it have been better if the dad had had a little consideration for his dd instead of stealthily swiping her special toy, @yetmorecrap?

Do you mean to sound like such a dick whereisthelikebutton or does it just come naturally?

I would be f ing furious. Yanbu.

You wouldn't do that to another adult s possessions. What makes it ok to do it to your child's. His reason as well... I would be prepared to have am epic fall out over this one and I am pretty laid back with most things

Raggy she did it because she wanted the poster for my cousin and didn't seem to grasp that it belonged to me. Unfortunately she had form for that type of behaviour.

Think that ridiculous behaviour. Speaking from experience isn't his school already overrun with the things without him taking one from his own daughter! Don't understand his logic at all!

whereisthelikebutton Your posts are unbelievable .

She's at school today, right? And she couldn't take it with her either, and he's going to bring it back home with him tonight?

It was selfish, it was thoughtless, but it's not exactly going to set her on a road to a life of doomed relationships, assuming that everything else in her life is stable and well-adjusted, surely?

£10 is a lot of money when your struggling and have to choose between eating and having heating

I think *whereisthelikebuttons posts are either poor attempt to aggravate people or she is one of the hopefully few people in this country who don't have a clue how some people have to live.
Not actually sure which one is worse

I would never make my two save up for a toy.

Well aren't you fucking wonderful?

whereisthelikebutton

You must feel so proud throwing tenners around willy nilly. Good for you, give your head a wobble you dont know how other people have to make £10 go a very long way. £10 could be the difference between eating and not eating this week for some people.

Its much better that a child learns to earn a bit of money and save up to get something they want, handing out money every time they ask for something doesnt do them any favours in the long run.

Stop being goady.

Your H is a selfish prick. Is he so keen to impress at work that he would treat your daughter like crap? I would be looking for the exit....

Hmmm and people wonder why some kids grow up entilted nowadays . I thought I was being mum of the year buying my kid a £3 book when it wasn't his birthday.
(Actually I don't believe in the nowadays crap there have always been entilted people around)

OlennasWimple not only are you a bit late with your comments (24hrs) the schools are full of kids with spinners. Of course she could have taken it to school and played with it during breaks.

Her dad had no right to stop HER playing with it so he could take it for OTHER kids to play with. She has been looking forward to it for ages yet he can turn around and just take it without her permission? He was too big a coward to ask her because he KNEW it was wrong and she would have said no. Unbelievable behaviour for someone who works with kids.

YANBU - that is an awful example to set to your DD.

No one feels injustice greater than a child.

Blimey! This is ridiculous. What a total over-reaction.

OK, so it wasn't the best idea to borrow it without asking but it's really not that big a deal is it? How is the OP spending the day fuming about this and having a showdown with her DH supposed to help the daughter? Yes, acknowledge that she is upset about it and then help her to gain some perspective. Don't blow it up out of all proportion.

Its a bit like - I save, work hard and pick up extra shifts to buy my dream convertible car. I buy it and go to sleep excited in the know that it is going to be a sunny day tomorrow, dreaming of where I will drive in my new car! I has taken me 3 months of overtime to save up and the next day I wake up and find my husband took my car to get to work because he wanted to show it off to his colleagues. It is definately not unusual to be furious with this taking without asking behaviour. This was definitely not allowed in our house when I was a child and is not allowed in ,my house now either!

Yes. Why not teach her that really inconsiderate behaviour by someone who is supposed to love and treasure her, is just something she should suck up. Great life lesson.

Your DH didn't ask for permission to take the FS from your DD as he knew she'd be upset.

But did it anyway.

How dismissive of her feelings.

Whereis We are pretty well off and technically could buy the kids every toy they have ever wanted and 20 more just for luck.

We don't though - one day they will be adults and will need to learn how to manage a budget. Giving them pocket money and getting having them save up for a toy they really want (and choose between getting stickers this week or waiting a week and getting the much coveted paw patrol toy) is the very first step in what is something that they really need to learn.

They have lots of toys but they do not need - and it isn't good for them - to have every toy that they have ever seen and thought "ooh" about.

(Although I do confess that I have told Dd - who has just started to read novels by herself - that there is no such thing as too many books and every time she finishes a book I will buy her another one. But that is because I worship books.)

Oh blah. I'd be mad. I get mad when DP eats my food though IAVU generally hehe.