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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask how you would deal with 3yo doing this

25 replies

domesticgoddesshaha · 27/03/2017 16:58

I have 2 DC, a 3yo and a 14 month old.

When we walk to the local shop (about 5-6 mins if I was walking alone) 14mo goes in the pushchair and 3yo goes on his scooter or balance bike. He is very proficient on both and I generally have to jog with pushchair to keep up.
However, almost every time, at some random point along the route he just refuses point blank to continue and throws an almighty tantrum.
When little was littler, I used to just dump 3yo in pushchair and sling the little one. However, now she is older, she hates the sling so it seems unfair on her to do this. Plus, 3yo is huge and strong (wears age 5 clothes) and it is now virtually impossible for me to get him in the pushchair if he's kicking and struggling.

I have tried just waiting, but after 20 mins sitting on the pavement he still doesn't give up.
I've tried getting him to explain what he's upset about - can't get any sense out of him, he just sits there and says nothing except "no" and crying.
Today I resorted to carrying him kicking and screaming under one arm while pushing buggy (with bike balanced on top) with the other. Not particularly safe by the side of the road but we needed to get home as I had an appointment.
Does anyone have the magic answer for how to deal with a toddler too big to really carry safely when they do this?

OP posts:

Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 · 27/03/2017 17:01

How about a pit stop half way? Water bottle attached to the scooter? Maybe the muscles in is legs are hurting but he can't explain? My ds speeds along on his bike then gives up!! Then regains momentum and is off again!!

SleepFreeZone · 27/03/2017 17:04

How about those buggy board things?

SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower · 27/03/2017 17:06

Scooter lead. Attached to the front and you can pull him along?
Probably wouldn't work with the bike though.

Lindtnotlint · 27/03/2017 17:09

Not sure this is entirely best practice but have you tried just walking off? (Keeping a subtle eye out for danger at the same time...)

AndWhat · 27/03/2017 17:09

I have to give my 3yo targets with an incentive! For example I say to him, if you ride the bike to the swings you can play on them, otherwise we have to take your bike home now as it's too big for me to carry.

Porpoiselife · 27/03/2017 17:16

Maybe get a buggy board. Is he getting tired which is why he is refusing to move or just that he decided he doesn't want to go?

Porpoiselife · 27/03/2017 17:18

If the tantrums happen again, i'd also refuse to allow him to take the scooter or bike.

PurpleMinionMummy · 27/03/2017 17:23

I'd warn him we will stop stop taking the scooter/bike if he continues and then not take them next time . Although that may not help if he still refuses to walk half way. Agree with buggy board suggestion but if all else fails I would sling the younger one and put him in the pushchair. It's not fair but I dont see any other way.

Crunchyside · 27/03/2017 17:23

Hmm, while toddlers can be totally irrational, there is usually some weird underlying reason for their behaviour... I wonder why he does it? Tiredness, or maybe just doesn't want to go home - having too much fun on the scooter or not enough fun?!

Bribery might help. If you come home nicely you can have a chocolate button/watch TV/whatever... or threats - if you don't come along nicely I'll take your scooter away!

BernardsarenotalwaysSaints · 27/03/2017 17:26

They're irrational little buggers at that age or maybe that's just mine. Which end of 3 is he? If he's just 3 I'd look at a buggy board or scooter lead as pp have suggested. If he's closer to 4 I'd probably say no scooter/bike next time. If he walks well & behaves the next time then he can scoot/bike the time after that.

Falafelings · 27/03/2017 17:28

Buggy board

Lazyafternoon · 27/03/2017 17:38

My 3yo gets 'hot feet' which prevent him from walking a step further if we ever try and get him to walk anywhere out of Eye sight! Lazy little so and so. But no matter how much persuading, bribing, waiting he'll just end up in a tantrum. So you're not alone!

We have a scooter lead (he's only Dc) works wonders. He can scoot a bit then be pulled the remaining three quarters of the way! Have you tried a buggy board?

HeyRoly · 27/03/2017 17:42

It's hard to tell whether he's tired or just being a pain in the arse, isn't it?

