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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think school should have contacted me

20 replies

Wackadoodle84 · 26/04/2017 08:20

Got home from work yesterday evening to find DD aged 7 with a huge fat lip.

She fell at school during her morning break, and split lip open. At bed time yesterday evening it is still oozing slightly, very sore and swollen, gum underneath also looks bruised.

According to DD this happened on her morning break. She was in a lot of pain all day, unable to eat her lunch at next break due to pain/swelling.

If this happened to an adult they would surely take some type of analgesia but a child is expected to sit in pain? I'm not for one minute suggesting that the school takes on the responsibility of giving pain relief but surely this is where a phone call to the parents would come in?

My AIBU - am I being unreasonable to think the school should have contacted me. I have had no communication from them at all. Surely if I sent dd into school with a fat lip and offered no explanation there would be questions asked (and rightly so!) Yet they send her home with one and not so much as a note to explain?

OP posts:

Trb17 · 26/04/2017 08:24

At the very least I would expect a 'bump note' at home time to explain what happened. A mouth injury can have consequences for teeth etc so not just a grazed knee. I wouldn't go in guns blazing but I would certainly ask to speak to the head today to find out why they didn't feel it necessary to contact you or issue a bump note.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 26/04/2017 08:25

YANBU. If they didn't inform you then I imagine they've not completed an accident/incident form either.
Did your dd say what happened.
In the schools defence though. Did they know about it.

WonkoTheSane42 · 26/04/2017 08:26

You're being a bit precious. Kids fall, they get into scrapes, but they pick themselves up and it's not the end of the world. It's not like she had a head injury or a broken bone. I mean, it's a bruise essentially. I don't think schools would get much done if they had to phone parents every time such minor things happened.

Kerberos · 26/04/2017 08:27

This doesn't sound minor to me

Kerberos · 26/04/2017 08:27

And yes in my opinion they should have called you.

StrawberryJelly00 · 26/04/2017 08:29

Doesn't sound minor at all and you are right school would want an explanation if it was the other way around.

A note takes 5 seconds to scribble out I would definately go in and have a conversation with teachers and ask to see incident/accident report

my2bundles · 26/04/2017 08:31

They should have called you, there could have been damage to her teeth. Wonko this does not sound minor , a scrapped knee is minor not a split lip that us still swollen hours later.

bruffin · 26/04/2017 08:31

Did you r dd actually tell anyone it happened?

Miserylovescompany2 · 26/04/2017 08:31

You are most definitely not being unreasonable to expect at the very least an explanation to what has happened.

Personally, I'd ask to see the accident report and ask what the schools protocol is regarding injury to the face and head. Because her jaw could have been damaged if for example she feel face first on the ground or banged against something hard?

If she's still in pain I'd take her to the GP who might make a further referral.

Mumzypopz · 26/04/2017 08:34

Not minor at all...She split her lip open!! There would have been lots of blood. School must have known, she sat in lessons all day! I should imagine it's a case of one teacher thinking another teacher has dealt with it and all rushed off their feet. They should apologize though and put a procedure in place so as it doesn't happen again.

halcyondays · 26/04/2017 08:35

at our school you get an accident note for any scraped knee or whatever, or told that your dd bumped heads with a friend. they do sometimes phone if it's the sort of thing you describe.

SuburbanRhonda · 26/04/2017 08:37

Same thing happened to DS at secondary school when he slipped during gym because they were told to do it in their socks .

No call home, nothing in the accident book. His lip got infected as his teeth went through it.

I had words.

GrimmDays · 26/04/2017 08:43

They should absolutely have contacted you. I would be asking why. At the very least you should have had a letter home explaining and I would expect the teacher to physically tell you as well. I thought a letter home re injury was the minimum expected re safeguarding procedures.

When my DD did something similar (her tooth went into her lip when she fell) the headmistress and a TA she knows well took her to a&e for us and met us there because we were 40 mins from school and they didn't want her sat bleeding in pain for that long plus the 15 min a&e trip.

Mrdarcyfanclub · 26/04/2017 08:45

Schools get a bollocking whatever they do. If they ring to let people know, they would get complaints about being bothered at work for something minor. I know because my friend works in a school. I really wouldn't expect to be contacted about this, although maybe informed at the end of the day (although I wouldn't mind if they did contact me, either). It's v difficult keeping parents happy when someone complains whatever you do.

LottieDoubtie · 26/04/2017 08:48

Every school I've ever worked in as a policy of informing parents about facial injurys asap. I would complain about this not happening.

Original poster

Wackadoodle84 · 26/04/2017 08:48

Yes Bruffin she said Ms * brought her in and gave her some tissue and an ice pack. It's quite a small school, only four teachers in total including principal.

I've popped a note in her journal for her teacher to contact me. Definitely won't be storming in all guns blazing but would have expected at least some communication.

Lip is very dramatic looking this morning. Very swollen and still quite sore, she is currently attempting breakfast through the side of her mouth

OP posts:

honeycheeerios · 26/04/2017 08:50

YANBU

A scraped knee or a bruise is one thing, but a nasty injury to the mouth is completely different. It could affect teeth, and if it still oozing now could end up infected.

I would expect some form of communication for certain types of injuries so I could keep an eye on it and take further action if something still wasn't right.

Funnyface1 · 26/04/2017 08:50

Yes I've been called for less than that. I'd be pretty upset and would at least have expected an accident note but from what you've described it warranted more than that.

SparklyUnicornPoo · 26/04/2017 09:12

If its big and swollen and properly split then yes I'd have called home, not if it was just a little split lip that didn't seem to be bothering her though. As a general rule if I've felt it severe enough to take the child indoors, i.e. to get ice, its severe enough that parents need to know. Obviously I don't call about every grazed knee, because I'd never get off the phone but something like a fat lip there's risk of infection, I don't know if they have damaged their teeth and it hurts.

Original poster

Wackadoodle84 · 26/04/2017 09:27

*update

So principal met me at the school gate this morning.

Firstly, asked DD how she was feeling. Secondly, apologied for lack of communication. He had every intention of phoning yesterday evening but between one thing or another he didn't get to.

He explained what happened. She collided with an older child, pure accident, these things will happen.

He said it did bleed and they had an ice pack on it for quite a while. They didn't call because she genuinely seemed fine. I would have no trouble believing this because she is one of those 'hold it all in till I get home' type of kids.

OP posts:

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