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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get out and about with our newborn?

43 replies

FanaticalFox · 11/05/2017 16:19

DD is our first baby and now 11 days old Smile

I had a c section and she is solely formula fed as I was completely unable to breastfeed sadly as i really wanted to. Due to both these things I've felt 100% myself within about a week after the c section and I've made myself get out and about with DD and DH. We've been on little walks to the park and shop, a few visits to family homes, a few car journeys to shops and cafe lunches etc but I never really want to be out more than about 2 hours as she feeds every 2 hours roughly and I haven't yet changed her nappy out except family homes and I'm not sure yet what places have changing facilities and whats the etiquette!? Do i bring the pushchair into the toilets if I'm alone? Not sure so I've avoided that bit even though at the moment I could just take the baby and leave the pushchair etc with DH or vice versa. Anyway I digress.

Alot of friends have said to me they're surprised I've been out and about and feel like i want to as they mainly spent the first 2 months or so just watching netflix and "cluster feeding" with no sleep etc. Have we been lucky with an easy going baby so far or am i doing too much?

OP posts:
furryelephant · 11/05/2017 16:25

You do what you feel you want to do! There's no right or wrong SmileI was out Christmas shopping after 10 days (did feel like I was dying for most of it!). When DD was small it was much easier as she'd just nap or lie happily in the prank, now she hates the car and 9/10 times hates the pushchair and won't nap unless I rock her to sleep... make the most of it Grinand congrats!

SquatBetty · 11/05/2017 16:26

No it's lovely taking your baby out for a walk. I'm 36 weeks with my 2nd and can't wait to start doing all the local walks again hopefully in the sun with baby in pram.

As for changing baby while out and about, it depends on where the changing table is (and just ask staff if you're not sure). There'll be room for the pushchair in some places and not in others. But it'll be fine to leave it outside if there's no room to take it in.

Dianneabbottsmathsteacher · 11/05/2017 16:29

Do what suits you op personally I went stir crazy at home and took a 16 month old and a 6 week old on the bus daily to get out of the house and didn't have a car. Grin

Regards toilets all big supermarkets have changing facilities and yes take your push chair where you want.

Pinkheart5917 · 11/05/2017 16:30

Places like shopping centres, supermarkets, restaurants your have no trouble finding baby change. Parks in my experience it depends on the park some have, some don't, some are clean some not so clean.

Yes I always take the pushchair in with me if I'm alone

With a newborn I'd take the pushchair in tbh even if someone is with you, as the baby gets bigger you can start leaving the pushchair with dh/friend etc.

I don't think there is an etiquette as much, just leave the baby change clean ( I.e nappy/wipes in bin etc)

I didn't have a c section so I don't know what that feels like but if you feel you aren't doing too much, I assume it's ok. Just listen to your body if it's telling you to rest or whatever.
I was out and about pretty soon after my dc too, I'm the sort of person that has to get out I hate being inside all the time but I did and still do have easy babies

2014newme · 11/05/2017 16:31

Do what you want!

FittonTower · 11/05/2017 16:35

In some respects you're "lucky". I had 2 emergency sections and with my first I recovered quickly and she loved being out in the pram, my second I was very very ill after and struggled to leave the house for a few months so I watched a lot of telly and slept while other people took my children out for me!
People like to tell you their " stories" from when they had tiny babies - they might not be telling you that you're doing anything wrong, just that they were different.

Cheby · 11/05/2017 16:44

YY to doing what you want and are comfortable with.

Re nappy changing; if you get really stuck and can't find anywhere, just put the change mat in the pram and change the nappy in there.

AssassinatedBeauty · 11/05/2017 17:01

You aren't doing too much if you're coping with it. People recover differently, no one way is better or worse. The first few weeks with breastfeeding can be quite intense if your baby does cluster feed a lot, which might be what your friends are referring to. Also it's nice to have a late spring baby as the days are long and the weather is ok. If you have your baby in the middle of winter then staying in and watching Netflix might be more appealing.

