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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to delete BIL off FB

32 replies

BellBlues · 04/04/2017 13:19

My SILs and BIL (and at points MIL) have always questioned some choices my DH and I have made.

From Christmas arrangements to wedding choices and a few in between.

BIL posted earlier a photo on fb of my DH family surname and tagged everyone who has the surname. He wrote..

Reminding everybody and tagging who is left in the family.
DH decided to take my name when we married and it looks like he isn't too thrilled about it.

AIBU to delete him off fb? It's irritated me and I've normally kept fairly chilled out with responses and reactions to numerous things over the years. He's in his early 30s.

OP posts:
CaoNiMartacus · 04/04/2017 13:24

Huh? I really don't understand the issue here.

MrsPacMan · 04/04/2017 13:26

You're over thinking , delete Facebook and enjoy the real world where not everything is considered to be passive aggressive

Endlessmusings · 04/04/2017 13:28

Just hide his updates?

I probs my wouldn't delete because people can become very childish.

For example I had a friend who I confided in a massive secret, this friend then went and told other people ... I removed them from my fb and apparently I was the one in the wrong for doing this Hmm

Sometimes it's just not worth the drama

Boooooom · 04/04/2017 13:28

MrsPacMan

This!

SheSaidHeSaid · 04/04/2017 13:28

To me it does seem like a dig and, if it is, I wouldn't want to give them any satisfaction at knowing it got to you so I wouldn't delete them.

Mumzypopz · 04/04/2017 13:28

So he didn't tag your husband? Is that what you are saying? If so, he could just be joking. I suppose it depends how much you are bothered about allowing him on your Facebook?

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 04/04/2017 13:29

You can't delete him from FB - you can unfriend/unfollow/block him but You can't make him remove his profile Confused

Original poster
BellBlues · 04/04/2017 13:30

I enjoy many aspects of FB so won't be deleting it but was wondering others views if I deleted BIL.

He's now written that he's making a point that DH no longer wants to be part of the family. We have a lot of mutual friends and family on his page so it just felt for me that he was airing things he didn't need to!

OP posts:
Moussemoose · 04/04/2017 13:32

Bil is a tosser. Simples.

Mumzypopz · 04/04/2017 13:32

If he's written that definitely unfriendly him. That's not appropriate, is he too scared to say it to his brothers face? He sounds a bit of a loon.

CalonGoch · 04/04/2017 13:33

Mute/unfollow him. You won't have to see his passive aggressive wittering; he will assume you can see and are rising above it, and it will piss him off mightily. There you go. All the satisfaction of the moral high ground, without the personal agony of dragging yourself up there.

Original poster
BellBlues · 04/04/2017 13:38

Mute/unfollow :) will take a look at that option on FB. Thanks

OP posts:
FlyingElbows · 04/04/2017 13:42

Don't waste your life bothering about pathetic shit like that. Just feel sorry for anybody who has to write passive aggressive Facebook posts because they lack the ability to communicate like a grown up.

redjoker · 04/04/2017 13:44

Just delete facebook. 1 million times easier

Trust me its liberating

TondelayaDellaVentamiglia · 04/04/2017 13:45

Do the "unfollow" AND set him and the ILs in a little group all of their own, and customise your settings so they never see anything of yours. It s awkward to find how to do this, but have a good rummage in friends list/settings and it is in there somewhere.

You'll only come unstuck if you have mutual friends who are likely to show the ILs something on your timeline.

FrenchLavender · 04/04/2017 13:48

It is a dig at your husband but I would ignore it, don't comment on it on FB or in person, rise above it and don't cause a massive family rift over it.

He obviously feels strongly that your DH made an odd and rather hurtful choice that insults his family. He's entitled to that view. Let it go. Life is too short to fight needless, pointless battles like this. if anyone wants to fight it let it be your DH. You stay out of it.

CMamaof4 · 04/04/2017 13:52

Yeh delete him if he's annoying you, I did that with my in-laws and I felt so much better Grin

SapphireStrange · 04/04/2017 13:53

I'd unfollow him because I don't need to see shite like that.

If he mentions it, or the surname thing, again I'd ask him to desist and recommend that he get a life.

SapphireStrange · 04/04/2017 13:53

Sorry; comma in wrong place there but I'm sure you get the drift...!

PuntCuffin · 04/04/2017 14:03

If it takes having the same name to be part of a family, I am not sure i would want anything to do with it.

FerdinandsRevenge · 04/04/2017 14:10

Has his wife given up her family?

KungFuPandaWorksOut16 · 04/04/2017 14:11

Isn't SIL a traitor too her family then if she married BIL and changed her name?

He needs to grow up. And you need to stop caring what others think.
It's a surname - I don't get why he is getting so worked up about it.

floraeasy · 04/04/2017 14:16

He's now written that he's making a point that DH no longer wants to be part of the family

It has obviously got under your BIL's skin that your DH changed his surname to yours.

BIL is only making himself look PA and childish in being unable to accept another adult's choices for himself.

I wouldn't dignify it with a response - not even deletion.

TheWalkingTiger · 04/04/2017 14:27

Is it some kind of sibling rivalry gone totally loopy thing? He wants to show PILs he's a good boy or something.

namechange20050 · 04/04/2017 14:29

He sounds like a twat. He's doing it for a reaction; just ignore him & it will annoy him Grin