To think this elderly man is up to no good?

[PartyOnDotCom]

My son is 11, he rides his bike to school (he used to walk) but he has passed that Bikeability thing and so I said he can ride.

On Friday, he rode his bike to school and his chain had come off and this was right outside a parade of shops (quite busy during the morning). He slipped on the curb (he looked down at wire). A man came over to help him put it back on (really kind of him) and he went off to school. He waited outside school for friend (like every morning) and the the man said he was just checking he got to school okay.

When I collected him on after school (I collected him on a Friday as he can't ride with his PE kit, so he rides home and I walk dog and carry PE kit). He was there again and came up to me and explained what happened and asked if I needed him to watch out for him in the mornings. I think he is probably just being nice, isn't he? I just don't know why I feels the need to follow him.

I don't understand your post. It's not clear what the elderly man did and offered.

I don't know, he just sounds lonely. Just thank him and reiterate stranger danger awareness to your son.

Your post and your title don't add up?

Why doesn't it add up? I'm really just unsure.

Nice and yes, lonely, probably. I wouldn't worry if your ds is sensible and knows where to draw a boundary.

He sounds harmless.

He may well just be a lovely old man that enjoyed a moment with a young child that he found a brief connection with. Why don't you talk to him more and suss him out?

I know when I go out with my baby, old people so want to talk to her and sometimes they are quite tearful when they talk to her and coo at her. I had one old dear say to me the other day 'I hope she has a wonderful life' and it properly choked me up.

Old people are lonely and this could be totally innocent. He's in public, I take it your boy is sensible? Perhaps chat to the old man and say while it isn't necessary for him to watch him on his way perhaps he could give him a wave when he sees him and then you could ask your son to do the same. I would.

If he was going to do any harm I doubt he'd have approached you. Probably a bit lonely and trying to be kind.

He sounds nice and harmless

Reiterate that your son can say hello but shouldn't go anywhere with anyone unless you've told him it's ok.

Can't see any evidence of him 'being up to no good' from what you've said.

Old people usually stick to a daily routine, perhaps he always walks to the shops that time of day so just happens to be in the area at the same time as your son. Or perhaps he's lonely and just enjoys the chance to chat to someone and feeling like he's doing something useful by looking out for him. Either way, I doubt he's 'following' your son or has any sort of malicious intent, and that's a strange conclusion to jump to.

He followed him to school that morning (said to DS when outside of school that he was just checking he got to school okay) and was then magically there at the time of pick up...

Thanks for the replies, that's a nice way of telling him that he doesn't need to watch him as such but a wave would be nice

So the man was at the shops buying his paper or whatever and he helped your DS with chain

Then your DS waits outside gates for his friend and man was there with him

Perhaps say to DS to wait inside school gates for his friend so he isn't hanging around outside

But to wave to man in mornings but not get into long conversations with him

How kind of him.

Isn't it nice to know there are still people like that around?

Good job he was elderly or he'd have left your kid in the road as he'd probably have been more aware of batshit paedo-noia running rife through society.

I hate the way people are so keen to judge anyone who is just showing a bit of neighbourly kindness, why on earth would you think this man is 'up to no good' - he is being kind, watching out in case your DS has another problem with his bike chain and then chatting to you. Do you honestly think he is going to abduct your 11 year old DS?

Gosh another person thinking there is evil around every corner. It's an old guy who was being helpful. Then he approached the child's mother to explain - probably for fear of accusations that "It isn't right". So sad that there is such a mistrusting generation being created by neurotic parents.

Always go with your gut OP, where your children are concerned.

1. Teach him to put his own chain on if it falls off.

1. Why can't he ride with his PE kit? Surely he'll have more to carry when he goes on to secondary school so should get used to it - and this arrangement sounds a right pain for you! (Eyes up 11 year old DD who manages to cycle 1.5 miles up a big hill with normal bag, PE kit and rucksack)

[Realises point 2 is entirely off topic]

@golfbuggy - he can put his chain on, he hit the curb because he looked down to see if it was off and the guy came over.

I walk the dog so I don't mind going to the school, it's such a small walk and it's through the village.

But I guess your daughter is better than my son though...

He won't be riding a bike to secondary.

You're title says Am i unreasonable to think this elderly man is up to no good? Well yes, you are. A pp is right, you're title and post do not linking any way.

I always remember a message a friend posted on FB (I know her so it actually happened). Her BIL was driving home from work on a very rural road and a young boy was walking along in a state of horrid distress. The BIL stopped and asked if he was ok. It turned out he had been attacked and really upset. The BIL asked what had happened, and got him to get in the car. He took him to the local police station and stayed with him.

From memory, the Police commended him on stopping and helping a very vulnerable young lad and made sure he got help when, in this day and age, he could have been accused of all sorts.

Sometimes, people just want to help and that warms my heart. We don't always need to go to the worst case scenario.

Sorry - may have gone off post...

Casual ageism tends to alienate the reader.

YABU - just as everyone who is ageist IBU.

"Old people usually stick to a daily routine"

WTF? Routines and their importance in someone's life depends on the person and their temperament, not their age.

I begged my wonderful 90 year dad not to allow kids to stroke our dog in the park or talk to them.
He thought I was totally bonkers, but more and more women are becoming paranoid about contact.
I've always helped women carry prams down station steps for instance until I read here that mothers don't like women over 50 being near their children. I'll never do it again.

How different the Polish people are.

Their School is through the park where I walk and they and their children are a delight.

Wave and say hello. All come to chat at what they did that day.
Mums smiling rather than scowling at an elderly person.

Since when did old people become sinister?

YAB a bit U.

The old chap was harmless by the sound of it, but sadly, the OP is in a world (and a time) where everyone is afraid of their own shadow, and every man is a potential rapist or child molester. (They are not of course! It's just how warped society has become; everyone is suspicious!!!) So even though the OP is being OTT, I can kind of get where she is coming from.