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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be livid with my 11 year old?

92 replies

TinfoilHattie · 09/05/2017 18:34

She has been seeing an orthodontist for a few months and was fitted with braces in March. Not the train track ones, the plates which clip over the teeth and can be removed for eating and tooth brushing. She quickly developed a habit of clicking the braces in and out with her tongue and surprise surprise, the upper brace broke after 3 weeks. So we go through the whole palaver of more appointments, more impressions, more time for me taking her back and forward for appointments. Second set fitted two weeks ago.

And she's broken the second fucking brace in exactly the same fucking way. We got away without paying for the first replacement, don't think we'll be as lucky a second time. I am LIVID. She is sulking in her room and feeling sorry for herself.

OP posts:
Imaginingdragonsagain · 09/05/2017 18:36

YANBU to be cross but she might not really know she's doing it. Habits are hard to break.

Trb17 · 09/05/2017 18:39

YANBU to be pissed off. I'd be furious. I'd consider asking dentist for fixed braces instead as this might be a habit she repeats many times otherwise.

Original poster
TinfoilHattie · 09/05/2017 18:45

I don't think fixed are an option - she has to have the plate type for however long before moving onto the train track type. I am so, so cross with her.

OP posts:
Hedgeh0g · 09/05/2017 18:46

Get fixed braces. I had one of the type your dd had as a teenager. I did the same thing with my tongue. It might have fixed my teeth for a very short time, then they shifted again. I ended up paying to get fixed braces as an adult to get them done properly.

Hedgeh0g · 09/05/2017 18:48

Sorry, cross posted. I can see why you're livid, but having done it myself, it is a really hard habit to break. The plate is there all the time, right by your tongue, and it's bloody annoying. Which isn't to say your dd doesn't need to learn to stop doing it. Can she contribute to the cost of the replacement?

Nocabbageinmyeye · 09/05/2017 19:13

I'd be making my DD pay at least half the cost with the warning that it would be full cost if happened again, I bet the habit would be easier to break then

MrsPussinBoots · 09/05/2017 19:22

I had a brace like this and did the clicking thing. Once I started doing it I couldn't stop myself - didn't even realise I was doing it. It's like having a restless leg.
YANBU to be furious if you have to pay to replace it, but she might need your help to stop clicking.

Wickmum75 · 09/05/2017 19:28

Is the plate to correct an overbite? You can use elastics with a fixed brace, this cuts down the treatment time as well. My 12 year old is 9 months into treatment- 12mm over bite and protruding teeth after an accident - we've got around 5 weeks until they come off. He did not get on with a plate at all, worth asking about

Original poster
TinfoilHattie · 09/05/2017 19:42

I will be asking about alternatives when we next see the orthodontist - we can't carry on with new braces every 2 weeks. If plates are the only option I shal be taking her phone away for the day every time I catch her clicking - that should sort her out pretty quickly.

Still very cross about it all.

OP posts:
Annahibiscuits · 09/05/2017 19:45

You are being really horrid to your dd. She hasn't done this on purpose. They are horrible things to have to wear

Plus, braces can have a really awful impact on a growing child's spine

Tainbri · 09/05/2017 19:53

I understand why you're cross but if you take a step back, how does your dd actually feel about the brace full stop? Does she have a choice? Is it your decision that she wears one? I know plenty of kids do but if she's being forced into it, maybe she doesn't respect it and will resent it anyway? Just throwing it into the mix.

Seryph · 09/05/2017 20:12

I had to wear one of these after I had my train tracks off as a teenager, and yes I used to click it on and off with my tongue. I also used to take it out in my sleep too. Which is about when I stopped wearing it.

My DDad just had a partial denture fitted that has the same plate and guess what, within two weeks he was doing the same thing!

AlexaAmbidextra · 09/05/2017 20:15

Anna. Not being arsey - genuinely curious. How do braces on the teeth affect the spine?

AndNowItIsSeven · 09/05/2017 20:18

Braces for your teeth Anna.

SmokeCloak · 09/05/2017 20:20

You are being a bit of a cow to your DD. It's really hard to break a habit.

How long are you going to be fucking livid with her?

Lovelilies · 09/05/2017 20:21

My 11 yo DD has twin blocks. She will NOT wear the bloody things. Says they hurt, but won't give her mouth a chance to get used to them.
She has super sticky out teeth so really needs them but I don't know what to do!

Sciurus83 · 09/05/2017 20:25

Don't be so angry. Braces are awful, I had them for over a decade and 15 years later still have nightmares about them and how uncomfortable they are. You can help but fiddle with them, they are in your mouth and uncomfortable and yes they break sometimes. Cut her some slack.

BrickInTheWall · 09/05/2017 20:26

I can see it is infuriating she has broken two in a short space of time but I agree with PP.. It is really hard to break a habit like that. It's difficult to leave something alone that feels foreign in your mouth.

Is it possible they could tighten it slightly so that it doesn't click up and down so easily? I'm sure I had one as a teenager that felt quite stiff.

MuseumGardens · 09/05/2017 20:33

It might be like tooth grinding which is bad for your teeth but I can't stop doing as i don't realise I'm doing it.

runloganrun101 · 09/05/2017 20:35

I think you need to be honest with her. She either stops doing it or you stop replacing the braces and she'll have to live with stick outy teeth or whatever she has until she's an adult and can pay for it herself. She's 11 that's plenty old enough to know that you can't keep forking out for a new brace so often.

runloganrun101 · 09/05/2017 20:36

I think you need to be honest with her. She either stops doing it or you stop replacing the braces and she'll have to live with stick outy teeth or whatever she has until she's an adult and can pay for it herself. She's 11 that's plenty old enough to know that you can't keep forking out for a new brace so often.

kali110 · 09/05/2017 20:39

Yanbu to be angry, however habits are hArd to break. Your dd probably doesn't even realize she is doing it!
I have a few habbits that i annoy my dh with constantly, i don't even notice i'm doing them!

kali110 · 09/05/2017 20:40

Plus, braces can have a really awful impact on a growing child's spine
What??

Bluetrews25 · 09/05/2017 20:45

Agree that taking phone away for the day every time she clicks it is good, as is expecting a financial contribution.
When I had to give up thumbsucking as a teen when I got my brace, (a teen, I know! Very entrenched habit by then) I made a promise to my family that they could have a week's pocket money back off me if they ever caught me doing it again. They never caught me, and I never did it in private, either. Bloody hard, though!
Maybe also try an elastic band to snap around the wrist as a replacement habit, but this can be irritating, too!

Floggingmolly · 09/05/2017 20:48

Spine?? Even if Anna has confused it with a back brace, wouldn't the whole point of that be to have an affect on your spine?