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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Lunch box police.... again!!

60 replies

Funnyfarmer · 11/04/2017 21:31

My dd 6 has been going to a holiday club during half terms for sometime now. She's only ever done afternoons though, but due to a change in my work pattern she now has to do some full days. Today was her 1st full day and it dawned on me I don't know what the arrangements are for dinner. Do they provide one? If so is it in with the fee or do I pay extra? So decided to do her packed lunch to be on the safe side. Dd was very excited by this. She's been asking for packed lunches for ages. When I got there I explained that I didn't know about lunch arrangements and she has brought a packed lunch. They said that's fine.
When I picked her up they said she hasn't eaten much of her packed lunch because she wanted to try the dinner they had provided. I found that a bit peculiar because of how exited she was to have her packed lunch. Anyway she said dd didn't like the cheesy broccoli pasta they had provided so she had some of her packed lunch which contained.
1 ham wrap, 1 pot of mixed berries, 1 frube, 1 packed of Crisp 1 mini lemmon tart and a juice box. All dd was aloud out of that was the wrap and the fruit. But they did allow her to eat the jam roly poly they had provided. Now I've heard about the lunch box police on here several times in schools but in holiday clubs? A holiday club that the main slogan is fun. They pride themselves on being nothing like school it's just all fun,fun,fun. Surly a break from school is a break from all these ridged food rules aswell or aibu?

OP posts:
ThePigletatwork · 11/04/2017 22:04

Are these people qualified in child nutrition in some way?
I'm betting not.
That is ridiculous.

Rainydayspending · 11/04/2017 22:05

What did she drink?

Original poster
Funnyfarmer · 11/04/2017 22:34

Not sure actually. She never said what she had to drink. Don't think she went thirsty though she would have said. I'm fairly sure she mentioned a while ago they each have there own water bottle. The thing is if they would have just said this morning "actually were quite strict on nutrition so we encourage they only eat what we provide so it's fair on everyone." That would have been fine. But that said nothing like that they said a packed lunch is fine. Never said "a packed lunch is fine aslong as it healthy"
Don't weather to send her with one tomorrow or not now. Still don't even know if I will be charged for the taste of the cheesy pasta and the jam poly.
They didn't even let her eat her frube! It's just a spoon full of yogurt fgs

OP posts:
00100001 · 11/04/2017 22:36

Tell them to fuck off your daughter will eat what you provide

peachgreen · 11/04/2017 22:43

Maybe they asked her what she'd prefer, the roly poly or the yoghurt / crisps and she chose the roly poly? A ham wrap, some fruit and pudding seems like plenty for lunch to me!

amy85 · 11/04/2017 22:50

Maybe it was your dd's choice...Maybe she chose the Roly poly over the rest of her lunchbox...Maybe she ate more of the pasta than you are thinking so therefore didn't need the crisps to go with the wrap...No one has said to you she wasn't allowed them due the holiday club rules so why accuse them of being the food police?

melj1213 · 11/04/2017 22:53

Hang on I'm confused ... where exactly was your daughter's packup policed?

You sent a packup but they provided food ... so it gets to mealtime and all the kids sit down for their lunch and your DD was given the choice to try the provided lunch. She chose the provided lunch but didn't like the main course so was allowed to supplement the small amount she did eat with the "main" bit from her packup (ie the wrap and fruit). The other children then went on to dessert ... she again was given the choice of their dessert or a dessert item from her pack up and she chose theirs. Since by this point she had had the same food as all the other children, the rest of her pack up was put away. (presumably if she had refused their dessert they would have given her something else from you had provided)

Where exactly is the problem or the policing?

Original poster
Funnyfarmer · 11/04/2017 22:58

I'm not bothered about the amount she had. Although she was hungry when she came out and dived straight in to her remaining packed lunch.
But it really seems like they have actively encouraged her not to eat her packed lunch and have the meal they have provided. She's waiting for this moment of having her own packed lunch for such a long time there is no way she would have chosen not to have it. Dd's exact words were "I wasn't aloud to eat my packed lunch. Only the wrap and fruit. I was only aloud that because I didn't like the cheesy pasta". She does like cheesy pasta. But she was so chuffed with her packed lunch this morning she would have chosen it over everything.
But why didn't they just tell me they don't really like them having packed lunches?

OP posts:
Original poster
Funnyfarmer · 11/04/2017 23:00

No she wasn't given a choice. She only had the jam roly poly because she wasn't aloud anything eles from her packed lunch

OP posts:
Original poster
Funnyfarmer · 11/04/2017 23:03

The staff told me she only tried the pasta
And my dd told me she wasn't aloud the rest

OP posts:
multivac · 11/04/2017 23:04

Today was her 1st full day and it dawned on me I don't know what the arrangements are for dinner. Do they provide one? If so is it in with the fee or do I pay extra? So decided to do her packed lunch to be on the safe side.

Personally, every time my children have been looked after by someone else, I've checked the catering arrangements in advance. Not guessed on the day then complained afterwards. Just a thought.

melj1213 · 11/04/2017 23:06

But it really seems like they have actively encouraged her not to eat her packed lunch and have the meal they have provided.

Probably because every other child there was eating their meal and didn't want to start a whole drama of "Miss! Why is LittleFarmer not having the same? I Want a wrap! I want yoghurt! I don't want this, I want something else!" so they encouraged her to at least try the food first ... if it had been something she liked and she had eaten it all instead, would you care they'd encouraged her to have what the rest of the children were eating?

