Men's health....

[amammabear]

Reposting for traffic!

Sorry, I really didn't know what to title this! I'm hoping someone will be able to offer some advice.

I know a man... Ahem... Who has an issue with his penis. He's only very recently become sexually active so I'm not sure that he'd ever realised that this isn't normal. The problem is that he cannot achieve a complete erection, only ever getting part way, and I suspect this may be because his foreskin won't pull back away from the head- it gets completely stuck and just won't move at all and he finds it painful.

He won't go and get medical advice  but I'm worried about what other effects this might be having, I think he's having some psychological issues that may be related, not that he'd admit it, but I'm also worried that it might cause some real medical issues- AIBU to say that he really MUST go to the doctor about this?

You can't force him to go it's his business.
Don't know why men are so bad at going to the Drs though.

I really think you should encourage him - the foreskin issue is called phimosis/paraphimosis and the fix is circumcision. It's actually very common.

Yes, I've been looking it into out tonight and it sounds like phimosis, I'm really worried.

There's no need to be worried? It's not deadly, it's pretty much life limiting only in one area - the one you've noticed, so nothing to be worried about.

The operation to fix is normally a simple outpatient GA, although I would make sure non circumcision solutions are discussed. I was operated on at 19, I could maintain an erection before, but there was often pain without. Even pulling a stitch out accidentally a week or so later was less painful.

How you encourage him, no idea? Especially as it isn't a MUST, the only harm is if it impacts your fun.

Thank you so much for your reply, I'm more concerned that because he is refusing to go to the doctors that he might have health problems later as a result.

I do think that it may have affected him psychologically already, he is not a young man anymore and has never had a sexual relationship before, he was very nervous to let me see his penis when we became close, he has issues with his weight and self confidence and can be a little bit self destructive- I'm beginning to think that it may all be related, but was wondering if it might have more severe health implications that I might be able to use to persuade him that he really needs to get it looked at.

Well, one thing I am fairly sure about it that it is not hygienic. If he cannot pull the foreskin back, how does he wash there?

This is very ridiculous behaviour for a grown man. Tell him to get it looked at already. As previous posters said, circumcision might not even be necessary.

I disagree that it's ridiculous behaviour for a grown man. If you have a fear, you have a fear, old, young, male, female.

The pain of phimosis would be far greater than a half hour procedure and a few weeks of healing.

You're not trying to ....save this man are you, OP?

Bad idea. Very bad.

VestalVirgin it washed fine in a bath, water can still go in and clean it foreskin to head with contact between the two, same as washing hands you just rub them together right. While you're not in a position to get a scouring pad onto it, I don't think you'd do that anyway!

amammabear Is he able to orgasm through some form of sex? If so I'd possibly just back off for a bit and build the sexual confidence with doing those things and leave penetration until the confidence comes, and you can frame it more positively as opening up more opportunities, rather than negatively? But that depends how limiting it it is of course.

Can he pull the skin back when it is flaccid? I imagine gently working the foreskin and stretching it over time would be an alternative to circumcision.

Thanks everyone!

I don't think he can move it when it's flaccid, no, I believe it's completely stuck. I'm definitely not pushing him for sex, he wants to do it and it clearly isn't working all that well for either of us.

I have a few friends whose sons were born with this and circumcised as babies as a result. I'm not sure what the medical rationale behind the circumcision was, but I think the general concern was that it would cause discomfort or their penis would explode as they grew.

If he's fine with it, the I guess it's his choice as to whether he gets it looked at or not, and your choice as to whether it's a dealbreaker if he doesn't.