To cancel a holiday

[bellalou1234]

Hello,
I'm due to go on holiday for 3 days next week with some friends, and really feel like not going, things always seem such a good idea 3 months ago, however it's crept up. I do cancel things a lot, however my mil is ill in hospital and feel I'll be needed at home, does that sound reasonable to cancel?

Not necessarily, it's like you are looking for an excuse?

What's the real reason you cancel on a regular basis??

Why don't you want to go? It doesn't sound like a great excuse with just that info Tbh. Your friends will just stop inviting you to anything.

If you are someone who habitually cancels then I think YABU.

If you hand on heart have to cancel because of MILs situation then YANBU.

Im wondering if MILs situation is being used as an excuse for whatever anxiety or whatever that usually causes you to pull out of stuff.

Why do you cancel things a lot? Your friends will be looking forward to seeing you. I'm sure you'll enjoy it when you're there. Also, if you're prone to cancelling, your friends will soon stop inviting you to things.

Are you really needed at home or is that just an excuse to cancel? Will your friends lose out financially if you don't go? You might not be invited to things if you do cancel a lot, as last minute changes can be inconvenient. Clearly if there's a good reason that can't be helped then fine. I don't know if you are needed at home so not sure if it's reasonable or not

"I do cancel things a lot,"

Why? Why do you say yes to things and then cancel? Do you suffer from anxiety? I read so many posts on MN from posters who have flakey friends who say yes and then cancel. It isn't a nice trait.

I can't really advise about whether you need to be there for your MIL. Will you visit her a lot? Does she have other family members who could visit her?

Even if you're just looking for an excuse: you don't have to go if you don't want to, OP. It's a holiday, do what you feel like doing.

"you don't have to go if you don't want to, OP."

Just don't say yes next time and keep letting your friends down.

I would go. It's only 3 days surely they can manage at home for 3 days even with hospital visiting.

I have social anxiety so always long to get out of things as they get close... It's really not on though so I just bite the bullet and make the most of it. Never as bad as I've feared. You shouldn't let your friends down if you can help it.

Flaky as hell.
Why bother saying you'll go.

I'm sorry OP but it drives me nuts when people do this to me.
Eventually I stop asking them.

Like others have said, I wonder why you say yes in the first place.

We went last year and had a great time, maybe in reflection I don't cancel as much as I think, if I do it's normally as have no money and give plenty notice. I've got a uni essay due in less than 2 weeks and only have this week to get it done, which is adding to the stress, plus with mil just feel stressed out

It doesn't sound reasonable and 3 days is a short time away. It's very short notice to cancel, so I don't think you should.

If you don't enjoy the holiday this time, remember that and simply don't agree to going in future.

She's very ill she had bowel cancer 2 years ago, she had an op last week where obstructions for found in her bowel, kidney so find out plan next Wednesday

It's only 3 days and the break might do you good. Power through on your essay work this week so you can relax properly when you're away.

They will stop asking you along, last minute drop outs are so frustrating when everyone else has a life of their own they have organised around a trip.

It's only 3 days. GO and enjoy yourself. It looks like you will need to break to face the next few weeks.

Agree, you may not get an opportunity for a break again for a while.

Sorry to hear about your MIL. Does she have anyone else around for her?

Yes she has a son and daughter,