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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Taking DD on holiday

32 replies

SuperLoveFuzz · 22/05/2017 18:16

I'm a lone parent to DD aged 3 and we're away on our little holiday. Just to a chalet in the UK for a few nights. Whenever I have mentioned it to friends, colleagues and family members they tend to ask, just you and DD? Then seem a bit taken aback when I say it is. I'm definitely not imagining it because of a chip on my shoulder about being a single mum or anything, I hadn't even considered it was strange in any way until people started having these reactions. One of my close friends (who is also a single parent!) suggested we go away together with our kids instead. I said we could maybe look to get a cheap caravan deal later in summer but I'd like this one to be just me and DD. She asked why and I said it's our family holiday. Surely that should be obvious though! AIBU to think it's completely normal to take my daughter on holiday on my own and be confused by the reactions?

OP posts:
SashaSashays · 22/05/2017 18:21

Its no abnormal but I expect its because in the main holidays are associated with treating yourself/relaxation.

Typically being one to one with a three year old for days in a row without any outside input doesn't fall into that category for most people.

It wouldn't be my idea of a holiday until my child was older.Also its very common for people who aren't single parents to go on family holidays with others as then you can each get some child-free time and they have play mates so you don't have to entertain them all the time.

I wouldn't care what anyone else thought though.

BackforGood · 22/05/2017 18:21

YANBU. Perfectly normal thing to do.
Going away with another family can ruin a friendship!

LockedOutOfMN · 22/05/2017 18:23

Sounds lovely, enjoy. The fewer people to please, the more you can relax and do what the two of you really want!

Kokusai · 22/05/2017 18:23

I think it sounds normal and nice!

Kokusai · 22/05/2017 18:24

The fewer people to please, the more you can relax and do what the two of you really want!

Exactly! Much easier to keep one three year old happy on holiday than a whole family.

Ditsy1980 · 22/05/2017 18:24

I go back on holiday with DD (7). Like you say, it's our family holiday, just me and her.
However, no-one has ever said anything negative to me or made any comment about it.

PeppercornIsMime · 22/05/2017 18:25

Im a single parent of four and I take mine away alone every year. They wouldn't get a holiday otherwise!
My ex has taken his three (DD 3 is from current new relationship) for the first time and has taken other family members with him for support.
I have to admit, I hate the holiday personally, when alone for a week with three kids. It's quite lonely for me. But if you enjoy it then don't be put off!

GaelicSiog · 22/05/2017 18:26

I did this. I still do it, it's still just me and DD, but she's nearly 8 now. Absolutely go for it. The time together has no value.

zeezeek · 22/05/2017 18:27

Why on earth would anyone think that it's not normal? A holiday is about doing something different as well as relaxing. Ignore them and go and enjoy yourselves.

I'm married but at least twice a year I take myself off with just my girls for a little holiday. It's such a precious time for all three of us. They do the same with their dad too.

Original poster
SuperLoveFuzz · 22/05/2017 18:29

Reassured by the replies! We've had a fun day today having lunch out and a little boat trip (even though it was pouring rain ☔️). As PPs have said, it's not the greatest holiday in the world for me, especially when she goes to bed, but it is so exciting for DD.

OP posts:
MrTumblesbitch · 22/05/2017 18:29

Oh I get asked this too! If always makes me second guess myself too, like am I weird for not wanting to go with other people!

I'm quite vocal now about how ds and I enjoy our little adventures, as that tends to nip it in the bud. Have a lovely holiday!

Original poster
SuperLoveFuzz · 22/05/2017 18:30

And spending time together away from the stresses of daily life and work is great too :)

OP posts:
AgnesNitt1976 · 22/05/2017 18:32

Been a single parent for 13 years and had plenty of holidays just my DD and I. The vast majority were fantastic and I found holidays with friends and family to be far more stressful.

We are off to Greece this October just DD15 and I and am looking forward to it.

Go enjoy yourself and don't worry what others think or say.

Hulababy · 22/05/2017 18:33

Perfectly normally to have a holiday for just immediate family, regardless of if your immediate family is made up of 2 or 10.
Sounds like you had a lovely day today on holiday - enjoy it!

NoDramasPlease · 22/05/2017 18:35

Perfectly normal. I often go on holiday just me and ds and yes I've had the Shock look from others when I've mentioned this. He's older now but my favourite holiday was my first one abroad with him age 3, we had the most blissful 2 hour siestas every day and the beach to ourselves early mornings. A friend of mine keeps trying to get me to go away with her and her dd and I can't think of anything worse. Other people stress me out on holiday, much more relaxing just the 2 of us. Enjoy OP.

SisterhoodisPowerful · 22/05/2017 18:40

Sometimes the best holidays are these ones. Just enjoying yourself and your DD. Don't let anyone talk you out of this.

Hissy · 22/05/2017 18:41

Oh good grief, I've travelled all over the world with my ds, from the age of 18m upwards!

I love spending time with him! He's 11 now but he's a joy to be with in general

I have to say around 5yo for a villa holiday was hard work, not being able to take my eyes off him for a second around the pool etc, but it's short lived and I love his company

Enjoy your holiday! Smile

NapQueen · 22/05/2017 18:41

Maybe they just think they would be bored?

It appeals to me. One to one time, no pressure on meeting needs of different kids or adults. Little one to bed shattered and bit own time with nibbles and wine.

In fact, which one of my two shall I take away???

Original poster
SuperLoveFuzz · 22/05/2017 18:49

It's nice to just head out for the day and do whatever we fancy without having to consider other people or make plans. Can see the appeal of going with my friend and her son which is why I suggested doing it as well as but not instead of. It's a different thing altogether, not a family holiday really. Was regretting the lack of wine and snacks last night (first night here) but have sorted that out for tonight Wine

OP posts:
Starlight2345 · 22/05/2017 18:54

I go with just me and DS..I used to go with my sister she drove me crackers.

Now I go just me and DS..WE do just what we want it is much better.

Enjoy your break

Madwoman5 · 22/05/2017 19:00

Sounds lovely. Enjoy!

BrigitteTrogneux64 · 22/05/2017 19:01

Enjoy yourself, OP. DD and I are having a little trip next week - we're very excited to be staying in a Premier Inn 😄

Toysaurus · 22/05/2017 19:05

Totally normal. Single parent of two here and we always do family holidays just the three of us. We love it.

ilovegin112 · 22/05/2017 19:09

Enjoy yourself, I love going away with my ds 17 I just wish I started doing it earlier

TheRealPooTroll · 22/05/2017 19:12

I think there are a lot of people who need support from another adult to do anything out of their normal routine. Most single parents I know would take their mum or sibling with them on holiday.
Sounds lovely just you and your dd though.