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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Blocking all contact from abusive ex

10 replies

Littlefrogletx · 24/04/2017 18:05

My ex i have 2 dc 12 and 8 with him was and is still abusive
The only contact i could tolerate was a separate email address for child contact issues only.
He just cant stop with shitty insults criticising my parenting calling me names etc
I flipped and told him never to email again, send a letter in the post or contact my new partner on fb.
If thats not good enough i suggested he instructs a solicitor to send letters
We have set eow weekend arrangements, no court order
The email stated that the arrangements are to remain the same, ive told him not to use ds12 as a go between
Im sick of it. Sick of his nastiness and continued attempts at control.
Aibu?

OP posts:
ohdeaeyme · 24/04/2017 18:57

sounds sensible!

Littlefrogletx · 24/04/2017 20:33

I know he will tell me im a shit parent for doing it.
But Im not stopping access just stopping anything way of him being abusive.

OP posts:
Siwdmae · 24/04/2017 20:35

Can you arrange for handovers to be done by someone else?

Justanothernameonthepage · 24/04/2017 20:38

I would just make him go through a solicitor. And that if he sends one more abusive message you'll be going to the police. And then do it.

FairytalesAreBullshit · 24/04/2017 20:38

Can hand over be done by DP, maybe he'll think twice about being vile.

Littlefrogletx · 24/04/2017 20:53

None of my family want anything to do.with him, when we split he kept ringing my parents and turning up, he threatened to do it for ages then want through with it.
He wanted in his words to let them know what a slag i was.
He got told to go away, he has a harrassment order which he refusing to sign so he thinks it doesnt apply even though the police told him otherwise.
Oh and because i made it all up???
My dp doesnt live here, when they do pass in the local supermarket etc ex puts his head down and darent make eye contact but the verbal abuse he subjected me to was awful. I have ptsd on top of anxiety and depression because of him.

OP posts:
Littlefrogletx · 24/04/2017 21:04

Handovers, i hide in the kitchen, even the sound of his voice make me anxious

OP posts:
Sleepdeprivedredhead · 24/04/2017 21:07

I set up a rule. All emails went through another person she would resend pertinent bits of the emails (actually relevant) to me and him. All the abuse she kept.
Stripped all the emotion / slinging etc out. He also learned how to get to the point and be civil.
YANBU

ExtraPineappleExtraHam · 24/04/2017 21:10

Definitely not being unreasonable. Tosser.

Sleepdeprivedredhead · 24/04/2017 21:11

Mine also emailed horrendous details of our sex life to my gran etc and threatened my parents. Some people are nasty to their very core.
He's still really full of lies and shit about me. But i don't get the lengthy abusive rants anymore.
If something pisses me off now i am more able to just think "fuck you" and delete it. His opinion thankfully means less than nothing to me now.
(Labyrinth - you have no power over me) sad but true. My mantra for about 2 years.

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