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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To Think I deserved a phonecall?

11 replies

SparkleUnicorn · 09/04/2017 19:51

So ex left me two years ago (for my bf, without telling me, but that's another story) and literally today moved to Scotland, (From the South West of England, where me and the kids still are)

And today announced on FB the date for their wedding (this August)
I knew they were engaged, again from a public facebook annoncent, this one on dd's birthday :-(

aibu, to think that after 11 years and 3 kids, it would have been a common courtesy to let me know first/privately. Am I not even worth a phone call or text? Ex was in my house on Friday ffs.

And even if ex is just an unthinking idiot , surely former bf should know better?

Or are they as evil as I think they are :-) and just love rubbing salt into my wounds?

OP posts:

Avioleta · 09/04/2017 19:54

It would have been common courtesy to let you know.

But since your DH and BF were shagging behind your back while he was still married to you, it doesn't sound like common courtesy is something either of them have in spades.

caffeinequick · 09/04/2017 19:56

My thoughts exactly Avioleta

Holland00 · 09/04/2017 20:01

I wouldn't have expected to be told, for the same reasons as above.

I do understand how you feel though, STBXH had an affair with my 'friend'

user1489261248 · 09/04/2017 20:05

YABU. I am sorry for what they did to you,and hopefully Karma will come back and bite them on the ass. But they had no obligation to tell you imo.

Avioleta put it beautifully though when she said.... "since your DH and BF were shagging behind your back while he was still married to you, it doesn't sound like common courtesy is something either of them have in spades."

Jengnr · 09/04/2017 20:08

Not telling you wedding date is a bit shit but not really to do with you unless they need you to facilitate the kids.

Moving to another country without a word is a HUGE deal. Totally out of order.

PeaFaceMcgee · 09/04/2017 20:10

What insensitive shits they are. He should have given your children the honour of telling them first, not letting them find out on FB.

As for you OP - it's none of your business, so yabu on that one. But your children should have been told.

TisMeTheLadFromTheBar · 09/04/2017 20:17

Had he told his children? They may need support from you since he is moving so far away so he is being an insensitive twat at best . You ex bf must be very naive to think he'll honour his wedding vows when he treated you so poorly.

HarryPottersMagicWand · 09/04/2017 20:31

They told you exactly how they intended to treat you when they were carrying on behind your back.

Fuck them, you are worth more than them and they are utter shitbags.

MMM3 · 09/04/2017 20:36

Telling you directly might be more "rubbing your face in it" than not, maybe?

But OMG what horrible people! Please, for your own sake, unfollow them on any and all accounts.

Butterymuffin · 09/04/2017 20:44

What selfish, thoughtless losers. I wouldn't bet on it all ending well for them, even if they're planning a dream wedding in their new home. Has he given any thought to how he will continue contact with his children?

HelenaGWells · 09/04/2017 20:45

The wedding thing wouldn't bother me but the moving thing absolutely would. It will have a massive impact on the kids. I assume he must see them if you saw him on Friday. That is utterly despicable behaviour.

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