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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to stop TTC because of work

14 replies

lifeasiknowit · 30/03/2017 21:15

I've had 3 absences this year due to 2 miscarriages and one pregnancy related hospital admission.

Shall I stop TTC so I don't risk having more time off? Work are already frustrated due to my sickness level.

OP posts:
TalkingofMichaelAngel0 · 30/03/2017 21:17

Well of course not. You cant think like that.

How far gone were you when you had the mcs?

cheminotte · 30/03/2017 21:18

Sorry for your losses. Flowers I can't really tell you that. Do work know the reasons ? Can you take a break for a few months before you start TTC again? Most attendance systems are based on number of days and number of absences in a rolling period.

Original poster
lifeasiknowit · 30/03/2017 21:18

16 weeks in January. Then 7 weeks now.

OP posts:
Original poster
lifeasiknowit · 30/03/2017 21:19

Work do know the reasons. They're always recorded as pregnancy absences with a sick note!

OP posts:
QforCucumber · 30/03/2017 21:20

Are they aware theyre pregnancy related absences? Legally these cannot count against you on a sickness record and must be kept seperate.

Misspilly88 · 30/03/2017 21:21

No way! It's totally your right to try for a child, if you want to try again. There are bigger things in life than work.

ThePiglet59 · 30/03/2017 21:23

Choose.
Career now or TTC now.
Could you get by if you didn't work FT?

Lilly948204 · 30/03/2017 21:23

I'm so sorry about your miscarriages. I had two weeks off after a MC last year and then managed to get pregnant again and have had a lot of time off for sickness because of pregnancy. My work have been amazing and I don't think it is fair that yours are getting annoyed with you because of this. Have you told them why you've had time off?

I wouldn't give up TTC for that reason, a job is just a job at the end of the day xx

Ummmmgogo · 30/03/2017 21:26

I'm so sorry for your losses. Yes yabu to stop ttc. Take care of yourself x

ShowMeWhatYouGot · 30/03/2017 21:30

Sorry this has happened to you Flowers

Don't ever stop trying to get something you want because of a job, there's loads of them and only one of you.

Don't worry about your work, they can't punish you for any absences related to what you have gone through. If they do make sure to get help x

Laura2507 · 30/03/2017 22:08

Your absences are all pregnancy related, which your employer knows about, so you are protected and they can't use this to force you out of your job, if that is what you are worried about.

That alone is not a reason to stop TTC. You should only stop if you feel you need a break from it physically and mentally. It sounds like you have been through a lot the last few months.
But do not stop TTC just because you are worried about work and absences

CeCeBloomer · 30/03/2017 22:08

As pp said - they do not count on your sickness record if pregnancy related so would not be passed on to next employer etc. definitely keep on trying - was 4th time lucky for me! Last miscarriage I didn't actually take a day off, went into hospital for a couple of hours for a manual evac on Xmas eve but previously I took a week each time

Original poster
lifeasiknowit · 30/03/2017 22:29

Thank you all.

I'm going to take a few months off anyway, but due to my mental health.

Work is just another worry I don't need at the moment.

OP posts:
Original poster
lifeasiknowit · 31/03/2017 00:50

piglet I need to work full time, we couldn't afford for me to work part time.

I don't want to choose between TTC and my career, I plan on going back to work after maternity leave and am currently doing a work based degree that I also want to continue.

OP posts:
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