to want my MIL gone after only 6 hours?

[meowmix]

I'm not sure I can take another 13 days of this. She keeps pointing and saying things like "oooh look they have sofas in the middle east too", "oooh look at that man he's wearing a dress" (that would be thobe you ignorant cretin)

WTF did she think? did she really think we've been sat on the floor for 9 months?

But kudos to her for slipping in a dig about my housekeeping standards within the first ten minutes in the house. "oooh it must be hard keeping this dusted what with you working all the time"

[FX: hits head on desk repeatedly, chanting "must not maim.... must not maim..."]

oh deary me. The 'wearing a dress comment' bodes well....she's going to come out with some classics by the end of 13 days....do keep us entertained oops I mean informed

I would but will likely be in jail for assault with a deadly weapon or similar.

i really can't bear it.

ok then just keep posting with your prison diary then

what weapon are you fantasising about at the moment?

Oh meow - I can so sympathise. My MIL stayed for 2 weeks when DS was due - longest two weeks of my life.

I take it from reading your post that you are not in the UK and for her to go home would be more than a trip down the motorway??

Couldn't you tell her she could get stoned for pointing at people? This trip could be the perfect opportunity of scaring her into total whimpering submission.

Thank goodness you're working full-time though eh?

Ha Ha.

My MIL and obnoxious partner descended on us when we lived in Dubai - I don't remember being asked, she just informed me they were coming. They arrived at about 3am, leeched off us for 10 days, paid for nothing, got treated to the finest Dubaian hospitality (we were quite well-connected in those days!) and then left. Fortunately, my MIL is like Magda from 'There's Something About Mary' and spent all day, every day by the pool covered in cooking fat rather than going around pointing at people. Obnoxious partner, however whose motto is 'Everyone is entitled to my opinion' spent his days cruising for arabic victims upon whom he would bestow his opinions of how their country worked. Unfortunately he managed to escape jail and is set to marry MIL in July.
Bet they won't be honeymooning in Dubai...

(It's not free any more, now we are back in the UK)

current weapon of choice is my trusty stapler gun.

no its 3000 plus miles to her home. Gawd. Thankfully work is very busy AND I have a three day business trip next week, thank heavens. Its such a shame that it is such an essentially vital conference of the greatest possible ever ever importance in the great scheme of things.... don't you think?

Plan B is to drink. Heavily.

I ALWAYS have to turn to drink when in company of MIL for more than half a day. Very tricky throughout pregnancy, so had to constantly be "very tired" and go to bed at all times of day. My sympathies are with you - two weeks is a very very long time.

Six hours with my MIL would do my head in too. Can't imagine what she would be like in Dubai, she was bad enough in South London. I'm not sure whether my personal low point was when she looked out the car window as we were driving down Streatham High Road and remarked 'Oh it is nice to see at least a few white faces around here.' or the day I took her down my local high street and as she walked past some outdoor displays on the (very wide) pavement outside the shops said loudly 'How strange. I suppose it is what they do back in their own countries.