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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think my friend lied about hospital appointment?

30 replies

MadisonMont · 19/04/2017 17:41

My friend tells quite a few lies, but they are generally very small and I'm unsure why she does it. I work with her as well.

She had the day off work because she found a lump and went for tests.

A week later she said she got a text saying her results were in and that she needed to come back into hospital urgently. So another day off work.

I went to her house to see afterwards and she said that they said they were just worried because her blood pressure was high

I hate doubting her but aibu to think she might have been lying?

OP posts:

RosesShouldBeInTins · 19/04/2017 17:43

That all sounds feasible, no?

Phoebefromfriends · 19/04/2017 17:46

Maybe the lump was in her vagina and she didn't want to talk about it, maybe the subsequent STI results showed something.

They would have spotted high blood pressure at the time so I doubt she'd be called back for that unless the hospital spotted it and her GP followed it up.

Why do you doubt her?

Hassled · 19/04/2017 17:47

It does sound a bit iffy - I mean they could well have picked up on the high blood pressure along the way and be concerned about it, but that's not the same as being called in for biopsy results, which is what she said was happening. But if it's a lie then it's a hell of big lie - and you say her lies are usually small ones.

Storminateapot · 19/04/2017 17:48

Hospitals don't text to call you back for investigations, surely? Blood pressure result is known at the time it's taken so they wouldn't call you in at a later date about it.
As an unfortunate sufferer of breast cancer I can tell you my bp has never been taken in the breast unit (chemo unit yes) when having scans, biopsies etc. Dread to think how high the stress would make it.

It doesn't sound very likely to me.

lalalalyra · 19/04/2017 17:52

The hospital I attend texts you to call them. It means the receptionists and admin staff can focus on making appointments when people ring rather than chasing folks around.

Not sure about the BP thing though. Could it have been a different department that called her? I had some tests at hospital but had to make a follow up appointment at my gp to have something re-checked - could it be something like that?

mynameislaura · 19/04/2017 17:53

In fairness when I had my routine smear test I got the results by text because they were all clear. I can't imagine getting a bad news text though. My dr rang me to discuss my last blood test and that was only to say I had low iron so hardly urgent! I agree with a pp though that maybe she was telling a little lie because it's more of an intimate area and she doesn't want it shouting about.

StarryIllusion · 19/04/2017 17:53

Perhaps it is personal and she just doesn't want to tell you.

Crumbs1 · 19/04/2017 17:58

No it's a bit unrealistic. Tests for 'lumps' are under two week wait. Results are delivered in a planned way.
Blood pressure would not usually be measured in relation to any lump investigation. Hospitals don't mange blood pressure GPs do (unless very rare causes of malignant hypertension).

LivingInMidnight · 19/04/2017 17:59

I get texts from the dr/hospital. I also sometimes only give people half the story if I really don't want to get into the whole thing. I'd just leave it to be honest.

WomblingThree · 19/04/2017 18:11

I'm not being arsey, but does it affect you if she is lying? Are you having to cover her job or run around helping her at home? If not, then I'd just forget it.

yorkshapudding · 19/04/2017 18:15

I would be willing to bet the appointments were for something of a more personal nature so she didn't want to give details. Nor should she have to.

HashiAsLarry · 19/04/2017 18:18

Did she tell you direct that she was getting the results or was that passed down to you?

Phoebefromfriends · 19/04/2017 18:22

Could she be pregnant and has had a MC or is having issues with a pregnancy? I would wait and see what happens.

DriveInSaturday · 19/04/2017 18:24

Surely she just doesn't want to tell you.

Ineverpromisedyouarosegarden · 19/04/2017 18:27

Maybe she was just anxious and felt the need to go home.

TheFairyCaravan · 19/04/2017 18:30

I get texts from the hospitals (3 different ones) and my GP if they want me to call them and can't get hold of me via my phone or landline.

I can remember being in my garden once and my neighbour was talking to another woman who I absolutely hate. She likes to know the ins and outs of a Nanny goat's backside about everyone. My neighbour said to her "her next door's got a hospital appointment tomorrow". Mrs Nosy Cunt said "yeah, she always says that, she just goes to sit in the carpark!"

SoupDragon · 19/04/2017 18:31

Perhaps she doesn't want to tell you because you like to discuss stuff on MN.

ghostyslovesheets · 19/04/2017 18:33

unless you are her manager agreeing the time off it's really not your concern

she is probably fobbing you off because she doesn't want you knowing her business and posting it all over the interweb

feathermucker · 19/04/2017 18:37

Perhaps she hasn't told you the whole truth because she finds you suspicious and disbelieving?!

AliceKlar · 19/04/2017 18:38

Ours is a big teaching hospital. The only texts I have ever had are appt reminders.

My GP discovered I had very high BP. He sent me to A&E as it was ridiculously high and wouldn't come down. A&E said I didn't need admitting and referred me for an urgent cardiology clinic appt. High BP would be discovered then and there if they had taken it at the hospital. They would I imagine then decide if she was in immediate danger of combusting and if so, admit her, or refer her for tests if not. Does sound bit unlikely.

Viviennemary · 19/04/2017 18:38

Who knows whether it's true or not. But you sound a bit overinvested in your friend's business. Take a step back.

WannaBe · 19/04/2017 18:42

To be fair though, if someone has a history of lying, even small lies, then when something bigger happens in their life it can be difficult to believe them.

I get texts confirming hospital appointments but if her blood pressure was high on the day it would have been flagged then, not a week later.

And IMO it matters because if the friend has a lump then undoubtedly people will want to be supportive. If she's lying then people will feel used/betrayed when it comes out that none of it was true.

DagenhamRoundhouse · 19/04/2017 18:43

You would not be texted the results of a lump biopsy. They'd either write to you, cc. GP, or they'd tell you at next consultant appointment. And BP is taken at a GP surgery except on rare occasions if you have a fever or heart problems.

rizlett · 19/04/2017 18:50

what difference would it make?

what would you do if you found out it was the truth?

and what would you do if you found out it was a lie?

seems odd to have a friend who isn't honest (and therefore has no trust) in the first place (even with small things) - what's the point if you don't know whether to believe anything she says?

Underbeneathsies · 19/04/2017 18:53

Why are you stalking her?
She's obviously not into you!

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