to need to be stratospherically good-looking within 3 months?

[Justofftotheshops]

I'm 24, blonde, 5'3, petite, dress size 8-10 but don't carry it well (petite but untoned), don't much like my face but good hair/good teeth - when I'm skinny can pass for pretty hot in the right light, on a good day, with nice make-up!

I want to be insanely attractive - for a guy - within 3 months...

Can it happen?!

You sound smokin' already! But yes, you can tone and make a difference in 3 months. That's a long time. I'm sure someone in the know will be along soon but you could maybe invest in a trainer and focus on weights to tone up a bit?

Is this guy going to become insanely attractive for you? Why don't you become insanely attractive for yourself? Or, if you do become insanely attractive and then this bloke decides you or your personality aren't quite good enough then what?

If I'm honest it's for myself! For confidence etc. - but also I'm potentially meeting up with a tinder guy and am super paranoid I don't match my photos - he's out of my league x 1,000,000. Put bluntly, I'm a 4 and he's a 10!!

But deep down it is for myself - if I never see the guy it's fine, I just want to look my best and more importantly feel my best

Do it for yourself.
It is a seriously bad idea to put someone on a pedestal. Nobody is perfect and if you do start a relationship with him, it's pretty uneven in terms of the balance of power.
Please don't number yourself as well. This is the kind of thing a very small number of loser men do to women to bring them down a peg or two.
Great to feel your best if and when you meet this person but better to see this in the wider scheme of improving your own confidence.

A tinder date waiting 3 months? He must be keen OP!

Shit, if you're a 4 I'm a, mmmn, do they have negative numbers? Seriously, how do you know his picture is accurate? I'm too old and too long married to have used tinder so I'm out of my depth with advice.

Well I don't even know if we will meet

Essentially we planned to meet a long while ago then both our lives took different turns, he randomly got back in touch to say he was moving nearby and wanted to meet - he had specific dates but we didn't make plans for them. My new idea is to get into shape/feel good for myself then drop him a text asking if settled in and wants to finally go for a drink - no problem if he doesn't, it is just so I feel at my best on dates in general really

I know his pic is accurate cos I have done some heavy duty stalking due diligence and was v scared first time we met that he wouldn't be who he said Social media pics confirm he is, indeed, smoking!

As a 44 year old woman, believe me...you alread ARE stratospherically good looking.

Really. I promise.

You WILL look back and think "God I was bloody PERFECT!"

Focus on the parts you like and show them off.

If you need a boost, then drink more water and get your hair done.

The trick is to work on your self esteem. Believe me, most people would rather spend time with a happy, self-assured, fun 6 than an unhappy, insecure, worried and self-effacing 10.

I was probably a 7 with a leading wind and good light in my day and I snogged shagged more than one man who snogged shagged models. Happily. Because I like myself.

By all means tone up. I'm more confident running than sitting on my arse. But don't mistake toned muscles for a personality.

Building this whole situation up to this extent is setting yourself up to fail. Placing that much store in the physical outer packaging is quite sad.

Maybe that photograph you're looking at on Tinder is a fake, and he's actually 5' 4 in stacked heels with a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp. What then?

Please think about the whole person, who they are as a human being.

i hate the way social media is making our society so shallow.

In all seriousness, I'm not shallow. He seems like a decent human being with good morals (don't want to out how I know this, but I do think it) and I know I have good morals, have always been more out what is inside than outside.

There is nothing wrong though with me wanting to improve myself a bit lot beforehand - as I say, it's not really for him, it's for me. I am stuck in a rut and feeling unattractive :s

The most gorgeous two guys (model looks, perfect bodies) I ever had a thing with

1. Turned out to be a functioning alcoholic and self harmer
2. Was a charming abuser who forced me to shave my pubic hair, told me I was disgustingly fat, that my friends were all horrible and tried to stop me from seeing them, and eventually raped me anally. Thank god I still kept my friends who were right about him from the start.

Not to say that all gorgeous guys are alcoholic rapists but be careful OP.

I'm now married to a guy who doesn't look like a model but is gorgeous to me.

YY do it for yourself. Getting toned and fit will make you feel so good about yourself and the sense of achievement is amazing!

Great, shape up for yourself. That's not what your thread is about though was it. You wanted to know if you should change yourself for some random bloke on Tinder.

As for him having morals, you do realise that people can use all sorts of fancy words to package themselves up well. Doesn't mean that's who they are in RL.

Enjoy the Fitness drive, but please start reading the book instead of focusing on the cover.

OMG mystery . Glad you have a gorgeous caring DP now though. Way to go!