Figgygal · 11/05/2017 17:05

Everyone's different

Both mine were born in winter so I was happy to stay in if you feel well enough to be out great but take it easy. I prob did too much with ds2 post section and I did find I tired easily those first few weeks

pastabest · 11/05/2017 17:13

I was exactly the same (minus the c-section) and thought I was winning at newborning, then at about 15 days old she found her lungs and for the next 10 weeks pretty much screamed constantly if she wasn't feeding or sleeping.

So make the most of it and hope it continues if you are feeling confident Smile and congratulations! Flowers

londonrach · 11/05/2017 17:19

I was the same op. Dd was ff too. It was lovely going out with a new born as everyone stopped you to talk to you. I suspect its the reason i didnt get pnd. Do what you feel you can but enjoy your new born. I miss those days. The milk drunk look. Cuddling into you. Congratulations xx

PatriciaHolm · 11/05/2017 17:21

do whatever suits you! I was out to dinner with DD when she was 4 days old (elective section, bf).

londonrach · 11/05/2017 17:21

I disnt have c section though

Marmalade85 · 11/05/2017 17:25

I had a c-section and was out when I got home on the third day. The best way to heal a c-section is by walking. I was xmas shopping on xmas eve in Canary Wharf with a 13 day old and I used the tube to get there.

welshweasel · 11/05/2017 17:28

Do what you feel like, there's no right or wrong. I had a c section and was out and about within a few days. We spent most of DHs paternity leave going for lovely pub lunches with wine, mooching round the shops, going out for dinner with sleeping baby. I found the first few months great for getting out and about, it all changed when he started moving and becoming demanding!

Kintan · 11/05/2017 17:32

We took our newborn out and about with us from when he was about 5 days old. We had people say similar things to us and they expressed surprise that we weren't stuck at home for the first couple of months! I found their attitude a bit odd but did wonder whether we had a particularly easy baby! Just do what's right for you, and congratulations!

Applesandpears23 · 11/05/2017 17:35

If your bleeding gets worse or restarts that can be a sign you are doing too much. I would also avoid taking the baby anywhere in doors that is very crowded as the more people coughing/sneezing near them the more risk.

Marmalade85 · 11/05/2017 17:37

Yes the earlier days are the easiest as the baby will sleep for hours. Get out and enjoy it!

NotAnotherUserName5 · 11/05/2017 17:37

Go with the flow, do it your way. There really is no right or wrong.

Congratulations!! Flowers

monkeyfacegrace · 11/05/2017 17:38

Try to stop comparing already. You'll set yourself up for a lifetime of competitive parenting.

Fwiw, I dropped my dd2 on Fri night, got discharged and popped into tesco en route home for pizza and a bottle of wine, and then got up the next morning and walked the dog for a few miles as normal.

Dd1 and I was 18,no fucking clue what I was doing, stayed on hospital for 3 days and then struggled to leave the house before 3pm every day as baby always seemed to need something.

Stop. Comparing.

MommaGee · 11/05/2017 17:44

Lots of baby changes are in the disabled loo so you can wheel pushchaor in, have a wee and change baby.

Otherwise i pull pushchaor into the cubicle and leave the door open

ChocolateRaisin09 · 11/05/2017 18:08

I could be wrong but I do think the breast feeding thing feels like a nightmare at the start (just me?) It takes time to get used to wopping your boobs out in public and feeding can be so awkward and painful and you're all swollen and leaky- that's what put me off going out much at first.
You go girl, frresh air and socialising is good for both of you! Congratulations!

Lozzy5790 · 11/05/2017 18:56

Not at all unreasonable. I took my baby for a walk around the park the day after she was born. Almost collapsed afterwards but felt so much better for it, and I breastfed her on a park bench at a few days old.

I'm just not one of those people who can stay indoors and watch telly so I made getting out my priority. Other people want to spend more time at home at first - you do you and enjoy yourself while you're at it!

JohnLapsleyParlabane · 11/05/2017 19:00

Mothercare usually have decent toilets and OK changing rooms with comfortable seats and a bottle warmer. John Lewis also good.

DontFundHate · 11/05/2017 19:02

Do whatever makes you happy. I was out and about regularly despite the cluster feeding. Everyone is different