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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be disgusted over the cuts to widowed parents

39 replies

brexitstolemyfuture · 06/04/2017 08:15

They came it today and this is the first I've heard of them. Have I been really ignorant or have they been slipped in?

OP posts:

Wando1986 · 06/04/2017 08:31

You've been ignorant. Also not entirely sure why you think the state should support someone's children to that extent (beyond 18 months) when they don't offer the same additional support to lone parents.

Wasn't really fair to everyone else was it, funding the children for potentially 18 years.

People die. Parents die. Spouses die. That's why you have life insurance. People also need to move on in their lives and should be able to find their feet again within 18 months. It's shit, but shit happens. You have to deal with it.

onlyinshakespeare · 06/04/2017 08:31

Not everyone can get life insurance.

Wando1986 · 06/04/2017 08:32

That's why they still pay you for 18 months now.

DermotOLogical · 06/04/2017 08:33

Wando I agree. It was an unrealistic benefit.

allthingsred · 06/04/2017 08:37

The cuts for everyone are shit

Be they widows, loan parents & people on low income, and actually people on middle income. People on dla & there carers. People with more than 2 children.
Wasn't it shown that all the changes that are being bought in everyone from middle income down will be worse off. But (surprise surprise) the rich will get richer.

Original poster

brexitstolemyfuture · 06/04/2017 08:40

All the benefit was doing is giving back ni contributions as the dead parent won't get a state pension but you make it sound like it was generous! Christ on a bike!

OP posts:

ShatnersWig · 06/04/2017 08:40

As there have been previous threads on MN about it, quite lengthy ones in some cases, I'm surprised you hadn't heard about it on here if not in the media. Of course, fewer people read newspapers now, or sit and watch a news programme, so these things will pass people by far more than before. Not quite sure what Governments are supposed to do - issue a letter to every home every time they do anything?

UppityHumpty · 06/04/2017 08:41

I disagree even with the 18 months. I don't believe widowed parents shouldn't be more better off than single parents. It's like they benefited just because they got married which is rubbish

HermioneJeanGranger · 06/04/2017 08:49

But marriage does give you legal benefits - it's a huge reason why so many get married.

You see it on here all the time. People (predominantly women) have kids and move into their partners' homes, often give up their jobs to raise the kids, then act shocked when they split up and realise they have no rights on the house in the event of a split or their partner's death. But people keep doing it because they just don't think it'll happen to them, because their partner is different (and immune to accidental death, apparently.)

If you want the legal protection of marriage - get married!

megletthesecond · 06/04/2017 08:52

I'm a single parent. I still think the cuts to widowed parents are shit . It's not a race to the bottom.

ShatnersWig · 06/04/2017 08:53

allthingsred Why should people have got any benefit whatsoever for having more than 2 children? Seriously, I cannot find one sensible argument to say why that was a justifiable benefit in the first place, no matter how small the amount was in the first place. Why should people on "middle income" receive any benefits?

The welfare state was supposed to aid people WHEN THEY NEEDED IT, not on a permanent basis. The cuts that I do object to were for those with disabilities and carers. The rest? Not so much.

Mulledwine1 · 06/04/2017 08:54

All the benefit was doing is giving back ni contributions as the dead parent won't get a state pension but you make it sound like it was generous! Christ on a bike

They get a widow's pension.

In fact it annoyed my mum when a friend of hers who had been widowed continued to receive a widow's pension when she remarried, but I said it was justified because her late husband had paid in to the system, so she should continue to get it regardless of whether she was married to someone else or not. It's also quite sexist to say once you remarry you'll be supported so you don't need it!

user15262093 · 06/04/2017 08:57

I think the cuts to widowed parents are disgusting, someone i know became a widow at the age of 23 with 2 young children, and lost her home from under her because she no longer could afford the rent and the landlord wouldnt take housing benefit, and her income dropped massively overnight, so her two young children went from having a mum and dad, a home and food on the table to having no dad, sleeping on a sofa in someone elses home and having no money at all to do anything any more and I'm sure that the widowed parents allowance must have been really helpful to her. We as a family pay a lot in tax and i would be more than happy for it to be spent in this way, i too was disgusted. 18 months is far to short.

Lakegeneva40 · 06/04/2017 08:58

I was fully aware of this and I think it is disgusting but you will get people saying well-done parents don't get is do why should widowed parents.
The Government will just keep on cutting benefits.
I have 3DC and I am fortunate not to have to rely on benefits as dh is a hr tax payer. However if he died after a prolonged illness the finances would take a huge hit.
We are extremely lucky as we have a home and life insurance etc .
However the probate charges on the estate would be several thousand now instead of about a hundred.
Yet I don't expect anybody to give a toss about this if they are happy to see bereavement benefits for all so greatly culled.

Lakegeneva40 · 06/04/2017 09:01

Lone not done.

ShatnersWig · 06/04/2017 09:04

Lakegeneva No, you aren't lucky. You have made provision in the event of death with home and life insurance. You are both sensible and fortunate.

There are others, I grant you, who through circumstances might not have been able to be sensible or fortunate.

SaorAlbaGuBrath · 06/04/2017 09:06

I think it's appalling. And people need to remember that not everyone can afford life insurance, or if they can it doesn't always pay out (suicide, drugs/alcohol). A widowed parent is not only a lone parent, but also dealing with the loss of a spouse and the mother/father of their children and all the grief and pain that comes with it. Having seen a friend of mine widowed very young recently, the least she should have been able to expect is a bit of support. And no, the life insurance didn't pay out in that instance, which made life a million times harder than it already was!

Littlecaf · 06/04/2017 09:07

Lots of people are moaning about cuts..... did you vote and who did you vote for?

What do people expect with a Conservative Government and Brexit on the horizon? None of this is particularly surprising.

RainbowsAndUnicorn · 06/04/2017 09:07

The original payment term was far too long and needed cutting.

However I disagree with the new term being less than income support for lone parents, losing a spouse is something you have no choice in whereas a relationship split (if there was one in the first place) is no where near the same whatsoever.

Lakegeneva40 · 06/04/2017 09:12

Actually I still think think I am lucky. I am fortunate that I have a dh with a good job and thus can afford life insurance. We also inherited money which whilst not lucky to have no parents we have been able to clear mortgage with inheritance. Others could lose parents but do not inherit.

Lakegeneva40 · 06/04/2017 09:14

And no I didn't vote for them or Brexit.

SaorAlbaGuBrath · 06/04/2017 09:15

Lots of people are moaning about cuts..... did you vote and who did you vote for?

Yes I did and not the bloody Tories!

SaorAlbaGuBrath · 06/04/2017 09:15

And I certainly didn't vote for Brexit either

makeourfuture · 06/04/2017 09:19

What do people expect with a Conservative Government

"Blame me not," said the scorpion, in a supplicatory tone, "it is not my fault; it is that of my nature."

reallyanotherone · 06/04/2017 09:25

I think the difference between widowed and single parents is the child still has two parents to financially support them.

If you're widowed, that's it. Technically, if you're a single parent the other parent is out there and legally obliged to pay child support.

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