To lie about my due date?

[missm0use]

I had a early scan to check how far a long I was due to irregular periods and DP came long - all fine and said I was 6w + 4. (Now 10 + 3) but didn't want to give a due date as it might change at my 12 week scan. DP isn't coming to 12 weeks scan as wants to save his time off / holidays for 20 week scan and when baby arrives. So won't be there when I get my date, so I could add on a few extra days so when we tell MIL he can honestly tell her the wrong date to save me some pestering!

With DD I was due on the 10th but was 13 days over by the time I she arrived and the pestering started 3 weeks before my due date so by the time I gave birth I had a full month of : Any sign of the baby? Are you in labour? Have you lost your plug yet? And other invasive questions from MIL! As well as all the other daily texts / phone calls once I got to my due date from the rest of family and friends asking if the baby's on its way / here yet!

Would be completely unreasonable to add on a week / 10 days to save myself from wanting throttle MIL?

Oh yes definitely it was so nice being peaceful - I told everyone I was due 'right at the end of April' when the EDD was actually 18th!

I was unspecific with ds1 and 2 about due date due to the pestering with DD (went two weeks over) Just tell DH you don't want to tell anyone exact date and just say early autumn.

Absolutely!

I get where you're coming from...but I think YABU I'm afraid. I was 14 days over with DS so understand the constant pressure and questions about something you have no control over...but what if something went wrong and DH / MIL told medical staff the wrong information? 7/10 days can make a big difference.

Fingers crossed second baby comes quicker and you don't have constant messages. Or, why don't you just say to her when she starts "thanks MIL, given this is baby number 2 I know what signs to look for this time. I'll keep you updated, but please don't message me constantly as it doesn't do anything to help".

Term is 37-42 weeks. You can elaborate as much you want.

Sounds like a genius idea to me! I'd probably get my DP on board though as I know he would join me, but that depends on if yours would agree to keep the real date a secret or not.

Good idea. Also, unless you need her for child care, do not tell her when you have gone into labour. I don't understand why people do this.

Hlbug, I think that's a bit ott - the official Edd would be in your green notes.

This time round I just vaguely tell people it's the end of June.

With the first two I always gave the exact date. The pestering never bothered me but last time I was due shortly before mil's birthday. The whole way through she kept telling me she had a feeling the baby was going to be born on her birthday. An uncomfortable, impatient pregnant person doesn't want to hear that someone has a feeling they are going to go overdue ffs!

Oh yes I did a vague 'End of April' when my due date was 24th. She arrived 14th.

I had this pestering from MIL. In the end, in response to another "any signs!" message, I replied: "Nothing, but you will be one of the first to know once he or she has arrived."

She didn't text again .

My own mum gave me plenty of space and didn't ask at all, was lovely.

Do it.
Although hopefully with a second baby she will be less enthusiastic.
I wouldn't worry about anybody giving wrong date in emergency. Your notes would keep Docs right and how often do people end up in hospital unconscious?

I think I'd opt to give your estimated date now before your scan, then forget to correct it after the scan. That way you aren't really lying just bending the truth.

Yanbu. Although that would have backfired on me if I'd tried that with my ds4. He was over 7lb at 35 weeks, nobody would have believed he was a 33/34 week baby.

I feel your pain though, the haven't you had the baby yet comments started when I was 28 weeks with ds5. Not helpful, especially when I was terrified of having another premature baby (I know 35 weeks isn't very early but ds4 was in neonatal for 4 weeks and has long term complications from his premature birth).

Isn't it quite nice that she's so excited and wants to know? I understand but also think its a little unreasonable

A due date is a prediction anyway, I don't think you should feel bad if you give everyone else one of your own choosing!

Add on a month
Saves with the "Ooooo how long now"

We've just told everyone late May/early June. No one is knowing the due date as tbh only 2% of babies are born on them. A baby is full term anywhere between 37 and 42 weeks... so thats 5 weeks to pop.

but what if something went wrong and DH / MIL told medical staff the wrong information? 7/10 days can make a big difference

...can't help thinking the medical staff would read the information off her notes, rather than phoning her MiL

I tried to be vague with edd (it was my first and my friend advised to put +2weeks so I didn't get the hassle she got) but some people are bloody persistent, 'yeah but what date? My cousins, mother in laws dog was born on blah blah blah maybe it will be the same date?' 😆
I know people are excited but back the hell off hormonal and sometimes petrified women.
In short in think you are completely reasonable 👍

I have just said to my newly pregnant friend to try to add a few weeks on to due date. It's awful all the pestering, can't understand why folk need to know if you are having any signs anyway. It's bad enough at that stage without a audience waiting for updates!

I've told people this one is due beginning of April but tried to avoid telling them that actual date (which is a week today, start making your way out any time now baby!)
It does get difficult when people go but what date? Argh I'm trying to avoid that haha
Thankfully most people I know are quite sensible so I'm not getting the constant questions.
I wouldn't hide the due date from your husband though, but explain that you want to be vague with due dates to avoid persistent irritating questions.