My gut reaction is to think it's just a habit he's got into. Three year olds can be so trying. My DD at that age could start a fight in an empty room. Any opportunity to resist or otherwise try to exert some control... she'd take it

WellErrr · 27/03/2017 17:49

I would say 'get up I don't have the bloody time for this' and walk off. But depends on where you are. Can't do this on road...
If I was on the road I'm not sure
I'd either say 'I'm either carrying you or the bike, so get up and push it now or we're leaving it and you won't have one any more' or id give them a monumental telling off and refuse to take the bike out next time.

With 3 under 5s can you tell I have no time for faffing?

WellErrr · 27/03/2017 17:50

Oh and I wouldn't go down the 'he's tired' route at all. 5-6 minutes? Unless it's up a vertical incline all able bodied 3 year olds should be able to cope.

Astro55 · 27/03/2017 17:54

It's a 5 minute walk not a marathon! He has legs and probably spend all day running round!

I'd also walk away - gheyvusually follow - stop giving him and get tough

AddictedtoSnickers · 27/03/2017 18:59

Did you have a double buggy? Or could you borrow one for a few months? Might teach him if he wants to be a big boy, he needs to walk/scoot/ride properly all the way. When mine were 0,2 and 4yrs I always took the extra seat out with us on the buggy so either of the older 2 could ride if tired or grouchy after preschool. And it happened A LOT!

fassbendersmistress · 27/03/2017 19:09

I'd take the scooter and bike out of the equation. Teach him when he learns to walk there and back he can start taking scoot/bike again. You might still get tantrums but at least you have less to carry.

Maybe also introduce reward chart and factor in rewards for successful shop trips? It's a total pain and it will pass but try and teach him to understand the consequences of middle of the road tantrums in the meantime.

lightgreenglass · 27/03/2017 19:13

I have this with my DS3 - when he's tired after preschool he just wants me to carry him. He sobs on the pavement whilst hoards of parents walk pass. It's horrible. I'm firm with him and I don't give in, I have the buggy board if he wants to get on or he can squeeze in next to his brother. I'm going to try to gold star idea though as that seems to work for everything else.

Original poster

domesticgoddesshaha · 27/03/2017 19:55

Sorry I haven't been back was doing feeding time at the zoo!

I don't think he's tired. It's really not far at all and flat the entire way on nice smooth tarmac perfect for scooting.

He does the same even if I say we're going the park not home, so incentives don't necessarily work.

I have tried leaving him but I don't dare go too far as there's a fair amount of traffic. And to be honest he just still sat and refused to move.

I have got a buggy board but he won't stand on it if he's having a tantrum, and it's pretty much impossible to hold him upright on it and push the pram in a straight line.

The reason we take the scooter/bike is because he's even worse walking. He gets about 200m before declaring himself exhausted, yet funnily enough has the energy to run around the park for at least an hour once we arrive.

I'm starting to wonder if he's just really lazy.

OP posts:

Doje · 27/03/2017 20:02

I've recently started introducing consequences to my 3yr old. "No Paw Patrol tonight if there's any fuss" normally works. It normally cuts the tantrum short pretty quickly. Once or twice I've had to follow through on the 'punishment' but he certainly remembers it. He'll randomly say "I did get no Paw Patrol because there was some fuss" several days later.

lilyborderterrier · 27/03/2017 20:25

Bribery worked for me, I stopped using the push chair at 2.5 as it was heavy and my daughter was big, we walk everywhere as I don't drive and even now at 4, she sometimes moans but I use whatever means I can, usually the promise of a jelly sweet at home. I did use dairy free chocolate buttons on the walk home to start with when she was little.

Sunshineandlaughter · 27/03/2017 20:29

Buggy board with a seat - and a snack so he'll sit down when you need him to

2/3 year olds on a bike/scooter on a road is so dangerous IMO - especially if they don't always want to play ball.

ThermoScan · 27/03/2017 20:31

I would use bribery in this situation.Jelly bean if you scoot /ride now and another one for getting all the way home.

WellErrr · 28/03/2017 19:47

He's lazy then

Once you comprehend, as a parent, that whining and faffing are punishable offences.....life improves 😂😂

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