But she was so chuffed with her packed lunch this morning she would have chosen it over everything.

My DD is often adamant that she wants X and won't shut up about it ... when she sees everyone else getting Y she suddenly changes her tune.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 11/04/2017 23:06

She's 6. 6 year olds aren't renown for relaying the situation that accurately. Just ask in the morning what she's allowed and what she isn't or does f they prefer them to have the lunch that's provided. Pack a bit more of the things she was allowed today & see what happens tomorrow.

...and chill out or you'll get a bloody hernia.

melj1213 · 11/04/2017 23:14

Don't weather to send her with one tomorrow or not now. Still don't even know if I will be charged for the taste of the cheesy pasta and the jam poly.

Why, oh why, after the initial confusion did you not clarify exactly what the process was when you picked her up?!

If it was my DD and I had been unsure and left her with the pack up in the morning, when it came to pick up I would have been asking to have a quick chat, asked what had happened at lunch that day, whether she had eaten their meal or her own, what she had eaten, and clarified the plan was to be in future - are pack ups common or was your DD the only one? Do they have a set menu you can see in advance? Any allergy issues/food concerns? Do you pay a set fee for meals or can you pay per day and send pack ups on the other days? etcetc

ollieplimsoles · 11/04/2017 23:14

She's 6. 6 year olds aren't renown for relaying the situation that accurately

I dont like this attitude at all^ attitudes like this are why children go on being abused, they aren't taken seriously. Instead of assuming your child must be remembering wrongly- why not probe them further or trust them a bit.

I don't like it op, why were they interfering of even touching your daughter's possessions? Its her food they had no right to take anything away from her.

Original poster
Funnyfarmer · 11/04/2017 23:14

Well done on your organisation skills @multivac.
@melj1213 so why didn't they just tell me they don't really have children having packed lunches. I would have been fine with that and that's your dd not mine.
@AnnieAnoniMouse I am calm. Just wanted to know if this was Common in holiday clubs. Knew it was in schools but didn't know about holiday clubs. Always thought they was much more relaxed

OP posts:
ollieplimsoles · 11/04/2017 23:17

Personally, every time my children have been looked after by someone else, I've checked the catering arrangements in advance. Not guessed on the day then complained afterwards. Just a thought.

Well give yourself a nice big slow round of applause. Some of us live in the real world, where life gets rather hectic and things can slip our minds every once in a while.

multivac · 11/04/2017 23:22

Yup. The real world. Where people work, and have to organise childcare - often at the last minute. 'How are you going to feed them?' was usually one of the first questions.

Original poster
Funnyfarmer · 11/04/2017 23:24

@melj1213 because I didn't really know anything until I got in the car. All the staff told me is " she didn't eat all of her packed lunch" she tried some cheesy pasta put didn't like it" so she had some of her own packed lunch" didn't really seem much to discuss at the time. I'm not conserd with what/ where how she ate. If she's hungry she will eat if not she won't. Her eating has never been an issue. As I've said I just wanted to know if this is common? And I'm a bit confused as to why they didn't tell me do's and dont' s regarding packed lunches

OP posts:
dustpan · 11/04/2017 23:25

I'm pretty shocked by some of the responses on this thread! Seems to me like the OP felt a bit judged about what she put in her kids lunchbox. Some of the sharp replies about organisation skills etc would surely just add to that feeling? It sounds mean.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 11/04/2017 23:26

olliplimsoles

She's 6. 6 year olds aren't renown for relaying the situation that accurately

I dont like this attitude at all^ attitudes like this are why children go on being abused, they aren't taken seriously. Instead of assuming your child must be remembering wrongly- why not probe them further or trust them a bit

Don't you? That's a shame. 🙄 Good job I wasn't talking to you then isn't it.

Not starting a drama over a jam rolypoly really isn't going to lead to abuse. Honestly.

multivac · 11/04/2017 23:31

For goodness' sake; this isn't 'the lunchbox police' - it's a little kid eating lunch in a new environment for the first time, wanting to 'fit in' but also have the pack up she's been excited about, and getting overwhelmed. Isn't it?

Original poster
Funnyfarmer · 11/04/2017 23:31

@multivac. Hate to break it to you. But I am in the real world and I am a real person. She's been going for years. It's not like it's her 1st day. It's just 1st time she's had lunch there. It slipped my mind I'm the world's worst parent! Hmm
Although I do appreciate your perfect parent boasts they don't really answer my question

OP posts:
Original poster
Funnyfarmer · 11/04/2017 23:37

No it isn't.
Not a new environment
Not overwhelmed. Definitely never does anything just to fit In.
It's just a mum asking other mum's if they have experienced anything similar over strick lunch box rules in holiday clubs that's all.

OP posts:
multivac · 11/04/2017 23:39

shrugs
Up to you, OP.
Personally, I reckon it's generally my responsibility to feed my children - and if I'm subbing it out to someone else, I like to know the deal. I also happen to know that holiday clubs and schools are subject to exactly the same regulations regarding healthy eating in the eyes of Ofsted.

I can definitely imagine sending my kids off somewhere with a last-minute packed lunch 'just in case', because for whatever reason I, the parent, didn't find out the rules in advance.

What I wouldn't do, is whinge afterwards about 'lunch box police... again'. Because that would just make me sound rather immature and silly.

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