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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To teach my son how to defend himself?!

13 replies

nicetoseeyoutoseeyounice · 16/03/2017 21:40

Ds is 8 and has started having some trouble in the playground. A child 2 years above him is picking on him. The last 2 nights I've caught him up past bedtime playfighting himself lol. Like punching and kicking the air, I suppose in preparation to defend himself when the time comes. I was always taught not to engage bullies and ignore them. Which did not work and made me a complete wuss. I don't relish the idea of him fighting but want him to be able to defend himself if he does get into a scrap. Or at least give him the confidence to stand up to bullies. Should I encourage him to start a martial arts club?

OP posts:

theluckiest · 16/03/2017 21:51

Do you know what? A good martial arts club is a great idea. They will teach him not only how to defend himself if needed but also how to diffuse a situation calmly in the first instance.

My son started Taekwondo when he was 6 - I heartily recommend it. He has grown in confidence, knows how to defend himself but also has a really mature, calm approach. He is incredibly strong and fit now but it's his attitude that's brilliant - he has an inner confidence which means (hopefully) he won't have to use his physical strength at all.

Best of luck to your boy.

SilverMachine · 16/03/2017 21:56

My DS is the same age and has been doing karate for a year. He was having similar issues at school but karate has been absolutely amazing for his self confidence. It's is not about 'attacking'; it can teach you how to defend yourself. It has been a good way of release for DS as well as teaching him self discipline and focus.

I would say go for it! But do your research and find a club with good reviews. Good luck!

SparklyLeprechaun · 16/03/2017 22:00

Yanbu, it's a good idea. Just knowing that you can defend yourself is enough to give you the confidence to stand up to bullies, even if you never fight. I did karate from the age of 7 till about 16 and I only had to use my skills once in real life, but confidence wise it was amazing.

LellyMcKelly · 16/03/2017 22:04

You need to inform the school about the bullying as a separate issue. That said, you should definitely start him at martial arts classes anyway. My son has been doing Tae Kwondo for four years and is going for his black belt next year. It has given him so much confidence, keeps him fit, and has given him a whole new group of friends and activities outside of school.

NoWinNoFfi · 16/03/2017 22:14

I'm not sure that many martial arts are of much practical use in self defense, so I'd do some research if that's the main reason you'd be signing him up.

Also, be weary of the belts system. There isn't a universal standard for the belts, so they don't mean a great deal, they're generally just a way for the groups to make money out of members and some groups charge a lot. It can be a bit of a scam.

Boxing might be better?

AaoograhaHoa · 16/03/2017 22:16

Another vote here for baronial arts. My DS (8yrs) has been going since he was 6 and he loves it. Plus it gives him loads of confidence and keeps him fit.

AaoograhaHoa · 16/03/2017 22:16

Hahaha! "baronial arts"
Martial arts! Of course...

AaoograhaHoa · 16/03/2017 22:17

Damed auto correct.

Wolfiefan · 16/03/2017 22:17

Martial arts are great for confidence and fitness. My son does TKD and would be kicked out if he got into trouble for doing it at school.
You need him to have the strength to walk away and the confidence to report it. Schools need to deal with bullying. Ignoring it isn't the answer. But if he's caught throwing a punch he could be the one excluded.

Thattimeofyearagain · 16/03/2017 22:19

I put my ds I martial arts at age 13, after he had been attacked by a pair of bullies .
He stayed for about a year but never had cause to use his martial art, he holds himself with more confidence. Go for it 😊

Underthemoonlight · 16/03/2017 22:24

My son is 8 and has been recently injuried by a bully who tripped him up on purpose DS smashed all his face. He's starting martial arts this weekend. I tried him at 7 years old but he wouldn't pay attention to the instructor I don't think the style was the right fit for him. Both my dbs did martial arts from the age of 5 and won their age set in national martial arts championship they also made many friends and fully enjoyed it. It had all stemmed from my eldest db getting picked on by an older bigger lad. It enabled him to fight back and he got the better of him he left him alone. He was rarely bothered by another bully and it give him the confidence throughout his school years.

I've got a meeting with school tomorrow but particularly with lads if they think they can pick on someone and push them about they will but if they will if they know that child can defend themselves they tend to leave them alone.

Original poster

nicetoseeyoutoseeyounice · 16/03/2017 22:32

The bullying isn't really severe enough at the moment to get the school involved. It's just messing around so I'm not overly concerned but I know he's feeling a bit rubbish about being singled out. I just want to build his confidence enough to stick up for himself.

OP posts:

BeachyKeen · 16/03/2017 22:41

My son is at his martial arts training as we speak. I can't tell you the amount of calm, quiet confidence he has built.
He will never go looking for trouble, but of it happens, he will take care of him self.

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